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29 Oklahoma City, OK Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 28–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:33pm
Middle Eastern, White
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Full figured
Not at all
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and dislikes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Tl;dr If you're chubby, have a beard, but don't have a cat or a kid... Say hi.

I've been out of the online dating game for almost a year now. My profile has been deactivated and definitely needed some editing. While it was pretty funny... I'm not the bitter, hateful asshole I was a year ago. I'm a lot happier but I'd still consider myself realistic. I don't have much time on my hands but I'm open to new people in my life at this point.

I'll add some more to this soon. I'm just not sure what I want to throw out there immediately

I will however leave one piece for this section from my old profile.

********If you don't like 'em tattooed, pierced, and need not apply. I'm well aware that I'm an acquired taste... and if my style/body shape isn't your cup of tea... no worries... also despite what you may have heard gentlemen, not all fat girls are easy ;) ********
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work... a lot! I work full time doing what I absolutely love... trying to build my business. I also have a part time job that I enjoy very much.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not getting pregnant. While I'm probably very capable... it seems that I know all of these mythical secrets that the rest of the women in Oklahoma aren't aware of.... weird, right?! So I don't have to put on my profile "I'm the parent of (insert ridiculous number higher than zero here) wonderful kid(s)" umm... real quick note.. yeah... if all of your kids were actually wonderful... as each of you claim they are... I wouldn't want to put a bullet in my face every time I go out in public.

Did I fill this section out correctly? Is that how it works? :)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My subtlety?!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I watch way too much tv.... if you like any of the following.. we might get along

Its always sunny in philadelphia (obviously)
Burn Notice
Law & Order SVU
The IT Crowd
The Jeselnik Offensive
Hell's Kitchen
Masterchef (honestly anything with Gordon Ramsay)
The Soup
The Walking Dead
The Big Bang Theory
Family Guy
American Dad
Robot Chicken
I could go on with the reality stuff that I like but that's just embarrassing...

Movies: I love comedies... But if the movie has Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, or Emma Stone in it... I'm sold! I also like action
**** Chronicle is the worst movie ever... and if I ever meet Josh Trank I'm going to punch him right in the dick .. not only for subjecting the world to that but also because he was picked to direct the new fantastic four... the fuck?! Favorite childhood super heroes ruined :(

As for music... I love what I call fun rock... My favorite band is called You Me And Everyone We Know... They truly make me happy.... my loves are Yellowcard, Motion City Soundtrack and Steriogram.
I also listen to a bit of pop (But having a vagina means that I'm allowed to do so)

Books... well... no thanks... I do however read the web comic Cyanide and Happiness religiously
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
cell phone
fake eyelashes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how to become successful and happy
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
working or at home browsing imgur wishing I were at a movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have strange hiccups... they just happen one at a time... randomly and have been compared to everything from the sound of a chihuahua being stepped on to a pterodactyl (I just chose not to argue with that last one... because let's face it... No one knows for sure that they didn't sound like that)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
* If you don't tan.
*If you don't shave your arms/legs (unless it's for tattoos).
*If you don't own a cat... Cats are just awful.... But the only thing worse than a cat... Is a grown man with a cat. There is no wiggle room with this one... at all... 100% fuck no.
*If in every picture you're not wearing a hat and/or sunglasses. You don't want a fat girl with only face shots, do you? I want to know what I'm getting myself into, as well.
*If the "offspring" and "pet" portion of your profile isn't blank. I will assume you have 6 kids and twice as many cats if it is.
*If you have a real beard and not just an Amish beard.
*If you don't think "baby" or "babygirl" is an appropriate name to call someone you don't know... especially in an initial message.
*If you don't do any illegal drugs.
*If you don't think a single question mark is a sufficient text message.
*If you didn't watch any of the twilight movies... I know I know "a girl made me do it".... sure she did.
*If you're not separated, in an open relationship, or still living with your ex. I'm looking for someone who is single and none of those apply.
*If the main pic of you isn't one where you're lifting up your shirt in the mirror to show off your abs that I wont care about.
*If you don't tuck in your t-shirts
*If when I'm reading the answers to your questions... I don't see that you think homosexuality is a sin but that you'll fuck on the first date. Some of you are so ridiculous that it's comical.
*If you can't tell... I may be a tad uptight :) so I do prefer a chill guy... they definitely help me relax... but please.. NO HIPPIES!(If you're wondering if you're a hippie... 2 questions can clear things up... would you want to go to colorado for any reason at all? Are you a vegan? If you answered yes to either of these... ding ding ding... we have a winner) I mean I care about the earth and everything but.... haha... jk... I don't care about the earth!!
*If you don't talk to your mom more than the girl you're dating... orphans preferred... mama's boys strictly prohibited!!
*If you don't reverse into parking spaces. (sorry to the 99% of black guys that this eliminates)
*If you can hold up your end of a conversation. A conversation isn't one person asking questions and the other person just answering them. That's called an interview. So if you're responding to my questions and my responses stop... That means your interview is over and you didn't get the job :)
*If you only ask questions you really want the answer to (I'll do the same I promise).
*If you know when to be a gentleman and know when it's okay not to be.
*If you're okay with the fact that I will be a little cunty sometimes.
*If you're not a ginger

To the sports/outdoorsy guys.... I'm not going to an OU game with you... I'm not going to a thunder game with you... and I am certainly NOT going camping or fishing with you. However... if you're the type of guy that wants to go to a hockey game, the gun range, or the batting cages..... I'm SO in!!!

I listed quite a few things I don't like... so I guess it's only fair to name some of my favorite things.

* Dark thick eyebrows
* BEARDS BEARDS BEARDS (full beards please, Amish beards don't count)
* Shoulder freckles
* Stomach hair
* A contagious laugh
* A southern accent
* A guy that prides himself on being a nerd ******EXCEPTION: magic the gathering
*Guys that carry sweet ass velcro wallets!
* Guys that are into local/live music
* A guy that likes to people watch... narrating conversations that people are probably thinking and not saying... it's a good time
* A guy that opens doors
* Nice arms (not necessarily big.. just.. nice...)
* A guy with a bit of style without being metrosexual (or at least be willing to let me help him shop)
*A guy that loves cupcakes and wouldn't mind being a taste tester (I love to bake)
*Guys that love dogs... owning one is a bonus!!!
* Side burns
* Guys that can agree to disagree
* A guy that likes to hold hands in the car or movie theater.
* Guys that wear band and/or super hero T-shirts
* A guy that agrees that Marvel wins over DC
* Dimples are an ultimate plus
* Stretched ears!!