OkCupid | ambalamps29 / 37 / M / Austin, Texas

My self-summary

**This profile is best viewed on an iPad while intoxicated, desperate and listening to loud music. Carry on, then...

᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷉᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜͢͟͜͢͟͜▲▲

‎I mostly don't have AIDS.

"Try to touch the past. Try to deal with the past. It's not real. It's just a dream."
-The Dalai Lama

We will all suffer at one point or another.

I answered a score of the match questions with added explanation text. Between that and the "message me if" section you can likely get a sense of what's what.

᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷉᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜͢͟͜͢͟͜▲▲

What I’m doing with my life

I’m really good at

- ҈҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉

..not filling out this section with a bunch of self aggrandizing bullshit. I excel at that, possibly more than anyone you've encountered thus far. Go ahead and bask in my Christlike humility. Let it wash over you like sin.

SHAVING. What's the obsession that hipters have with beards? Pubic hair on my face? No thanks. Not now, not never.

- ҈҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉҉

The first things people usually notice about me

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

The six things I could never do without

I spend a lot of time thinking about

᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷉᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜͢͟͜͢͟͜▲▲

If life is truly meaningless is this cause to mourn or cause to celebrate? Also, why do we worry?

Is unconditional love a form of illness?

Tranquilizing Shock.
Remotely Detonated Oxytocin.
Mass Hypnosis.
Extinction.
Hedonic Adaptation.
Consensus Reality and how it can be practically applied to make life more interesting.

What the word count on my internal dialogue would be and how it would compare to average.

᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷉᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈᷇᷆᷅᷄᷇᷆᷅᷄᷉᷈ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜ꍇ̸̷̶̵̴̶̷̨̧̢̡̨͚͙͖͕͔͓͎͍͉͈͇̼̻̺̹̳̲̱̰̯̮̭̬̫̪̩̦̥̤̣̠͚͙͖͕͔͓̩̺̻̼͇͈͉̳̯̮̭̬ͣͤͥͧͦͨͪͩͯͮͭͬͫͯ͛͗͒͑͐͌͋͊͆̈́̓͂́̀̿̾̽ͣͥͧͩͫͭͯͮͬͪͨͦͤ͛͗͒͑͐̽̾̿̀́͂̓̈́͆͊͋͘͘͢͟͜͢͟͜

On a typical Friday night I am

༼ꉺ✺ꉺ༽༼❁ɷ❁༽༼☁ɷ☁༽༼இɷஇ༽༼´◓ɷ◔`༽༼•̃͡ ɷ•̃͡༽༼ꉺεꉺ༽༼ꉺ౪ꉺ༽༼ꉺ✪ꉺ༽༼๑ɷ๑༽༼•̀ɷ•́༽༼ꉺ.̫ꉺ༽༼☉ɷ⊙༽༼✷ɷ✷༽༼≖ɷ≖༽༼ԾɷԾ༽༼･ิɷ･ิ༽༼ꉺˇɷˇꉺ༽༼ꉺლꉺ༽༼ꉺ✺ꉺ

Do you enjoy huffing paint thinner? Because I have connections in that world and know where to get the good stuff. Real talk.

༼ꉺ✺ꉺ༽༼❁ɷ❁༽༼☁ɷ☁༽༼இɷஇ༽༼´◓ɷ◔`༽༼•̃͡ ɷ•̃͡༽༼ꉺεꉺ༽༼ꉺ౪ꉺ༽༼ꉺ✪ꉺ༽༼๑ɷ๑༽༼•̀ɷ•́༽༼ꉺ.̫ꉺ༽༼☉ɷ⊙༽༼✷ɷ✷༽༼≖ɷ≖༽༼ԾɷԾ༽༼･ิɷ･ิ༽༼ꉺˇɷˇꉺ༽༼ꉺლꉺ༽༼ꉺ✺ꉺ

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

-I have feelings.

-I frequently burst out laughing when I am alone in places like the grocery store, etc. This causes strange looks but I can not help that my mind is so awesome that hysterical shit comes flooding in unexpectedly.

-There are hidden messages in this profile.

-I feel sympathy for inanimate objects. I try not to hurt their feelings.

-The Gandolfini/Arquette scene in "True Romance" makes me slightly choked up. Just slightly and it is the only scene of any film that does this. I am all manly and shit, I will arm wrestle you.

-I am socially deviant in the sense that I have zero tattoos. I will, however, let you draw on me if you aren't a jerk about it.

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I’m looking for

Girls who like guys
Ages 25–80
Near me
Who are single
For new friends

You should message me if

▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿

You be bold now, I will be bold later. That is how that works.

Of interest:

-You're not me.

-You own a Pomeranian or a Papillon.

-My OKC "Personality" suggests that I am "More Experienced In Love". Now that it is a scientific fact that I am an expert I feel that it would be selfish to keep all of this valuable insight to myself. You may contact me for top notch advice on dating & relationships.

I may not relate to you if:

-You "work hard/play hard". I find this sort of thing to be very intimidating! I am also frightened by people who "live life to the fullest". Yikes!

-You are a "glass half full" type. I'm more of a "smash the glass to pieces and open my wrists so that I don't have to share the planet with the unimaginative" type. Not in a judgmental way though...

-If your profile name ends with "4u" then you are most certainly not for me.

-You have set up a profile here to look for "casual sex". Oh my...

-You make references to being "hot" or "sexy" in your profile. Confidence and humility are not mutually exclusive.

-You have a bunch of bitchy things at the bottom of your profile about who should avoid messaging you or who you won't "relate to". No one likes a negative nancy.

Here's what to expect:

-There is a 97% chance that I will not initiate contact. That said, I will most likely write back. I'm fairly talkative for a boy.

-I won't be mean or try to, like, do it to you or whatever.

-I will not vandalize your psyche with a bunch of inane bullshit like insincere compliments, netspeak or the tendency to agree with everything you say.

-I'm not really interested in using this profile for "dating" so I don't particularly give a shit what you look like.

-If we are more than 80% enemy feel free to look at my "Unacceptable Answers" and get in touch to attack my views. Adversaries keep life interesting, yes?

▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿▒▒̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿̿

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ambalamps29

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