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48 Brooklyn, NY Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:50pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Esperanto (Okay), Hindi (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Stand up guy, slightly bent, always straight. Will always be the one who has his arms outstretched with hands always open but not for a handout. Strong shoulders, feet always ready to move, not run away. The one who will listen, never going to judge what you have to say. Will banter not argue unless arguing is called for. The guy old women ask to help them across the street. It happens more often than you think. Respects why, but always asks how (and sometimes who and when as well).

Looking for a partner to slow dance with, to music that only the two of us can hear.

New words
Sapiosexual. Intelligence is the most attractive quality a person can possess (to me, anyway). The expression, "What's the point of sleeping with someone, if you can't roll over and talk to them afterward?" rings true. Engage the brain and you encourage the heart, and for those old Shakespearean types, the spleen.

Why is there such an overuse of "like"? If everything is "like" something else, then what is it really? Perhaps trying the sentence without "like" makes something EXACTLY what it is.

Far from a grammar-nazi. More of a man who believes in saying what you mean.

Was on the subway recently when all of a sudden, the doors opened and in whoosed screaming, overloud, glorious, swearing, cussing, happy, incredible teenagers. The train hunkered down in preparation of their onslaught. They made me feel amazed and happy in this sea of unbridled joy. How wonderful it was, this ocean of incredible boisterousness. Just unafraid and unabashed of itself and its right to exist. Who were these amazing people that were not so nearly formed, yet gave the sense of complete purpose? West 4th Street came too soon and left them all behind. Wasn't long enough to be buffeted along in that awesome exuberance.

Some people complain about the mundane. Yet how can we appreciate the fantastic, if we never experience the ordinary? The thrill-seekers amaze me, going from high-to-high. What do they do on their nights off? It's so simple to sit still and watch the world. Yet, so few do. Are they afraid of missing something if they look the other way? Buddha said that if you sit in one place long enough, the entire world will pass in front of you. I don't advocate sitting still, movement is a blessing, yet, sometimes, absolute stillness works magic too.

Why don't we use the word "whimsy" any more? We should bring it back. Can't remember the last time anyone mentioned being whimsical as being an important aspect of our lives. Why is that? Words like wit, whimsy (ahem), wonder, happiness, worth. Celebratory and yet, have so much caught up in experience. Whirlygig, why don't we use that word in conversation any more?

Was on the subway today (seems to be the start of most good stories in NYC). There was this couple, he had a suitcase, and a carry-on bag. She had the look of failed stoicism on her face. The more she tried, the more she cried, the more she simply wept. Wondered when they'd see each other again? How long had they been together? Have taken my share of lovers and friends to the airport. Have waited expectantly at the gate for them to get off the plane. There's an expression that we take lovers to airports, and friends we see to the curb. Is that true? It isn't my expression, I'm the ilk that thinks a goodbye is worth saying at the last moment, not tempered by the affection.

Was walking home from work over the Brooklyn Bridge. There was this older couple walking up ahead. They were walking hand-in-hand. No hurry, their own pace. The woman let go of the man's hand for a moment and walked ahead of him. They had reached the midpoint (if you've ever walked over the Brooklyn Bridge you know the part, where the view is better than the other parts of the walk, although all of them are pretty spectacular). The man caught up with her a few seconds later. Passing them, I overheard their conversation:

Man: Why did you let go of my hand? (catching up to her as she stood at the railing looking at the view with the wind blustering, making her eyes tear).
Woman: Because I wanted to know what it felt like to have you want to come hold it again.

How lucky can two people be?

Best thing I've heard, so far
"I never told you I loved you, you never taught me how."

Truest thing heard so far
"I think poverty is man made, it is not given by god."
--Ela Bhatt

Living in today
Don't understand people who can't let go of the past so much so that it robs them of their future. Met so many people who shudder to meet someone in real life. They hide behind false emails and spurious phone numbers and hope that they are completely sure before making a commitment. There is a Buddhist expression that goes, "Every time I open my eyes in the morning, I have accomplished half my day." Commit to something and have some faith in the future, regardless of what the past has shown you.

Smiling at strangers on the subway
Why don't we smile at each other more? When did it become standard practice to stare off into the middle distance on the subway? Why is eye contact akin to stalking and grounds for macing someone or a dirty stare? Raised that a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. Tell my daughter this all the time and she is astounded how easy it is to talk to practically anyone.

Giving back
Volunteering teaching ESL to absolutely awesome adults who would put anyone to shame with their incredibly tenacious belief that everything is possible. Completely beaming any time after one of those classes knowing I get more from them than I could ever give.


Are we all a little too paranoid about things?

Profile Length
Would rather read about a woman because she can tell me about herself in words than one or two sentences that leave me wondering who she is. Should be the same way for a man. The complaint being that men can't talk, what about one who can? Brevity may be the soul of wit, I just wonder if wit had anything interesting to say?

Nerds and Jocks
Knowing this is true:

Jocks may have ruled high school. Geeks have ruled everything else since. Exercising my inner jock and comfortable with my ulterior nerd.

Being courted by bots
I hear that women get all sorts of one-line emails, this is the one I received recently, and honestly, it's pretty indicative of what I get, not sure if other men do:

hello dear nice to meet you here i will be happy to know you more if you dont mind we could chat on skype or whatsup

Believe it or not, that is a real email I received. Women think it's tough with the one-line "nice insert body part here" emails, how do you react to something like this?

Women and men
* gender equality and that equal work, means equal pay
* opening doors
* putting notes in your lunch (perhaps even delivering it sometimes)
* standing aside to let you go first
* walking on the outside part of the sidewalk closest to the street (look it up, it used to be important)
* offering to pay for meals
* bringing flowers for no apparent reason
* old-fashioned, gentleman-like behavior
* romance, and doing things for the other person for no other reason than you want to and that you can actually help when it's not always required
* having that "look" from across a room and knowing exactly what it means because you know each other well enough to have shared secrets
* anticipating getting you alone, because that's the best part of my day
* shared interests
* sandwich night
* you can make things better because you should
* being intellectually curious (ABC=Always Be Curious)
* love at second sight. Have you heard of this concept?
* that chivalry doesn't mean that only men give up their seats on the subway? What happened to equality?
* the efficacy of honesty

What do you believe?

Conversation and current events
* Please be able to have a conversation and know what's going on in the world. It's important. We all live here.

* Does anyone else get through the weekly issue of the Economist? Never finish the current one before the next one shows up. It can't just be me. Is it written for speed-readers or people who can grasp socio-econo-political nuances through osmosis? Do they sleep with it under their pillow?

Why does height matter in a relationship? Who made that a "thing"? Some of the most powerful men in history have been with women taller than themselves. Have we progressed no further in evolution than to believe outdated stereotypes? Don't we all eventually want to look IN to each other's eyes, not strain our necks looking at the bottom of the other's chin? It's like the age criteria. If that is an issue, perhaps the priorities are more superficial than they need to be.

Well, can any of your neighbors tell, Kate, I'll ask them?
Why do many men feel this way trying to tell women how they feel?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
How many of us wonder that every day?

Walking, learning, laughing as often as possible. Exploring.

Massages and cooking (not at the same time)
Using my massage therapy certificate on friends (they never complain about a free massage), after a good home-cooked meal (again, because of too many years of cooking classes).

Looking for the better way to make English muffins from scratch. I'm always up for suggestions and recipes.

Baking at 2am when I can't sleep. Especially pignoli nut cookies with almond paste. Making most things from scratch because dammit, it's worth doing.

Admitting things
* I do like conversation.
* I do as I say, say as I do.
* Half-assed attempts at things are not for me. If I'm going to fail at something, I prefer to fail full-assed.

Tilting at windmills because I'd rather be wrong for all the right reasons.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
* Being early.
* Being honest.
* Spelling.
* Knowing the answers to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me".
* Finding NPR on the dial no matter what city I'm in at the moment. (apparently, a lot of men put NPR on their profile, if they do, how come I hear there are so many men who send one-line messages?)
* Singing off key.
* Dancing slightly akimbo.

Giving compliments because they're deserved.

Telling someone when they're not entirely correct. Listening to someone tell me when I'm completely wrong, and accepting their point of view.

Admitting I don't do trendy. No, I've never had a cronut, I'm sure it's sugary heaven, didn't feel like waiting on line or the hype. I did wait on line one time for 5+ hours for a hug from Amma. That was better than any pastry. Hugs will always win over pastries for me.

Knowing when I'm wrong. Which happens quite often.

Admitting that it's actually okay to stay in on a Friday night. Ben & Jerry's and Netflix never fail me. These days, sometimes, even Netflix is leaving me wanting. Thank gods for Ben & Jerry's.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
* My beard (yes, I have one, salt and pepper, it's decidedly there) and that it (my face) smells like this stuff:
* My new earrings my 10-year-old made for me for Father's Day (even if they were 7 months late). I love kids' priorities
* My lack of color vision (I mention this in case I show up wearing something mismatched, although, I probably had help and too much advice)
* I laugh a lot and like anyone who does the same. Don't take myself very seriously, unless we are discussing serious topics. In that case, let's be serious until we don't have to be (serious) any more (written in a serious tone. Hope you can tell).

My ability to talk to strangers and have them talking to me within moments and have anyone who hasn't seen me introduce myself to them moments before, think, I've known said strangers for years.

Staying up late, when necessary, or if there's an amazing conversation to be had, which is always welcome. Phone calls after 10pm are fine, to have that conversation, you're not interrupting my beauty sleep.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This list used to be quite long. The one below is the short version. How about you ask me and we can talk about it? I think it's easier that way. There's a lot to enjoy of others' visions on film.

* Where God Left His Shoes
* Better Than Chocolate
* When Night Is Falling
* The Wrestler
* Barfly
* Gangs of Wasseypur (1 and 2)
* Well Done, Abba
* Lemon Tree
* The Siege
* The God Who Wasn't There (how come they don't make movies with amazing dialogue any more?)
* Ruby Sparks, what an awesome premise. Imagine if we could will a partner as exactly as we wanted from our imaginations into reality? What would happen if we got exactly who we wanted? Then what do we do? Would we be bored? Would it be enough? Is it unseemly to want to find what we want?
* Sidney Poitier's character's speech to his father in "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner"
* Salaam Bombay
* Sammy and Rosie Get Laid
* My Beautiful Laundrette
* Deepa Mehta's series (if you've never seen or heard of them, please look them up)

Another shortened list. However, I read. I hope you do as well. Doesn't matter what, just that you have the curiosity to want to know. Cereal boxes do count.

* Recently, an Indian author kick, almost anything I can find from Tagore to Amullya Malladi (if you are Indian, I encourage you to read either Mango Season or Serving Crazy With Curry, they WILL resonate better than The Namesake, which, let's face it, if you're Indian EVERYONE expects that you've read it and wants your opinion)
* Rohinton Mistry
* Chinua Achebe (absolutely anything by this amazing writer)
* Douglas Adams (I miss him)
* Leo Buscaglia
* Anita Brookner
* Charles Bukowski
* ee cummings
* John LeCarre
* Christopher Moore
* Pablo Neruda
* David Sedaris
* William Shakespeare's Lear or Troilus and Cressida or Twelfth Night or Henry V
* Shel Silverstein (anything at all)
* Scott Sommer
* John Updike
* Don Winslow
* Roger Zelazney

50 Shades of Gray put me to sleep. Reality is so much better.

The list is longer than this. In all things, I strive to watch and read things that move me. Ask anything, I'm always ready to answer.

* The Wire (poor Snotboogie)
* Little Mosque on the Prairie (trust me, if you can find this, it's worth it, from the CBC)
* Louie CK
* Corner Gas (If you can find this from the CBC in Canada (eh), I would wholeheartedly recommend it, just don't expect a laugh track and expect good writing and humor))
* Nurse Jackie
* Breaking Bad
* R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet (silly fun)
* Rockford Files
* Top Gear (UK or US versions, seriously stupid car show)
* HR Puffin Stuff
* The Black Adder, well, anything Rowan Atkinson
* Man Down
* Fresh Meat
* Hill Street Blues
* Coupling
* Bluestone 42
* Rev

Music is a passion like reading. I've included a shorter list than was here previously. I'll listen to anything and will probably listen to it a second time because, well, it's good.

* Barfi - Main Kya Karoon (I can sing that all day long)
* Michael Franks
* Plastique Bertrand
* Khaled
* Cheb Mami
* Tom Waits (man, that voice is mesmerizing)
* Tears for Fears (the first album)
* Spandau Ballet
* David Gray
* Annie Lennox
* Kate Bush
* Lily Allen (swan song for anyone who has something to say to an ex, and not in a nice way from "It's not me, it's you")
* Joan Osborne
* Jazz Loft project (
* anything from the 80s (and not afraid to admit it)
* Nina Simone (who can't use some sugar?)
* Dexy's Midnight Runners
* Prefab Sprout (these last two are my favorites, because of the lyrics)
* Talking Heads, "This must be the place" (Naive version)

Food: I practice the point-and-pray method of eating. What did you have in mind? I have no allergies or dislikes. Food is not fuel, it's to be enjoyed and shared.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
* My daughter (decidedly not a thing for those semantic types out there, perhaps the junior editor will someday fix the "things" to something a bit more forgiving)
* Humor PLEASE know how to laugh, don't worry about telling a joke, but at least crack yourself up telling one even if it's a bad joke. Just not one at the expense of someone else's feelings
* empathy
* Intellect
* Books (all of them), I DO want to know what you've been reading and why you find it interesting
* Pen or pencil, or whatever is available (for crosswords as well), hell, I've been known to use crayon in a pinch
* Paper
* My ability to count.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Holding my daughter's hands (these days, when she lets me). Amazes me how beautiful and completely mesmerizing they are.

How come more people don't know the smell of Chandrika? Just brings back childhood?

How come people stand in the subway doors or push their way on as soon as they open? Why don't people take off their backpacks when they get on the train? Yes, I'm that guy, he stands aside, takes off his bag, and offers you his seat.

How to teach my daughter to have manners even when others don't.

Why so many women put that disclaimer their profiles? I'm guessing the terms of service is something to be ignored?

How come so many women put down "The Shawshank Redemption" as one of their favorite movies? It's violent, shows a lot male brutality, and in general isn't very uplifting when taken as a whole. I'd very much appreciate if anyone would explain it to me. I'm actually very curious.

Wondering why sports and music stars get more respect than academics? Having a daughter, this is very relevant that kids are expected to "stay in school" but sold on the idea of a quick fortune by their idols. I think we need better idols.

How come this conversation makes sense to anyone, (overheard the other day between two women standing on the subway platform) "I just can't keep track of which is my yoga mat and which is my pilates mat."??? They were the same mat in the same color. Why were two necessary? I'm sure there is an explanation, I'm certain, I'll never know what it is.

When did people start saying "sorry" for everything? I thought, if you do something unintentionally, you say, "excuse me". If you do something on purpose to someone else and want to express regret for causing them harm, you say, "I'm sorry". Yet, all I hear no matter what the situation, is, "sorry" for everything. I think it loses its power to redeem ourselves. Perhaps we have forgotten what heartfelt regret means and just apologize regardless of the slight, intentional or not.

How is a cassoulet any different than fancy disco fries?

Why do so many people insist on living their lives through their phones rather than living? I see it everywhere. People are at something incredible and instead of enjoying it, are taking pictures or videos and blogging/sharing/pasting it on their (pick the social poison of your choice) about it. Wouldn't it be better to experience the moment rather than live through posterity? Perhaps this explains the rise of facebook. Have we all become a society of invitational voyeurism?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why do so many people have homonym issues? They're right there for anyone to see, not mine, theirs.

Isn't "short-term dating" the same as a series of one-night stands? At least know you're here to meet someone for longer than dinner.

Once you answer all 3783 OkCupid questions, how come there's no prize? (they added a question, perhaps it was time)

Why do the instructions on a package of Ginsu knives say, "Keep out of children"?

When did corny become passe?

Why only 6 things?

The lyric, Didn't give you minutes, not even moments. and how most of us live it.

Since I'm on lyrics, how come we don't know this to be absolutely true without someone having written it down, Oh, but to shine like Joan of Arc, you must be prepared to burn?

At what point we stop thinking we know what we want and finally admit, we're mostly just winging it?

Love letters never sent. Heartfelt emotions that mean the world when written that are never received in the same vein. Things left unsaid as most people die faster than it takes to turn over a pancake.

Look around, imagine what can/should/would/might/could be and think, huh, so, that's what it's about.

Making lists of people I should call and then wonder if I should and then getting annoyed because they haven't called me.
** I make those calls now, and plenty more, no one should be forgotten, make the calls that you meant to make in life, it's vitally important that people should matter more than ideas.** Every single person is more important than an ocean of ideas.

The amazing sound is a child's laugh, and how irrepressibly infectious it is.

How come, that when we think of flying a kite we just don't leave work and do it? I do. On a regular basis? As often as possible. Ever fly a kite in the rain? Challenging, but can be done. Or in the snow. Again, challenging, but can be done.

How absolutely under-rated knock-knock jokes are.

The sound of silence, which doesn't invade my life very often (thankfully), but I think about it.

Knowing that a stranger is just a friend who I haven't met yet. And as corny as it sounds, putting that into action.

Whether to walk home or take the subway (amazing what you discover walking in the City)? The walking usually wins out.

Probably more than this box can contain. Might be corny, all absolutely true.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Morris Dancing

Otherwise, for those that don't believe in Morris Dancing anymore (it's a mystery to me how you can't):

* Writing, the same as breathing
* Reading
* Dancing (when the spirit moves and quite possibly the music (these days, even without the music), just wish the hips would obey and follow)). Doesn't even have to be in public, wouldn't mind someone to do it with me more often.
* Walking (one step, two steps, three steps, pretty soon, you're amazed to be 3 steps further along than when you started)
* Exploring (see walking)
* Smiling at strangers (incredible how much that works)
* Talking to tourists and finding out where they're from and what they love about the City. Finding out about them.
* Getting absolutely and completely and gloriously lost.
* Gawking skyward and hoping for a blackout so I can see the stars more clearly
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Being named "chief of the fugawees" by the Havasupai tribe I lived with a long time ago.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
* You have actually read this far
* Have a sense of humor
* Like to talk
* That not reading the New Yorker, or at least finding it boring, is actually okay to admit

Your idea of this process doesn't involve emailing a few times, perhaps texting, a date, and then disappearing. What exactly is the process? What are the protocols? I'm here to meet someone without the obfuscation and the hiding behind dead-drop emails and blocked phone numbers. I share who I am, I'm looking for someone equally willing to do the same. I'll only chase what I'm invited to chase. A principle I live by is, I never go to a party to which I'm not invited. If you'd like to be pursued, let a fella' know you're interested.

Ever try to disprove a negative? If a guy shares information about himself, he's pushy. If he doesn't share it quickly enough, he's a player and hiding something. Some one must realize that the playing field is not level.

* You like holding hands more often than you don't
* You like kissing, regardless of the context, but only after getting to know the person
* Don't believe kissing is wrong

42 (you know what this means, or at least be curious enough to find out)

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