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32 M Jersey City, NJ

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:21am
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Does it matter? Aren't we window shopping?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Finding the balance between laziness and ambition while working in the city.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Ocular patdowns. Trivia. Intellectual conversations. Observational humor. Making you laugh at yourself. Myself. Us. Bad jokes. Great stories. Big words. Idioms. Cliches. Puns. Grammar. Modesty. Humility. Games. Cards. Board games. Jenga. Tech stuff. Building stuff. Fixing stuff. Outdoor stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People think I'm shy and standoffish. I'm really just figuring you out and gauging if you can handle me. I have zero desire to open up to a complete stranger (mutual friend, randoms). Subsequently I'm also gauging whether or not I want to even bother with you. I have a strong and confident personality and if I see it might be an issue then I will continue to be quiet. I don't need drama. I don't make any and I surely don't need yours. After a few discussions I ultimately get "you are not at all what I thought." 99% of the time it's said with a surprised grin and a slight side eye. The universal sign for intrigue.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ferris Buellers Day Off, The Big Lebowski, The 5th Element, Closer, The Devils Rejects, Donnie Brasco, Goodfellas, Casino, Breaking Bad, Sopranos, Banshee, Futurama, South Park, Bobs Burgers, The Life and Times of Tim, Seinfeld, Always Sunny. House Hunters International (you can guess why). Jay-Z, Fabolous, anything Brooklyn, Hip Hop, Rap, R&B, Nine Inch Nails, Rock, Classic Rock, Slightly Stoopid, west coast reggae shit.

I like to cook and eat healthy. Love a good restaurant. Portuguese is probably my favorite and Thai a close second. I'd like to take town Adam Platts 101.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friends & Family
Peanut Butter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What the fuck I want out of life. All the shit I should be doing but I'm not.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In. Out. About. Relaxing. Friends. Family. Lake. Beach. Bars. Restaurants. Bowling. Arcade. Shows. Everywhere. Nowhere.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–39
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like the humor of George Carlin, Larry David, and Louis CK. You can discuss Carlin topics or the banality of David's and still walk a mile like Louie. You like to learn. You're objective. Confident. Smart. Witty.

Sarcasm, unless really well played, isn't wit. If I wanted to hangout with a 13 year old I'd go hangout with my nephew. If sarcasm is one of your "things you cannot live without" please don't message me. Or if you said something like "sarcasm is my second language" or even better "sarcasm I put that shit on everything" you should probably date a teenager. You're probably not very good at it. Properly played sarcasm makes you think "was that sarcastic or was that honest?"