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37 Melbourne, Australia Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Atheism and it’s important
English, French (Somewhat), Finnish (Somewhat), Latin (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a person, and I like people.

Oh, you want more? Well... if a slab of text is too much, let the eye drift down to the bullet points if you like.

At base I'm... hmm. Put it this way - I look like a big burly guy, no? There are photos of me riding a bike in lycra, lifting weights in extremely attractive gym attire and so on. But I'm not really terribly sporty. The glasses are a clue - I'm more of a softy. So I'm an intellectual brute. Or an athletic aesthete.

Let's try another way - I'm a professional permaculture designer, tend to vote for the Greens and used to live in a cohousing community. But unlike most permies I'm an ethical omnivore... actually, essentially a carnivore really. I eat to fuel my training, because that's important to me.

One of my primary foci as a designer is integrated animal systems in urban agriculture with perennial food plants. At the same time, seeing boxes of annual vegies in wicking beds makes me want to weep - aesthetics is important to me, as is using permaculture to enrich the soil, not just providing vegies for minimal effort.

All of which is to say... like everyone, I'm complex and contradictory, but do my best to be as simple, lighthearted and joyful as possible. I try to be me as much as I possibly can.

I point this out as it may be more important to some people in this context - I generally identify as non-monogamous, or polyamorous. As of this writing though, in practical terms I've never been in a sexual relationship with more than one person simultaneously. It just hasn't worked out that way. One day it probably will, but it's not really the point. I've certainly been in love with more than one person at once, and will be again. If you have a moment, Wendy-O-Matik and her idea of 'Radical Love' captures some of my position here:

If you'd prefer some pigeon-holes:
I'm a cyclist who races (track sprint - really really fast) but not professionally;
I'm a permaculture designer;
I'm a philosopher;
I'm polyamorous;
I'm an (un)published writer;
I'm a powerlifter.

I appear to be a very p-person. And there were no bullet points, just a list. I hope this is not traumatic for anybody.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm currently setting myself up as a practising professional permaculturalisteriserer(tm) (that is to say, a permaculture design consultancy) along with delivering lovely fresh almond milk to cafes and fancy-pants hipster health food shops.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

aPPearing pretentious, perhaps.

Oh, and cooking - I make a fantastic lemon tart. And, you know, other things. Pecan pies and parfaits, probably.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books? Well, authors:
Terry Pratchett
Douglas Adams
Jeanette Winterson (She's simply magical with the English Language. And writes so beautifully about love and passion.)
Edgar Allan Poe
Richard Dawkins (More his older, more sciencey, less polemic stuff)
Stephen Hawking
David Lewis
Kurt Vonnegut
Oscar Wilde
Almost anyone else, at least once.

Amanda Palmer (The Art of Asking is brilliant) and Henry Rollins, as the junction between text and music.

Dresden Dolls, Kaki King, Ani DiFranco, SoaD, Jacques Brel, Tool, Bach... Lamb/Lou Rhodes, Beethoven, The Knife/Fever Ray, Têtes Raides, Laura Marling... all sorts of stuff.

Everything that I cook! I tend towards Paleo/Primal HFLC, but just because it suits my body and training style. I'm pretty much an (ethical - issues around food production are important to me) obligate carnivore within a framework of Intermittent Fasting.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
'Never'? Don't know what I'll be like when I'm 90, and I doubt anything'd hold for when I was 9, either. And really, like everyone I can do without almost anything except the most banal. I get myself in trouble, frequently, with this sort of talk. I once drew up (on request) a needs/wants list, and got in trouble when the only thing in the 'needs' column was 'You'. I got in even more trouble when I admitted that even that wasn't strictly true; I might not like it but sure, I could live on my own if need be. After all, I've done it before. As it so happens, I'm doing it again. Forewarned is fore-armed...

-design/systems thinking
-intelligent others
-somewhere to cook
-somehow and somewhen to write
-my bike
-things to pick up and put back down again
-sensuality. I love giving massages... running my fingers lightly over skin (for hours... and hours... and hours.) I don't mind receiving those, but not as much as doing it. Spooning naked. Anything involving naked contact actually, sexual or otherwise. That said though, you could probably guess my favourite sexual activity just from that... did you need to know that? Possibly not, at least not until you did. I figure if you're actually reading all this, you'd probably read my answers to at least a reasonable number of questions, and you'd find it out there anyway.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I like to think about stuff, really. That's basically what being a philosopher means (though I do have a degree in Philosophy, that's a trailing indicator, not a leading one.) It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm any good at it (though of course I think I am.)

Ethical food production;
Collapse theories and long-term human flourishing;
Child-raising and Educational Philosophy (Attachment theory, Home Education, John Holt, Trust and Empathy);
Astronomy, Astrophysics and Chaos Theory;
Epistemology (Especially contextualism);
Political Philosophy/Rights Theory;
Cycling, lifting, nutrition and fitness;
Those close to me;
Those mysterious entities who aren't close to me (especially if I'd like them to be!);
Gender Identity, sexuality and Feminism;
Existentialism and neurobiology;
How to communicate to people that I'd like to communicate with them without saying things like "You know, I'd like to communicate with you."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Rehearsing my pickup line... "I hope I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection."

If you know the rejoinder then we are clearly already married, and our nuptials shall be announced the moment you change your name.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I wonder if people are going to read this and think that I'm both pretentious for saying that I'm a philosopher, and a meathead for saying that I lift heavy weights. I wish one could insert a poll to ascertain these things...

Current results: No - 0; Yes - 0; Other - 1. Further research is called for.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
First thing: If you're a powerlifter or other strength-focussed female - please message. You're a tremendously rare individual, especially on okc. Otherwise...

Feel free! I like chatting to different people, and I like meeting new people, too. I'm looking for connections - people with whom to be lovers, friends, gym/cycling buddies... and everything else in between and besides and around. Whatever suits that particular relationship between the two people we are with each other.

I know, I know, it's a 'dating' site, but who on Earth knows whether or not they want to date someone based upon a photo or two and a few slabs of text? The match score at least is helpful I guess. While I'm happy to just randomly chat, I'm mostly interested in actually meeting people.

I also realise that this is an awful lot of text - and that's kinda deliberate really; if you don't like reading then I may not be for you. To make things easier (although it's still buried in the midst of a wall of text... oh well) and in order to help Autonomouse carry out a rigorous SKIENCE! experiment, here's a handy little message template:

Dear amoramour,
I am intrigued greatly by the following:
< insert one intriguing thing here > and;
< insert a second intriguing thing here >.
Meet me for hot chocolate/dinner/cider?
< Insert your name here >

In the paraphrased words of unexpectedly215: We're both grownups on a dating site, each looking for company, distraction, or edification - whatever that might mean for either of us. Even if we don't want to rip off each other's clothes or elope (and maybe even if we do), it's the chance to live together for a moment (to moment to moment to moment...) that makes OKC worthwhile. For however long we might intertwine, let's see if we click and enthusiastically start from there. Please note that 'casual sex' up there doesn't really refer to one-night stands or the like - I need some sort of a connection. Just doesn't have to be in the context of a 'Serious Relationship' (tm)

So if we have a match percentage over 80% or under 30%, send me a message. We'll presumably at least have something to chat about. If it's between 30% and 80%... well, send me a message anyway if you happen to have something you want to say, or have an inspired idea that we might click.

Does that make me a slut? Or a mutt? Or something?

I hope so.

I do thank you for reading this far. Iff you didn't: there may be a test.