Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


55 Boulder, CO Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 39–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:48am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Other, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Dislikes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've had my profile off for a long time and decided to open it up again. I am *very* interested in your feedback on my profile. I put a lot into it, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it will do what I want it to do, which is to attract a like-minded mate. Please feel free to write with your opinions even if you don't want to date me. I'd really appreciate it.

I’m an Odd Mix to Match

Or so it seems. And amidst all usual types of dating profiles this is going to seem a bit serious. So be it. I want a life mate (or maybe 2, though highly unlikely). I am equally open to a woman or a man as a life mate if we are really a fit for each other. I often date people 10 years younger, but only a couple of years older, usually.

Feedback requested that I put the deal breakers at the top, so here they are: I am not interested in FWB, playing around or "exploring." I did that in my 20's and early 30's. It's fine if that's where you are. Everyone should get to do that, even if it's in your mid-50's after 30 years of marriage. That just would not be compatible with me. I am basically monogamous and wanting a dating relationship that has long-term potential.

I've also been asked to move this to the top to save you some time: Note that dogs and children living with you are deal breakers. So is any obsession with sports. By obsession, well, I am pretty much not interested in anyone who has to have a TV on in the house to watch any sports at any time. If you want to go play outside, that's fine. :) I would if I could, but I am unable to join the physical outside games, thank you.

I live with chronic pain & have since I was 11 years old. Sadly, the things most people do to keep fit sometimes causes me unbearable pain that lasts for days - including yoga, massage and swimming. I am able to lose weight, but right now, I'm far from my best weight. I have a lot of food sensitivities & it's been a long road to figure out what is okay for me. Still working on it. I'm determined, but I do get discouraged. I've worked hard on this and some of my best efforts backfired terribly.

In addition I will NOT reply to messages that are just "Hi, how are you?" or "Whazzup?" I am seeking someone very verbal, so please demonstrate that in your message.

I tend to date other straight A students. I am a Morning Person (tm).

We may be a fit if you are into:

Connection - this is the most important thing and there are no words to describe it. I'll try anyway. It is a sense of oneness with yourself, and therefore with "others." Some people call it spiritual, but I don't think there is such a thing as a "spirit" to have a "ual." :) It may be felt in meditation, sex, play, nature, music, alone or with others. It is essentially the same as sub-space or a meditative state. You know if you've been there, and you know if you know how to be there anytime you wish.

Conversation/Communication - the way to my body is through my mind and any partner of mine needs to thrive on a significant volume of in-person, phone, text and email communication. Words are my first Love Language. I prefer intelligence, mostly straight A students, though some intelligent people didn't like school, and they count, too.

Openness/Fearlessness - if privacy is a huge issue for you, move along, I am not the one you want. If, however, you are so comfortable with yourself, your life, your choices, that almost anyone can say or repeat or share almost anything you've ever said or done, welcome. I don't mean that you would walk up to someone's vanilla employer and out them. What I do mean is that you would think of yourself as mostly an open book. I'm an ENFP/J on the Meyers-Briggs profile

Truth is a piece of all of the above, as well. I mean truth in a pretty deep sense. Go read the "Universal Beliefs" download at Byron Katie's site, to see what I mean. Not one of those "universal beliefs" is true. There are videos and other stuff there that may give you a sense of what I'm talking about.

Here is a smattering of the types of things I enjoy. If you are into these things, you might be into me:

Science fiction - my favorites include Robert A. Heinlein, Spider Robinson, Jim Butcher, Orson Scott Card, Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, Lord of the Rings and my top favorite of all time is still Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, long may he live.

Things Medieval or Renaissance - I don't go to the fairs because I don't much enjoy lots of people doing lots of different things in a large group setting, but I've had people take one look at me and know that I at least knew what SCA was. Although I've never been a member, I have very much enjoyed some of their ... err... members.

School - yes, that's right s - c - h - o - o- l. This is the group setting I love the most. Student or teacher, either way. And here, I don't care how big the group is. They are all focused on the same thing and somehow I am far more comfortable with this than with faires and cons. I am working on a doctorate in education. I count off for poor spelling and poor grammar, though I make allowances for typos and British spellings and acronyms. (I am a group elsewhere called People for the Ethical Treatment of Pronouns. It's a hoot. )

Healthy Food and other generally healthy practices. Paleo diet is not among the choices. I chose "Mostly vegetarian" some time ago and I've left it up because it still pretty much fits, although I find that in an effort to avoid grains and potato-based foods, I am snacking on meats more than I ever have before.

My definition of food is anything that I can pick up and eat where it grew. Yes, I eat fish, sometimes meat, and bacon is a category on its own, but mostly I love salads.

I'm Boulder Granola boys & girls. Love it or leave it. I'm a child of the 60's and 70's and still kind of a hippie at heart. I am less mainstream even than people who are used to thinking they are not very mainstream. I don't watch TV. I don't read or listen to news. I don't believe a lot of the cultural myths that even intelligent people haven't thought to question.
Singing - I enjoy dating geeks who play guitar so I can sing with them. Jethro Tull, Moody Blues, Joni Mitchell, etc.
Movies - Contact, Dangerous Beauty, Secretary, Harry Potter, Princess Bride.

Thank you for reading this far. Maybe there is a fit here somewhere.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Teaching, counseling, writing. I have written articles for pay that were published on the internet & published one book.

Update: I'm working on a doctorate in education and still questioning doing it. :) Update to the update: I finished all the class work and decided it wasn't going to get me where I was going, so I stopped there.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
School, meditation, teaching, learning, being willing to talk, listen and make love.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile or my laugh. Sometimes, my openness about things most people won't talk about.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

I usually read several books at once.

"The User Illusion: Cutting Consciousness Down to Size," by Tor Norretranders. "Kabbalah: A Love Story," by Lawrence Kushner. I nearly moved to Berkeley, just to see if I could take some classes with the author.

Stumbling On Happiness by Daniel Gilbert, On Being Certain by Robert Burton, Very Hard Choices by Spider Robinson.

Translucent Revolution by Arjuna Ardagh, By Any Other Name by Spider Robinson, ALL Spider Robinson. Harry Potter, and re-reading Hitchhiker's Guide to laugh. Love Natalie Goldberg. ACIM. Kabbalistic Healing by Jason Shulman.

If I could recommend a few books for someone who is interested in me, they would be:

Loving What Is by Byron Katie
I Need Your Love - Is That True? by Byron Katie
Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Dear Lover by David Deida


I'll watch a movie if it's inspiring. "Contact," "Dangerous Beauty," "Dead Poet's Society," "Sister Act," "Secretary," and "Bliss".


Jethro Tull, Ian Anderson solo, Joni Mitchell, Shawn Phillips (OMG his hair!) Moody Blues, Indigo Girls, early Elton John, folk, folk rock, British folk, close vocal harmonies like Gregorian chants, kirtan and such.

Basically, kirtan, classic rock, folk, popular classical music, especially piano.

And then another whole side of music, such as Bloodhound Gang (The Bad Touch,) NIN (Closer,) Frank Zappa, Weird Al Yankovic, Oscar Brand.


Raw living food - fruits, nuts, vegetables if I'm being good. I used to love LaMadeleine's almond croissants. I still indulge in sushi.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I can do without most things I thought I couldn't do without.

So, instead:

4 things will keep me up late at night because they energize me:

and Sex
Not necessarily in that order

But, again, I can actually do without all of them, and have.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What is true and what isn't, sorting these out for myself. It's amazing what perceptual shifts can occur from this simple question: "Is it true?" or "Who would you be without that story?"

I also wonder why anyone can't or won't answer those questions. Answering them has led to some of the most freeing experiences I've ever had.

I've been taking the idea that "I am a person who . . . " and investigating whether that is really true or not.


What to do next.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
With friends, talking or singing or alone in my bed with a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not a very private person - what do you want to know?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know that the world is a safe place.

Connecting with others is why you get out of bed in the morning.

You meditate.

You have long hair. (It's optional, but I really love long hair on a man.)

You love to talk (especially in bed.)

You have Celtic or medieval or Dominant leanings *and* spirituality or philosophical interests that seem to relate to mine above.

You enjoy learning and teaching.

You had a 3.5 to 4.0 GPA in school.

You hold a master's or doctorate or want to or are working on those.

Basically, you have to attract my mind before you have a chance with my body.

(Prefer men with no parenting responsibilities, usually, and no long distance relationships.)