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31 Oakland, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 25, 2014
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Mostly vegan
Other, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi. I'm Cassidy.

I get happy-hormones (!) doing things like learning about the bay area, bike riding for transportation, kundalini yoga and iconoclastic actions. Schedule tetris turns me on...until it doesn't. I love playing with games like tarot and astrology for therapeutic, theatrical and political purposes.

I identify as genderqueer. At this time in my life it's not a central part of my identity, but it's there. I use the pronouns he/him/his. I'm kinda hairy--generally something seen as masculine, probably since cissexual guys like me tend to be more likely than many to grow hair. Like many of the Cockettes, I love my hair. There's a huge industry for "female" hair removal. Why? Why is long, lustrous head-hair generally seen as feminine, but hair on 98% of the rest of the body is masculine? A relatively short time ago, our species was all hairy.

I like questioning, redefining and inverting gender roles, but I don't believe they're a big constructed sham or a fixed identity that never changes. One might say that I'm "male-inclined."

I like calling myself queer since as an umbrella term it can build solidarity, but I also think specificity is helpful: I've mostly dated female-assigned folks and I'm mostly attracted to femme, female-assigned folks.

Speaking of umbrella terms, I am polyamorous in my dating orientation. I use poly as an umbrella term like queer or genderqueer. I have Good Crazy dreams of living in an elegant, mutually supportive system of friends, lovers, partners, allies and collaborators that lives and grows with its members.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm studying expressive arts therapy in order to create a career as a "life enrichment professional" (activities director) and therapist for elders with dementia, helping hold space for them to play, heal and grow.

A few years ago I was involved in some Portland burner communities (where I'm known as "Pink"). BM has a lot of bullshit (pun intended), but it helped springboard me out of the bible belt, so I'm appreciative. In burner contexts conversations with me often come around to my dream to bring Theatre of The Oppressed to the playa, which is already full of interactivity and unconscious privilege, so it's a good idea, yes? Who knows if I'll ever go back to BM. I just got back from Free Cascadia Witch Camp and may start organizing for it!

I've done some "straight" theatre. HA! But I don't think of myself as one of those social butterfly kind of theatre people--it's more like I use theatre to break out of my shell. It's pretty good for that.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Thinking on my feet, active listening, meeting people where they're at, spotting That Pink at the thrift store, noticing Cute Omens, washing dishes and occasional fists (or fist-sized organs) of genius.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my gentleness
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
psst...this is the easy conversation starter section! which I prefer to vague openers like, "hey, I like your outfit/hair/vibe...wanna bone?"

fiction: Starhawk's Fifth Sacred Thing, Butler's Parable of The Sower, July's No One Belongs Here More Than You, Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues, McCullers' The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter and Stamaty's MacDoodle Street.

nonfiction: Boal's Hamlet & The Baker's Son, Johnstone's Impro, Thomas' What Are Old People For? How Elders Will Save The World (interesting connection to 5th Sacred Thing), Serano's Whipping Girl and Matik's Redefining Our Relationships.

plays (which are both fiction and non-): Albee's The Zoo Story, Richardson's Gallows Humor, Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale & As You Like It, Parks' Venus, Bock's Swimming In The Shallows and Cruncleton's Down The Ol' Hole (a post-apocalyptic western in which I played a lost boy).

You might see me reading (aloud) while walking. I think it's part of that whole Sag>Gemini nodal type. Don't worry, I run into stuff but I get up again.

movies: The Leningrad Cowboys Go America for kitsch, The Cockettes for fantasia, The Horse Boy for courage, John Cameron Mitchell for tough love, The Holy Mountain for crazy shit, Waking Life for aesthetics, Me and You and Everyone We Know for cuteness and The Temple Builder for tao.

music (a sampling): saul williams, the flaming lips, nickel creek, charles mingus, joni mitchell, the be good tanyas, most electronic music (from crunchy to flowy), some pop music (especially at karaoke)....

tv: Whedon, Star Trek, The Guild, RuPaul's Drag Race, Vikings, the North American version of Being Human, The IT Crowd, Rachel Maddow, Doctor Who, Portlandia, Flight of The Conchords, It's The End of The World As We Know It and I Feel Fine, Chopped, Face Off

radio: This American Life; Democracy Now!, Mars Needs Podcasts, Radiohive, Reality Sandwich and KBOO

food: Tempeh! Root vegetables! Quinoa! Soup! Aïoli! Perhaps my diet will become less wintery as I transition out of the handsomely rugged northwest. I have a big sweet tooth and I'm working my way through dishes in THE VEGANOMICON.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
never is such a strong word. 6 things I use often: bike (Kimberly Swivel), bike helmet (because I like my brain), wallet (made from old seat-belts), phone (we have a love/hate relationship), tarot cards (The Collective Tarot), and a bath-robe (worn more than any other article of clothing)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Is it healthier to just let aging happen or to age on purpose? If it depends on context, then which contexts? What are the events or processes that happen when you stop being a child and become an adult--and again when you become an elder? Is elderhood different from or just a certain stage of adulthood?

I have a few theories on how the passage of time affects us very differently depending on how long we've been around. Do YOU want to swap theories? About aging or art or politics or food or or or?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Watching a movie with my client--I live at my client's apartment doing elder care three days a week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like most kinds of porn. The distinction between erotica and porn often feels like the distinction between spirituality and religion: arbitrary and subjective. It all feels more fluid to me than the secret boxes we create and/or find ourselves in.

I also plan to cover up my culturally appropriative tattoo.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to get together to play a game of Fiasco.

You live in or visit the bay area.

You want to talk about this question.