Hello. I am an introvert to the very core of my being, have come out the other side of social ineptitude, and your mother will love me. I'm no doe-eyed, agoraphobic wallflower, but if you don't read and are scared of your own company, we're probably not really going to -get- each other.

This does not mean that sitting at home and "curling up with a dvd" is my idea of a good Saturday night. There's a time and a place, sure, but there's also a big bad world out there.

I hold this apparently extinct belief in education for the sake of education, and it'd be nice to meet someone who understands this, and isn't riveted mindless pursuit of money. I'm a bleeding heart hippy-cynic at heart, and flashy, conspicuous wealth kinda makes me sick. I am uninspired by tax lawyers and share trading, but want someone who'll give me a run for my money and leave me eating their intellectual dust.

I like travelling by myself, and somehow end up in third world countries every so often. I like being able to look back on things and wonder how I ever survived them, or had the guts to start them in the first place. But you know. You can never have enough solo near death experiences. Being completely alone in the middle of somewhere you probably couldn't pinpoint on a map makes you deal with yourself in a way that not many other things do.

I don't have, and have never had, a "group" of friends. I can count on one hand the number of people that I really hold dear, and hold them close and dear I do. My friends don't really know each other, or well, and thinking about getting them in a room all together almost brings me to the brink of anxiety attack. This means birthday parties do not happen particularly well, and I fucking hate that people keep pestering me about a housewarming. NO.

Somehow I landed in what I thought would be my dream job, but now have a love/hate relationship with it, as with most things. My work has the capacity to do good things, and is tempered by the omnipresent parameters of pragmatism and politics. I find this incessantly irritating and sometimes physically repulsive, but deal with it as long as those are my sentiments. Maybe you know what I mean. And at the end of the day, it's nice to work with people who care about the bigger picture. Actually, it's nice to know people who understand that there is one.

I recently started volunteering too, and have back a bit of the fury that led me to sell the Green Left outside the Vic Market when I was 14. I lay my cards on the table younger than anyone I know, then grew up into the kind of boring adult that mutters ineloquently about swinging voters (ew) and other peoples' complete disinterest in the political. With a lot of gut instinct and passion, and varying degrees of coherence and articulation. The cards are a bit changed now, too. But you know. Tigers and stripes, etc.

Gritting my teeth and getting on with things. I'm not sure whether this is a good or bad thing, but it's allowed me to pull myself through some rather trying periods somewhat in tact.

I've used to have a bit of a knack for bringing my boss to the brink of heart attack with the lethal combination of customers and my acid tongue. Also, dropping plates.

I'm not sure that they do. I come in at a mere 155cm, and being physically noticable stopped being a major concern around the age of 15 when I grew out of being a teen goth wannabe. Ha.

I have pretty cool red and black glasses which I consider accessory enough to get away with wearing plain, understated clothing.

I am one of those people who always has at least one book with them, and sometimes get heart palpitations when having to choose which one it will be. If you don't read, we won't get along. Or, I won't like you.

I go through cycles of fantasy/sci fi, but my favourite authors are Atwood, Irving and Murakami. I love books that make me shiver and squirm. I have comprehensive lists of everything I've read in the last four or so years, and store boxes of books in various places, because I haven't yet accumulated enough bookshelves to house them all.

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Music: Different things, now. The same metal that I've been listening to for years. Sludgy, doomy, stonery things. "Pleasant" things like Massive Attack, Portishead, Goldfrapp. Also Iron Maiden, The Smiths, Ani, kinda love The Killers lately, too, which I never saw coming. And you know, things that make me cry.

I don't care if you have completely incompatible music taste. Just be discerning in what you like. Have some taste for yourself.

I see bands frequently. There are a few Melbourne bands that I see all the time, and there's usually at least something I have a passing interest in seeing every weekend.
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If I hadn't slipped up for six months last year, I'd be nearing a decade of vegetarianism now. But I did, starting with crickets in Cambodia. Who doesn't eat meat for 8.5 years then starts with fried crickets? Me, apparently. Jesus. Anyway, back to vegetarianism now, which feels much better in every way.

I really love carbs. I really, really love carbs. And pad thai. If you take me out for dinner, I actually eat. Miraculous.

- my mother
- glasses, for to see!
- books
- a healthy dose of self-belief
- some plan for the future, no matter how half-baked and vague

everything else is unnecessary. Nice and comforting, maybe, but definitely non-essential.

What I actually want to do and see.
Where I should be going, to do what I want to do. The balance between being so frustrated and angry about various things, and nesting down into an easy, comfortable cynicism and resignation.

I hate questions like this. Something or nothing.

The irrational fear of dead birds is probably more stupid than private.

If you wonder how the hell you're meant to find people like you, that you like, when the places and ways that people ordinarily meet seem boring, unappealing, and/or downright abhorrent. If you have some sort of drive and spark and aren't going to message me and wax lyrical about how nobody understands you. Because chances are, you're a perfectly understandable prototype.

This is not even just romantically speaking, but generally. If you think we would get along, whoever you are. You know.

If you are older than me, have teenage alcoholism out of your system, don't live with your parents and have a bit of a spine. I don't know why these things are so hard to find.