I'm back after a 3+ month long hiatus. Miss me?

I'm small, loud, and come wrapped in a shiny package. I'm likely not the droid you're looking for. Seriously, I'm the last stop: you'll date me, we'll break up, and you'll marry the next girl or boy you date.

I dance multiple times per week (usually swing, lindy, very rarely the blues, and will occasionally bal here & there), I collect Atari 2600 games and I live with a very large, loud orange cat who enjoys long walks in the park and catnip mices.

I've got a rapier-sharp wit, the loudest laugh in the room, and wicked inappropriate sense of humor.

My diet's somewhat limited due to some major food intolerances-eating out can be pretty entertaining with me. Don't worry, it doesn't impact you as much as you'd think. You will learn where all the gluten-free, egg-free cupcakes and pizza joints are in the city though, amongst other things. This also means I'm down with your food concerns. Vegan? No problem! Only eat marshmallow peeps? AWESOME. Mea-gan? Great, let's go to that Brazilian meat on a stick place and feast on roast beast!

I am quirky, festive, and highly entertaining

I've taken up swing dancing or the lindy hop & find it much to my liking. You'll usually find me on the dance floor, or making an impromptu dance floor in some outdoor space when the weather holds.

I do play some video games, but not nearly as much as I used to. I recently completed Fallout 3 (again), Bioshock 2 (yes, catching up on older games), played some LA Noire, and am currently playing Skyrim. Just got me some Bioshock Infinite!

Aside from that, the usual detritus of modern day life: teh internets, teleworking, reading, out with my friends. See above. Rinse, lather, repeat.

I'm damn good at finding a bargain. Seriously, need a new wardrobe? I'm your girl friday. In another life, I think I could have been a personal shopper.

I'm also a pretty snappy dresser, if I do say so myself, and I do. Of course, you have to like glitter and party dresses and chewbacca boots. Sometimes all at once.

Cats love me. I am the cat whisperer. Dogs like me, but I speak cat better than dog. If you have pets, though, they will flock to me like moths to a flame. Maybe it's the boots.

The Chewbacca boots, in the winter. The ridiculous feathers in my hair, disguising the bed-head. In the summer, the ridiculous party dresses, and the gilttery wizard of oz shoes.

Lack of an indoor voice, if you hear me first.

Food's a minefield, so there aren't too many favorites. Roast beast? Coffee?

I read often, many genres. I'm a huge Steinbeck fan, and I love sci-fi. Have a book to recommend? Please do. I'm big on American lit overall, and I've read A Prayer for Owen Meany about eleventy-twelve times. Also reading The Big Short, which is more interesting than one would think. Also just finished the Forever War, on recommendation from my brother.

Currently digging the 80's new wave, and anything danceable. My XM/Sirius radio is usually tuned to 1st Wave, 80's on 8, 50's on 5, or the 40's on 4, with a smattering of Siriusly Sinatra, Alt Nation, or Lithium (don't hate, I was in college in the 90's, hahaha.)

As for movies, Star Trek, all of them. Seriously. KHAAAAAAAAAN. I like Spock best of all. Usually, I prefer movies that make me laugh until things come out of my nose (lowbrow humor: see things such as Cabin Boy, Galaxy Quest, Wayne's World), or large-scale action flicks such as the Terminator. I also like sci-fi, obviously, such as Blade Runner. Oh, and as made clear by the references, yes, I dig Star Wars, but only the original ones. None of this Jar-Jar Binks crap. Oh, and I should give a shout out to the finest TV show ever: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

And really, because they should have this section already, my favorite video games: Alpha Centauri, Civilization (all but Call to Power, which everyone should recognize for the crap that it is), Pitfall!, the Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man, Bioshock, Fable II, Fallout III, Katamari Damacy, Morrowind, Oblivion, Autoduel, The Oregon Trail, The Typing of the Dead, Samba de Amigo, Lunar: The Silver Star Story, Duck Hunt, Bachelor Party/Gigolo, City Connection, Rampage, Crystal Castles, Might & Magic VI, Sword of Vermillion, Phantasy Star II and III, Ms. Pac Man, Centipede, Ultima IV.

In all reality, if I'm being honest, there's one thing I cannot live without:

Modern medicine.

But the six things I love would be: coffee, a decent dance floor, chewbacca boots, Peeps, eBay and teh internets. Yes, all of them.

I've recently been pondering why time seems to have stopped for me and I now look 10 years younger than most of my peers.

This leads me to usually dating down, and then SERIOUSLY REGRETTING IT, because, dude, YOU PEOPLE DON'T REMEMBER THE THUNDERCATS. OR PITFALL. THE HELL? Seriously, Gen-X, where are you on this site? Come commune with me over the memories of our misspent youths.

On a deeper note, my health, what to do next, the usual things we all ponder.

HOORAY FOR THE PASSAGE OF TIME, I NO LONGER SPORT THE UNFORTUNATE MULLET. However, I realize my current hair no longer affords me the luxury of weeding out judgmental assholes at first glance, as it is shockingly normal. BAH.

Dancing. Maybe, if we're really being fancy, I am at a haus party. Or playing cards. Who are we kidding? I AM DANCING.

No kids for me (at least not my own.)

I have a pain disorder, which means I am not a wuss. About anything. Ever. Except flannel sheets, which freak me the $&^# out for some reason.

This used to be a study in negatives. I'm changing it up, though be forewarned: the snark, it is close to my heart.

I brake for dancers, I dig the liberals, and I make passes at guys who wear glasses. I also enjoy the nerdlier boys who can grow things in petri dishes. Who doesn't like science projects?

In terms of personality, the more the better, in my book, usually. Since my volume control is lacking, people who can hold their own are awesome.

My favorite boys in the past have been King Nerds, seriously, who knew volumes about dork history-including the PlayStation fan of the year, hahaha. Seriously.

Someone recently asked me if I have a type. The answer, after a bit of thought, is apparently yes, I do, type : "engineer and/or programmer." I realized that nearly everyone I've dated seriously in my life is one of those professions. Interesting, no?

Nowadays, a fellow dancer would rock my socks, but as long as you're willing to work around my schedule, we're cool. That being said, I shall remind you I dance at least every monday, tuesday, saturday and some fridays and thursdays. This is not including the dance exchange weekends. So if you really hate dancing, you might want to skip this profile and proceed to the next girl.

Things that are dealbreakers: zealotry, cigarette smoking, drug usage, living outside the immediate DC metro area (I have recently been informed that this is confusing, so to clarify, if you're in the immediate suburbs, such as, say, silver spring, arlington, etc, that's fine. An hour outside the city is not. make sense?), polyamory (honestly, I don't play second fiddle well.)

Oh, and you lame ducks? Jet. Do not pass go. DC's my home base. My mothership, if you will.