I Am what Willis was talking about, I know the man from Nantucket, Angelina Jolie is my stunt double, and I speak in double intendres. I am the love child of Tina Fey and Roseanne Barr. George Clooney asks me to clear his girlfriend choices. Banksy has captured my image and I taught Ina Garten to cook. Oprah calls me for advice, and Monica Lewinsky was my scapegoat. I am Stan Lee's muse and I taught Beyonce how to sing and dance. Both Daniel Day Lewis and Phillip Seymore Hoffman ask me to run their lines and I am Obama's inspiration. In a nutshell: I am wicked awesome.

I obviously have a wicked sense humor and looking for someone who appreciates it. I will not be your cup of tea if you don't appreciate sarcasm, obscure movie/lit/historical references. I'm the funny girl that you can grab beers with, go to a game with, play a game, or I dress up nicely for the company party.

If you can't laugh at words like "duty" and really lame jokes. If you suffer from narcissistic personality disorder, you're on the FBI list, or if your OKC profile looks like it should be on a FBI list, you're super conservative, super religious, mean, can't handle it when I may say something inappropriate, or a total jerk face I will not be tolerant of your shenanigans. I can have a wicked tongue that can be used for either good or evil depending on what hand you deal me.

I won't waste your time, so please don't waste mine. I am not interested in seeing anyone that is in their 20s, 50s, 60s, etc. I am sure that you are a lively and lovely human being. However, I would like a more age appropriate relationship/friendship. Please don't message me and say, "casual sex?" Or send me shirtless pics. I'm not going to lie, you may have to buy me a drink or two before that happens. Married couples, I have no interest in being the "right angle" in your love triangle. Of course I could be persuaded if Beyonce is involved.

I will be your cup of tea if you appreciate honesty, kindness, laughter, are a happy person and enjoy the importance of having fun. I don't play games and you will always know where you stand with me. I am looking to expand my life with new friends or more. I love to dance and want someone who is at least willing to go dancing/ watch. I love going to sporting events, no matter how obscure, and can't wait for the summer.

What a loaded question. Jesus, somedays it's trying to keep my composure as 40 kids (that's right, 40) discussing how they would like to nominate me for What Not to Wear; the boys really get into my wardrobe selections. Being a single-mom, writing, discussing politics with the t.v. Wondering why anyone wants to watch Les Mis ( it's named the miserable for a reason), and I mean the movie, learning to live again after divorce, singing like Beyonce, itchin to go fishin, reading almost everything I can get my hands on, grading papers, lifting weights, and getting my J-LO ass back. Traveling, cooking, teaching compassion and tough love, and laughing.

I'm totally serious about the J-LO ass. I've set some serious fitness goals for myself and I've registered for my first race. I have finally discovered the importance of health and fitness in my life and although I'm not there yet, nothing is stoping me from getting the goals that I want.:)

Being a smart ass, a great cook, knowing great places for food in the city, reading, having a wicked sense of humor, understanding teenagers, laughing at super inappropriate things, saying super inappropriate things, blushing, caring for others and saving the world from kids who can't read good. I'm referencing Zoolander. I have other talents, but let's just say you never feed a gremlin after midnight!

My sharp wit, the ability to discuss most things, and sense of humor. I rely heavily on sarcasm, irony, and dry humor. Right now people notice my braces. Yes, I have braces and as dorky as that is, I can't wait to get them off (3 months). If you are not prepared to be whisked back to those magical middle school days when we lip lock, no worries.

Too many to count. I love reading and some of my favorites include: To Kill a Mockingbird, East of Eden, Of Mice and Men, The Bluest Eye, Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, Beast in the Garden, Freakenomics, David Sedaris, and I could go on. My favorite movies include: Shawshank Redemption, American Beauty, Father Goose, Rosemary's Baby, Goodfellas, Eternal Sunshine, Silver Linings, Magnolia, The Big Labowski, and the list can ramble on. I love Cat Power, Florence and the Machine, Mumford and Sons, 70s rock, and a buffet of crappy pop music. I love musical theater and will belt out musical numbers without notice. I also love going to the theater and live shows. I love local shows and am up for checking out a variety of bands.

1.My daughter
2. Kindness, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness.
3. Interesting people/travel
4. Laughter and the ability to find any situation funny
5. Intellectual conversations.
6. Physical activity and good food

How to be kind,teach compassion, being a better role-model, and if my job is as effective as I think it is. How I could never survive a zombie/nuclear apocalypse. How I can't wait to buy a record player and start collecting vinyl. Why my Netflix freaks out. Why Archer is so funny and am I the only human being that laughs at her own jokes? Why is Cormac Macarthy so depressing that I want to rip my eyes out before ever reading his stuff again?! Yuck!

Up for anything. Wait! Let me be clear: nothing that requires me to use an attorney to bail me out of jail.

In my head, I feel like I dance and sing like Beyonce. However, being a realist, I know it's not true.:( Also, my last relationship was an exercise in Stockholm Syndrome and lasted 10 years, so I am totally new to the online world. Be patient. I am a fierce friend.

You are genuinely kind, compassionate, happy, and have a sense of humor. You love to laugh and don't take yourself too seriously. You also need to be willing to try new places in the city and not be scared off because I'm a single mom.