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37 Englewood, CO Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 35–49
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:38pm
5′ 5″ (1.66m)
Body Type
A little extra
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I Am what Willis was talking about, I know the man from Nantucket, Angelina Jolie is my stunt double, and I speak in double entendres. I am the love child of Tina Fey and Roseanne Barr. George Clooney asks me to clear his girlfriend choices. Banksy has captured my image and I taught Ina Garten to cook. Oprah calls me for advice, and Monica Lewinsky was my scapegoat. I am Stan Lee's muse and I taught Beyonce how to sing and dance. Daniel Day Lewis asks me to run his lines and I am Obama's inspiration. In a nutshell: I am wicked awesome.

I obviously have a wicked sense humor and looking for someone who appreciates it. I will not be your cup of tea if you don't appreciate sarcasm, obscure movie/lit/historical references. I'm the funny girl that you can grab beers with, go to a game with, play a game, or I dress up nicely for the company party.

If you can't laugh at words like "duty" and really lame jokes. If you suffer from narcissistic personality disorder, you're on the FBI list, or if your OKC profile looks like it should be on a FBI list, you're super conservative, super religious, mean, can't handle it when I may say something inappropriate, or a total jerk face I will not be tolerant of your shenanigans. I can have a wicked tongue that can be used for either good or evil depending on what hand you deal me.

I won't waste your time, so please don't waste mine. I am not interested in seeing anyone that is in their 20s, 50s, 60s, etc. I am sure that you are a lively and lovely human being. However, I would like a more age appropriate relationship/friendship. Please don't message me and say, "casual sex?" Or send me shirtless pics. I'm not going to lie, you may have to buy me a drink or two before that happens. Married couples, I have no interest in being the "right angle" in your love triangle. Of course I could be persuaded if Beyonce is involved.

I will be your cup of tea if you appreciate honesty, kindness, laughter, are a happy person and enjoy the importance of having fun. I don't play games and you will always know where you stand with me. I am looking to expand my life with new friends or more. I love to dance and want someone who is at least willing to go dancing/ watch. I love going to sporting events, no matter how obscure, and can't wait for the summer.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
What a loaded question. Jesus, somedays it's trying to keep my composure as 40 kids (that's right, 40) discussing how they would like to nominate me for What Not to Wear; the boys really get into my wardrobe selections. Being a single-mom, writing, discussing politics with the t.v., singing like Beyonce, itchin to go fishin, reading almost everything I can get my hands on, grading papers, lifting weights, jazzercising, and doing yoga in an effort to get my J-LO ass back. Traveling, trying new things, cooking, teaching compassion and tough love, and laughing.

I'm totally serious about the J-LO ass. I've set some serious fitness goals for myself and I've registered for my first race. I have finally discovered the importance of health and fitness in my life and although I'm not there yet, nothing is stoping me from getting the goals that I want.:)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being a smart ass, a great cook, knowing great places for food in the city, reading, having a wicked sense of humor, understanding teenagers, laughing at super inappropriate things, saying super inappropriate things, blushing, caring for others and saving the world from kids who can't read good. I'm referencing Zoolander. I have other talents, but let's just say you never feed a gremlin after midnight!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sharp wit, the ability to discuss most things, and sense of humor. I rely heavily on sarcasm, irony, and dry humor. Oh, and my smokin' hot ass. At least that's if you like big butts and you cannot lie. If you expect me to be a size two, you will be disappointed. I'm 3/4 to my weight loss goal and I'm not quite there yet. I also have perfectly white, straight teeth. I'm a bit obsessed with them considering I had braces twice in my life. And my very geek chic glasses. No lie, that's what they are called.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Too many to count. I love reading and some of my favorites include: To Kill a Mockingbird, East of Eden, Of Mice and Men, The Bluest Eye, Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, Beast in the Garden, Freakenomics, David Sedaris, and I could go on. My favorite movies include: Shawshank Redemption, American Beauty, Father Goose, Rosemary's Baby, Goodfellas, Eternal Sunshine, Silver Linings, Magnolia, The Big Labowski, and the list can ramble on. I love Cat Power, Florence and the Machine, Mumford and Sons, 70s rock, and a buffet of crappy pop music. I love musical theater and will belt out musical numbers without notice. I also love going to the theater and live shows. I love local shows and am up for checking out a variety of bands.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.My daughter
2. Kindness, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness.
3. Interesting people/travel
4. Laughter and the ability to find any situation funny
5. Intellectual conversations.
6. Physical activity and good food
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to be kind,teach compassion, being a better role-model, and if my job is as effective as I think it is. How I could never survive a zombie/nuclear apocalypse. How I can't belive my record player was on $15, but the sound of vinyl is priceless. Why my Netflix freaks out and I wish they would carry HBO shows. Why Archer is so funny and am I the only human being that laughs at her own jokes? Why is Cormac Macarthy so depressing that I want to rip my eyes out before ever reading his stuff again?! Yuck!

How I'm pretty damn lucky to have a dad that instilled a love for Presidential libraries within me. Dorky, but have you ever visited a Presidential library? They are amazing!

I have a tendency to spend time in NYC and just bought tickets to see James Franco in Of Mice and Men, and wonder if the stage production will match my deep love for that book...Franco was disappointing, but Chris O'Dowd was AMAZING!!!!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Up for anything. Wait! Let me be clear-- nothing that requires me to use an attorney to bail me out of jail.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In my head, I feel like I dance and sing like Beyonce. However, being a realist, I know it's not true.:( I also love to Jazzercise with a group of older ladies. Don't knock it until you try it.;)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are genuinely kind, compassionate, happy, and have a sense of humor. You love to laugh and don't take yourself too seriously. You also need to be willing to try new places in the city and not be scared off because I'm a single mom.