Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

I'm still pretty much new to Seattle. I know, I know, I've lived here 2 years. But I spent the first year as a student with blinders on, and then got saddled with a crazy commute, so I haven't done much exploring. Invite me to see your favorite local band or to your favorite street fair. Chances are, I've never been before!

I curse a lot. I’m trying to cut down, but it’s like some sick f*cking addiction. I don’t lie, not even to make you feel better. I have a hard time getting excited and thanking people for doing things that they ought to be doing in the first place. (That last bit is more about my hypothetical lazy coworker than my hypothetical hardworking waitress.) In that unnamed state to the south where I’m from, it didn’t seem this way, but that same personality transplanted here might be too aggressive for a lot of Seattleites.

I’ve definitely mellowed some since arriving here, but I’m always going to be me. Deep down I’m a really nice person, but I guess I don’t always act that way by local standards. Still, once we’ve established ourselves as friends, I’ll gladly get up at 5am to drive you to the airport (in your car of course, because I can’t be bothered to own one) and watch your cats while you’re gone even though they make me sneeze. A lot. Stupid allergies.

I tend to like my women on the androgynous-to-butch side of the spectrum, and my men manly. (But I've definitely been known to stray from that path.) Does that make me a girly-girl? Heck no. On the rare occasion when I put on a skirt, it’s not likely to be one you’d take me home to meet your mother in. Speaking of which, I really don’t want to meet her right away. That sort of thing makes me nervous.

I appreciate a significant other who knows how to fix stuff that’s broken and program the hell out of a computer and take out the trash and do the dishes. Oh, how I hate the dishes. I’ll gladly do the laundry and make sure all the bills are paid and even occasionally clean the toilet if only you’ll save me from the dishes! Yeah, ok, I want my very own Boy Scout. (Boy parts not required.) Update: I found one, and meeting mom wasn't so scary.

Some other important things to know:

Monkeys make me smile.

Racists and sexists and homophobes piss me off, but rich bitches in Volvos make me giggle.

I’d rather keep working at a non-profit I feel good about contributing to than make better money but feel dirty going to work every day.

Some of my best friends are poly, but I'm not.

Even though I'm vegan, I've only really dated one vegetarian. It went badly. Still, I don't ever again want to live in a home where meat is cooked. Have at it at restaurants or an outdoor BBQ all you want, but not in my kitchen!

And I believe in following this rule. Heck, sometimes I'm stricter than it says I ought to be.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

--Commuting way too many hours a week to my job as a professional cat herder (it's right here, so why do people always ask me what I do for a living?)

--Slowly catching up on the books and movies I missed while I was playing student

--Trying to spend a little more quality time with my bicycle (but avoiding hills, doctor's orders)...(hmm...I just got my first sewing machine, and it seems to be attracting more of my attention than the poor bicycle)

--Wondering if I'm really up for another winter in Seattle. (It's not the gray. I like the gray. I just wish the sun would rise and set at the proper times. And being a motorcyclist, I'm not a fan of icy roads. I'm just saying.)

I'm really good at Propose an edit

* Catching and keeping colds

* Coming up with the worst possible outcome to your idea

* Pissing off holier-than-thou vegans

* Figuring out which emergency room your insurance will pay for and getting you there

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

That I always wear my motorcycle gear (if I'm riding), or maybe my hair. Whether it's long or short, green, purple, or its natural brown. (Ok, it hasn't been green or purple for a pretty long time.)

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

(A) My friends mock me for reading boring academic stuff. I mock them for reading cheesy sci-fi. Update: Great. Someone lent me Good Omens and I liked it. Now what?

(B) Dead Alive, Delicatessen, Grease, The Linguini Incident. And I prefer the Buffy movie to the TV show.

(C) If we're counting albums, I'm pretty sure the winners are Chumbawamba, Tom Petty, and Tori Amos, but I wouldn't swear to it. Me, confused?

(D) Always the awkward question for me with new people, so let's get it out of the way, ok? I'm vegan, which limits my food options in a positive way. I'm allergic to wheat, which limits my food options in a negative way (but I recently found some magic pills that allow me to cheat occasionally). I'm allergic to fish which means that not only do I not eat sushi, I won't even set foot in a non-vegan Japanese restaurant. Too dangerous! I'm a fan of my little local farmers' market, where I'm especially attracted to things like organic green garlic, red kale, and rainbow chard. I avoid caffeine like the plague. Unless it's in chocolate. Or maybe green tea. Need help? (And if you're looking for some more specific/simple answers: bananas and potatoes!)

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

White noise to mask the tinnitus so I can sleep on my memory foam mattress, my motorcycle, Mr. Green Sock Monkey, an internet connection, yummy vegan food, and, uh, something else. I'll have to get back to you.

Lip balm. I have been informed that lip balm is the 6th thing.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

+ Monkey socks and sock monkeys

+ How terribly unfair it is for a cat person to be allergic to cats

+ How cold is too cold to ride

+ Why people lie when telling the truth is usually so much simpler

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

I finally got my Fridays back! No more waking up at 4:30 am. Now, what should I do with them? Seriously.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

Labyrinthitis is a bitch.

And now that that's mostly over, I guess I'll have to come up with something else to reveal. Like that I broke up with my razor.

You should message me if Propose an edit

...you're an Irish and/or Italian motorcycle racing computer geek (this is so much less applicable now that I'm in a relationship)

...you can handle most conversations being more tangent than intended subject

...you have a recycling bin and you know how to use it

...you aren't intimidated by a girl who rides a motorcycle

...you can find me on AIM, because the OKC chat client makes me want to poke my eyes out

...OKC says you're more radcliffy than me. Seriously, is there a single one out there?

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