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another_mensch

26 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 27
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Oh, hello! I must not have heard you arrive. Welcome to my profile!
I hope you like the what I’ve done with the place: I know that it’s impossible to write one of these without alienating someone—which is a shame, since there’s no reason to expect how I market myself on the Internet to reflect what it would be like to spend time with me. But why am I telling you this? You have the same problem.

Chances are, you’re looking for someone smart and funny. As luck would have it, I’m smart and funny. What’s that? Not quite convinced? That’s all right: a certain amount of skepticism is healthy. I have the rest of the page to win you over.

Tastes being what they are, you’re probably also looking for someone quirky. Now, let me be clear that I don’t think of myself as quirky: I have no commitment to quirkiness. Nevertheless, you may end up considering me quirky. Others have.

For the sake of full disclosure, I should mention that I also possess negative qualities. I’d provide you with a list, but that would be self-defeating. See how honest I am?
What I’m doing with my life
Well, the short version is I'm a lawyer, but (surprise!) the long version is more complicated. In any event, I can give you the long version once we get to know each other a little better: I need to maintain an air of mystery, after all.
I’m really good at
Not very much. Oh wait, I am pretty good at ironing actually. For what that's worth.
The first things people usually notice about me
Depends on the person and the context. But you know that. So instead I’ll tell you about a couple of things that get noticed not infrequently:

I have nice hair. “luscious” some say, “soft, flowing, and styled with the perfect level of sprezzatura.” Others have called it “breath taking”—after regaining their breath, of course.

My unusually long and thick...eyelashes are also noticeable. Despite rumors to the contrary, I assure you that they’re real, and they’re spectacular.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Just these? Why? What about my favorite color? Sport? Racehorse? Car? Ship? Airplane? Space shuttle? Shop? Brand? Fashion designer? Critical theorist?

Anyway, I never learned how to play favorites.
The six things I could never do without
new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals, casual sex

All kidding aside, it saddens me that there are only six little check boxes for the “For” line in the I’m looking for section, as though all the ways in which one person might relate to another could be reduced to a small number of consumer goods: “Oh, dear! I’m running low on ‘activity partners.’ I better go online and order some more. Hmm...should I spring for next-day shipping?” But why go on about it? You probably feel the same.

Still, I’m wary of people who choose “long-term dating,” but not “short-term dating.” If I go out with you once, have I entered into a three-year contract? Are there penalty fees if we break up earlier? Do "some restrictions" apply? Must I see the terms and conditions?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The law and the minutiae of everyday life. But I wouldn’t want to tell you about that—it would betray a lack of imagination—nor would you want to hear about it. Instead, here are some OkCupid-inspired topics about which I spend almost no time thinking, but which at least demonstrate a modicum of creativity:

What’s protocol when you stumble upon the OkCupid profile of a real-life acquaintance? Is there anything in the writings of Emily Post that could serve as precedent? If not, who decides? Can I appeal? Who hears the appeal? Can a bill overturn the ruling? Who passes such a bill? Signs it into law? Veto power? Where’s Schoolhouse Rock when you need it?

I recently moved back to California, and it seems like a lot of people really like avocados and hiking. Now don't get me wrong, avocados are delicious and hiking is no slouch either, but why these two? If they lived in Hawaii would it be surfing and pineapples? Idaho throwing steaks (or footballs) and potatoes?
On a typical Friday night I am
what I am?

Even a casual perusal of other profiles reveals that there is a heated debate going on as to whether there even is such a thing as a typical Friday night! I don't wish to take sides on this divisive issue. What I will say is that even if there is, in fact, such a thing as a typical Friday night, it would be uninteresting. Who wants to hear about something typical?

Instead, I’ll tell you that I spent this past Friday night in Tahoe hanging out with some friends and putting together puzzles. It was both fun and atypical.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have no idea how to assign degrees of privacy: as far as I know, that very fact may be the most private thing I’m willing to admit. Anyway, here are a few things that seem like they might be private:

I myself prefer to use the serial comma, but I don’t understand the level of fanaticism that this one little punctuation mark seems to have engendered.

Sometimes, when I write a sentence that could upset or offend, I put a winky face after it to indicate that I don’t mean it—but I really do mean it. ;)

The present profile is my second on this site. The first generated both critical acclaim and my own boredom, so I’m going for a different aesthetic with this one—less banal, more improvisational—though I’m worried about the sophomore slump.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Just do it! What are you, chicken?