I hope you like the what I’ve done with the place: I know that it’s impossible to write one of these without alienating someone—which is a shame, since there’s no reason to expect how I market myself on the Internet to reflect what it would be like to spend time with me. But why am I telling you this? You have the same problem.
Chances are, you’re looking for someone smart and funny. As luck would have it, I’m smart and funny. What’s that? Not quite convinced? That’s all right: a certain amount of skepticism is healthy. I have the rest of the page to win you over.
Tastes being what they are, you’re probably also looking for someone quirky. Now, let me be clear that I don’t think of myself as quirky: I have no commitment to quirkiness. Nevertheless, you may end up considering me quirky. Others have.
For the sake of full disclosure, I should mention that I also possess negative qualities. I’d provide you with a list, but that would be self-defeating. See how honest I am?