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Brassfinger

49 M New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Jul 27
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Capricorn
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Force of nature—witty, wise, nurturing. Seeks kind, creative equal to admire, challenge, cherish.

I am smart, creative, romantic. I light up a room but don't suck the air out of it.
What I’m doing with my life
Raising an amazing nine-year-old daughter and running a self-created mini-empire of design and publishing-related businesses.

Divorced for years. Relationship with ex is long over but amicable in terms of parenting our magical kid, who lives with me half the time and her mom the other half. Raising my kid, who turns ten in September, is an amazing and unforeseen adventure.

I teach, travel, and lecture; parties, classrooms, design studios, and conference halls are where I spend a lot of work time interacting with groups. About once a month I head somewhere in the US to run and speak at a design conference I co-founded. I also publish web design books and a long-running web design magazine, teach a class at SVA, host a design podcast, and chair a design agency I founded in 1999. I work passionately, but I'm not a workaholic.

I write and design professionally but also for fun and expression. Work out three times a week, yoga once a week. Studied photography a bit in college and have rekindled a passion for it. I love taking long photo walks with my little Sony camera in NYC and other places travel takes me. Not sure what it says about me, but my favorite photo subjects are architecture and people. Beginning in high school, I wrote music and played keyboards in bands. And for a while as an adult I tried making a go of a music career. I still play, just for pleasure. And of course I deeply, madly, truly love music. All kinds.
I’m really good at
Making people I'm close to laugh.

Speaking truth directly yet lovingly and with compassion.

Really actually truly listening to people I care about.

Caring about people.

Giving. Sometimes too much. It's only now, at this advanced age, that I'm beginning to figure out how to also take care of myself, not just others.

Having a conversation with just about anybody.

Accepting that different people think differently, and looking for value and truth in the opinions of people with whom I disagree.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
MUSIC: MF Doom, J Dilla, The Roots, Brian Eno, David Bowie, Count Bass D, Madlib, Chet Baker, Stan Getz & João Gilberto, RZA, Miles Davis, Elvis Costello & The Attractions, John Coltrane, Frank Sinatra, Madvillain, KMD, Johnny Cash, Kraftwerk, Nick Lowe, Nina Simone, Talking Heads, Danger Mouse, Beck, of Montreal, The Clash, Goldfrapp, Charles Mingus, Frank Zappa, Tom Waits, John Lurie, Joni Mitchell, Beirut, Eels, King Crimson, Stevie Wonder, XTC, Outkast, Wire, Gerry Mulligan, Todd Rundgren, Oh No, Weather Report, Gang of Four, Iggy Pop, The Band, Julie London, Muslimgauze, Antônio Carlos Jobim, Dolly Parton, Roy Orbison, The Doors, Frank Black, Brother Ali, Harold Budd, Sérgio Mendes & Brasil '66, Robert Fripp, Earth Wind & Fire, Viktor Vaughn, &c.

MOVIES & TV: North by Northwest, Rushmore, Lost in Translation, 8 1/2, Annie Hall, Chinatown, Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire, Archer, South Park, 30 Rock, Penny Dreadful, Game of Thrones—really, what a golden age of television (and shit age of movies) we're living through. I've watched everything by Hitchcock at least twice, and will watch anything by Wes Anderson, Scorsese, Fellini, Bergman, Welles, Howard Hawks, and a couple of dozen other amazing auteur directors. I love comedy, whether it's profound, witty, and insightful (Louis CK now, Woody Allen in the 70s) or dumb and funny (Knocked Up). Even love rom-coms. Ladies.

BOOKS: I learn more about the world and other human beings from fiction than non-fiction; or maybe it's just a preference. The Golden Notebook, Women in Love, Ragtime, Please Kill Me, The Quiet American, Ripley's Game, The Alienist. Doris Lessing, Raymond Chandler, Patricia Highsmith, Dashiell Hammett, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, E.L. Doctorow, Ian Fleming, Elmore Leonard, Jane Austen. I read the Harry Potter novels four times, the Ripley novels and Women in Love at least three times each.

FOOD: Mostly vegetarian, mostly eating clean, but love my spicy Asian. Still talking about food.
The six things I could never do without
* My daughter, my daughter, my daughter
* Brooks training shoes
* Fresh linen
* Deep tissue massage
* My little Sony camera
* My iPhone (come on, we're all addicted)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
You.

You have a sense of the world and you know what you want from it. You are kind, funny, insightful, clever, possibly talented, maybe entrepreneurial or following an independent muse of some sort. You'll be happy with the right person but you'd rather be alone than with the wrong one. You love closeness with the right person but you aren't afraid of a little "you" time. If you hate kids or animals, we aren't right for each other. If you have children, great! If not, that's swell, too.

Initially looking for someone to date, e.g. dinners, museums and galleries, exploring NYC neighborhoods and parks. Not afraid of commitment (I seek it and am faithful), but not in a hurry. Let's enjoy the journey.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dinner with friends, hanging out with my kid, taking a long photo walk, or just catching up reading/TV/movies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm 54 but look and feel 40; I changed my age to 49 for search purposes. I know, pathetic. But all the other kids are doing it.
I’m looking for
  • Straight girls only
  • Ages 44–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're cool with this.