Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Who am I?
I'm just some kid who woke up one day and was like "are those gray
hairs? Well, crap, I guess I'd better get my act together."
Luckily, that particular morning was over two years ago, so the
act's pretty put together now. Unluckily...more gray hairs.
I'm a very special boy. But I'll be damned if I'll reveal why to
the likes of you!
Update: so many more gray hairs. -_-
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a lawyer. I lawy all day every day.
I run my own lawyin' business. Among other things, I sue banks.
Other things: I founded a micro-finance company at the end of
law/business school; my undergraduate degree was in international
development; and I focused both my legal and business education on
I became an uncle on December 7, 2014, and I aspire to avuncular
Effective March 12, 2015, I have decided to become a fanatic about
fitness and coffee. So, in three months, I will post pictures of me
all muscular and such and be able to give self-roasted coffee as
gifts. I'm also working on a stand-up comedy routine that will be
called "My Offline Dating Profile." So, if you actually want to
meet me, just start going to every comedy club around Little Rock
every night until I work up the nerve to actually present my
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Everything, except for the few billion things I haven't had time to
learn about yet. My most important practical skills are: (1)
explaining things in words, and (2) learning.
I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Why, on July 12, 2014,
I woke up at 9:00 a.m. and said "I WILL make it to the 10:00
a.m. show of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes at the theater formerly
known as The Rave." It took a lot of sacrifice and hard work, but I
made it. I. Made. It.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am amusing.
The things folks tend to remember are: my voice, I walk with an air
of great purpose no matter where I'm walking, my dog, and my
relaxed demeanor (when not walking somewhere with an air of great
purpose). Folks say I seem "very comfortable in [my] own
And my ass. Definitely my ass.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Let's say my favorite authors are Kurt Vonnegut, Neal Stephenson,
and Margaret Atwood. That isn't strictly true -- I like a lot of
authors -- but I do like them, and this section calls for a list. I
must obey the internet.
Some favorites are Pulp Fiction, The Dark Knight, Fear and Loathing
in Las Vegas, Dead Man, Gangs of New York, The Departed, and Last
of the Mohicans.
Primarily rock music from different eras. I don't much care for
country or hip hop/rap. I enjoy everything else.
Indian, Eastern Mediterranean (Lebanese), Mexican and Italian. I
also love German food if I can ever find a good place to get some.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
2. Friends (human and canine),
5. Movies, and
6. Impeccable grammar.*
*I'd never get dates without it.
What? Chicks dig grammar. Right? Anybody?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Work, women, how to make the first happy, and do the second more
The source and ultimate fate of life.
How to improve Georgia's (the country, not the state) capacity to
Whether my dog is happy.
The Belfie -- a device to enable better butt selfies -- and its
ramifications for modern civilization.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I might be reading, out at a bar, watching a movie, or
calling/texting friends who live far away. The only thing certain
about my Friday nights is that I do not spend them tidying up
around the house.
I do not go to "the club" and usually think references to "the
club" are kind of annoying. And you damn kids should stop skate
boarding on the sidewalk while you learn to clean up your ambiguous
idioms like "the club."
Update: I went to "the club" twice in October 2014, and again on
New Year's Eve 2014, and reaffirm my opposition. -_-
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"My life is an open book. I'm just not going to read it to
-David Hyde Pierce
I paid for an "A-list membership" on here primarily so I could
change my screenname. Now, I can look at all your profiles without
you knowing it. >:)
I can be kind of shy and quiet. Until I get to know you. By you
saying two and a half words to me.*
*I am, in fact, making fun of you lady folks who say you are
shy and quiet, until someone gets to know you, at which point you
claim to become crazy.
I turned 30 in July 2014. So, naturally, my goal was to meet
someone who would give me my birthday spanking.
^Was not successful. But another birthday is coming up in another
I cannot be trusted with a jar of peanut butter and promptly gain
5-10 pounds whenever I have regular access to the substance.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I like when a woman sends the first message, so feel free.
I joke that I want someone who is as smart and driven as me and
better looking to boot. As long as you're engaging to talk to and
pleasant look at, and are going somewhere in life that makes you
excited to get up and get moving most mornings, I should like
To the people who send extremely brief messages: unlike some
people, I will not ignore you. I will, however, play a super fun
game with you. If you send me a message under 10 words in length, I
will respond with a message of exactly equal length (in words; I
don't have time to try and respond with the exact same number of
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.