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24 Somerville, MA Gender Nonconforming, Non-binary

Gender Nonconforming, Non-binary

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:03pm
Queer, Pansexual
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Space camp
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Portuguese (Poorly), Irish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm the person my friends call when they want honest assessments or squishy hugs. I put absolutely no stock in Myers-Briggs typology outside of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. I'm strongly introverted myself. (Fun fact: most people are ambiverts. Now you know.)

I'm a bisexual activist as well as mental health activist trying to make the world a little kinder. Occasionally, I succeed.

I leak terrible puns. Plans to fix this leak have been cancelled due to budget cuts.

Refer to me by whichever pronouns make you happy. I refer to myself as they or she. He, ze, xe, ye, we, fish, boat, and neo maxi zoom dweebie are all valid choices.

I think this is the part where I talk about being mild-mannered by day and purveyor of vigilante justice by night. Not that I don't have Batman-related aspirations, but in reality I'm a feisty software engineer by day, cocktail hound, go player, raving linguist, and scheming art freak by night, and if you can teach me something new, you have my attention.

To use the thoroughly-cliché-by-now-but-still-relevant phrases penned by one Mr. Whitman:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then, I contradict myself.
I am large, I contain multitudes.


I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Well, during the week, I'm a technically-minded QA engineer making it so companies don't half-ass protecting your data.

Otherwise? Asking what I'm doing with my life is asking for a five-thousand word essay on the nature of love, the frequency with which I check contract job listings based in Antarctica, the value of lived experience and my subsequent compulsion to live as both ascetic and hedonist, paeans to fire art, feminist metadiscourse, obsessive gushing about linguistics, and the immense respect I have for the lectures my father gave me as a teenager.

I'm trying to leave the world better than I found it.

I'm increasingly weary of interactions that are solely online. I want to go and see and do and talk and plot and love and get into trouble and do more actual living.

Learning languages like they've got the cure.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- writing huge walls of text in short periods of time.

- breaking everything I touch. It's more than a little annoying, actually; I'm the King Midas of short circuits. It makes me really good at my job, though. Recently a coworker said "don't let [my name] touch the build system before it's done". For my job, this is high praise.

- being told I'm not capable of doing something and then doing it anyway. I'm incredibly attracted to competence and am -- probably not surprisingly -- hell-bent on being competent myself.

- losing at snowball fights.

- fearlessly making an ass of myself for the sake of performance or entertainment. Ask me about the time I was Magikarp.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't like lists -- what would we talk about if I told you everything? But here are some jumping-off points, which is to say a Slice of the Now for the categories described (and a few not, because following directions is best when convenient).

The Years of Rice and Salt

Working through this list:

Bojack Horseman

Psybient & americana

Avocado, spread on everything. Chickpeas made into dessert. I'm mostly vegetarian.

Trebuchets, the T, and my car, Jadzia. (Yes I did.)

Chronos and Ananke

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

Everything else descends from that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
“For a long while I have believed - this is perhaps my version of Sir Darius Xerxes Cama’s belief in a fourth function of outsideness - that in every generation there are a few souls, call them lucky or cursed, who are simply born not belonging, who come into the world semi-detached, if you like, without strong affiliation to family or location or nation or race; that there may even be millions, billions of such souls, as many non-belongers as belongers, perhaps; that, in sum, the phenomenon may be as “natural” a manifestation of human nature as its opposite, but one that has been mostly frustrated, throughout human history, by lack of opportunity. And not only by that: for those who value stability, who fear transience, uncertainly, change, have erected a powerful system of stigmas and taboos against rootlessness, that disruptive, anti-social force, so that we mostly conform, we pretend to be motivated by loyalties and solidarities we do not really feel, we hide our secret identities beneath the false skins of those identities which bear the belongers’ seal of approval. But the truth leaks out in our dreams; alone in our beds (because we are all alone at night, even if we do not sleep by ourselves), we soar, we fly, we flee. And in the waking dreams our societies permit, in our myths, our arts, our songs, we celebrate the non-belongers, the different ones, the outlaws, the freaks. What we forbid ourselves we pay good money to watch, in a playhouse or a movie theatre, or to read about between the secret covers of a book. Our libraries, our palaces of entertainment tell the truth. The tramp, the assassin, the rebel, the thief, the mutant, the outcast, the delinquent, the devil, the sinner, the traveller, the gangster, the runner, the mask: if we did not recognize in them our least-fulfilled needs, we would not invent them over and over again, in every place, in every language, in every time.”
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
at my favourite cocktail nook letting the bartender ply me with a creative new libation or four..

on an adventure planned approximately five minutes prior.

sitting in with board games and Scotch. (Balvenie 14yo Caribbean Cask, if you don't mind.)

rendering 'typical' meaningless.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you quote Tom Robbins at me, I'm easier than Go Fish.

I don't like red meat unless it's in small quantities and interestingly seasoned (or in pho).

My definition of single is different from yours, I expect. I have a partner with whom I live, but our say in each other's relationships goes as far as "I think this person is an axe murderer, please don't bring them into my apartment" or discussions of time management. We might date someone together if there's mutual interest, but our default and preference is separate. I am not looking for monogamy and my other dalliances will not stop if you start haunting my doorways.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you can't believe you read the whole thing.

you have something you think you can teach me.

you're polyamorous, too.

you have something to say about the Oxford comma. I'm legitimately conflicted.

you understand that I am very particular about the conditions under which I do more than cuddling and kissing. If it proceeds, it's because we're brain-compatible first and pants-compatible second.

you're up for any of snuggling and board games, adventuring as fast as our feet will take us, intense debate about subjects we're passionate about, embracing absurdity, and making it happen. Possibly all at once.

Messages amounting to any of "hey", "you're sexy", or "want to see my penis" will be either ignored or responded to in a way you won't like. Messages consisting solely of commentary on my appearance will be viewed with scorn. There are over 1,000 words in my profile; you can pick something out, I'm sure.