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30 • Oakland, CA • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 21–35
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
- Last online
- Yesterday – 6:18am
- 5′ 11″ (1.80m)
- Body type
- Atheism, and laughing about it
- Aries, but it doesn’t matter
- Dropped out of university
- Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
- Likes cats
- English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly)
less CFCs, higher electrical conductivity, and more grams of trans fat (per serving) than the leading competitor!
Problems with other (non-recyclable) brands of boy, usually stem from a low pixel ratio, or high viscosity in warm weather, BUT NOT APE!
As seen in Le Figaro Magazine, Ape has no problem folding easily to fit under your couch, and easily turns worn socks into festive centerpieces for your holiday dinner table!
Never from concentrate, Ape was voted "highest replay value, in a platform shooter" by the Akron SPCA!
"louder than a mop"- Perdana Menteri
"handsome in his vest"- Apes Grandma
"one thumb down"- Richard Roeper
Repairing my transport module so I can return to Proxima Centauri.
Packing degrading organic matter into my body cavity, then fermenting it there, to fuel my normal human body.
Rocking entirely too much ice in my G'd up grill.
- Talking about my feelings.
- Changing for you.
- Crushing my enemies.
- Poisoning minds through synergy.
I like movies with really solid closed captioning options!
I like shows about lame people, that bum people out, and also cops.
I only listen to music that nobody like me should listen to.
I like food with lots of souls in it. but I'll never eat an animal that didn't have eyelids!
2. Pacific reef egret.
3. Cinnamon bittern.
4. Eastern great egret.
5. my iPhone.
6. Cattle egret.
-you think I look funny, or...
-you're bossy, or...
-you need a rearview for a 1973 vw thing, or...
-you talk fast, or...
-you want get the leash and take me for a walk, or...
-you're all out of bubble gum
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