I play the electric guitar and I often express my emotions through extended and devastating solos. These solos are typically described by my fans as "savage," "life-altering," and "better than the collected works of Shakespeare." When I am not savaging and devastating, I enjoy buying used CDs, leaving good tips at my favorite restaurants, and wondering where the time went.
When the weather is nice, I enjoy kicking dandelions and watching the seeds dance in the breeze. I know that kicking dandelions results in more dandelions and a subsequent lowering of property values, but I’ve come to grips with my immoral tendencies in this regard.
Although I laugh all the time, I often make serious expressions in photographs so as to befuddle the historians of tomorrow. “What mighty problem could weigh so heavily upon James’ furrowed brow?” the future Herodotus might wonder. He would never guess that I was thinking about rockets, or Stonehenge, or how to jay-walk in the most outrageous way possible.
Most of my t-shirts have surfboards or kanji on them, even though I have an ambivalent relationship with the water and I don’t speak Japanese. I strongly believe that the best Flintstone vitamin is the purple one, although lately the red one has been growing on me. I enjoy staying up late for extremely trivial reasons and then fumbling around in a haze the next day and pretending like I don't know who did this to me.
I look forward to meeting a woman who likes to talk, laugh, and enjoy the small absurdities of life. A woman with no prison record is required since I have no experience with preventing recidivism. Also, please don't contact me if you're constantly angry and/or you know kung fu---I'm not interested in having a relationship with an ill-tempered ninja. You must not be afraid of irony or its various applications. As a final note, I’m well-known for resolving debates using rock-paper-scissors; thus, you must be comfortable with this conflict resolution system ;-).