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armitage79

34 M Bellevue, WA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:33pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Hi! My name is James and I’m a new arrival to the Seattle area. Although I’m an engineer by trade, I consider myself to be more of a Renaissance man. In this regard I resemble Leonardo da Vinci, although I listen to more Led Zeppelin and I spend less time writing cryptic mirror-reversed notes in my invention journal ;-). I’m generally a laid-back guy, and I spend most of my free time hanging out with friends, doing things like rock-climbing, movie-watching, politics-discussing, and other exciting gerund-based activities. I’m looking for a woman who doesn’t take life too seriously and who isn’t afraid to smile. Other than that, I’m open to all kinds and all types.

I play the electric guitar and I often express my emotions through extended and devastating solos. These solos are typically described by my fans as "savage," "life-altering," and "better than the collected works of Shakespeare." When I am not savaging and devastating, I enjoy buying used CDs, leaving good tips at my favorite restaurants, and wondering where the time went.

When the weather is nice, I enjoy kicking dandelions and watching the seeds dance in the breeze. I know that kicking dandelions results in more dandelions and a subsequent lowering of property values, but I’ve come to grips with my immoral tendencies in this regard.

Although I laugh all the time, I often make serious expressions in photographs so as to befuddle the historians of tomorrow. “What mighty problem could weigh so heavily upon James’ furrowed brow?” the future Herodotus might wonder. He would never guess that I was thinking about rockets, or Stonehenge, or how to jay-walk in the most outrageous way possible.

Most of my t-shirts have surfboards or kanji on them, even though I have an ambivalent relationship with the water and I don’t speak Japanese. I strongly believe that the best Flintstone vitamin is the purple one, although lately the red one has been growing on me. I enjoy staying up late for extremely trivial reasons and then fumbling around in a haze the next day and pretending like I don't know who did this to me.

I look forward to meeting a woman who likes to talk, laugh, and enjoy the small absurdities of life. A woman with no prison record is required since I have no experience with preventing recidivism. Also, please don't contact me if you're constantly angry and/or you know kung fu---I'm not interested in having a relationship with an ill-tempered ninja. You must not be afraid of irony or its various applications. As a final note, I’m well-known for resolving debates using rock-paper-scissors; thus, you must be comfortable with this conflict resolution system ;-).
The first things people usually notice about me
Most people notice my extensive charity work involving orphaned illiterate albino tiger cubs, a community which has traditionally been underserved by standard literacy organizations. People also notice my tireless attempts to personally convince North Korea to abandon nuclear weapons; this is a mission whose success I *will* achieve using charm and, if necessary, ninjutsu. My expansive humility is also award-winning, but, of course, I try not to talk about it, or its award-winning nature, due to my humbleness, a humbleness which, it should be noted (by others), has won awards.
On a typical Friday night I am
On a typical Friday night, I'm at a restaurant with friends, or catching a movie or a show, or reading a book at home (because knowledge is power), or lending my crime-fighting expertise to a local police squad.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
For completely inexplicable reasons, when I was in sixth grade, I decided that my friends should call me Vladimir. There is absolutely no chain of logic that can explain this request. I just woke up one day and declared, “Today, and for the foreseeable future, I am Vladimir.” Surprisingly, many of my classmates agreed to honor the request, most likely because children are foolish and will do foolish things. So, for about a month, I lived as a child Vladimir, doing the things that Vladimir children do (which in my case, mainly consisted of what I was doing already, namely, reading books about dinosaurs, drawing improbable drawings of rocket ships composed of tinier rocket ships, and so on). After a while, AND ONCE AGAIN FOR INEXPLICABLE REASONS, I tired of being a Vladimir and I returned to my original name. So, I guess the moral of the story is, uh, I was a ridiculous child.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
In general, you should contact me if you think that you’re ready for my combustible mix of feral magnetism and excellent SAT scores. Also, please contact me if OKCupid says that we’re less than a 15% match. I have a morbid curiosity about what a conversation with such a person would be like. I imagine that it would be something like . . .

ME: How’s it going?
HER: Pretty well . . . although it’s too bad that the wrong side won the Civil War.
ME: WHAT JUST HAPPENED QUESTION/STATEMENT.

. . . or maybe . . .

ME: Read any good books recently?
HER: Yeah! Glenn Beck’s . . .
ME: NOT IMPRESSED.
HER: . . . and Sarah Palin’s . . .
ME: NO NEED TO FINISH THE SENTENCE.
HER: . . . and Sean Hannity’s . . .
ME: EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS FAILING AND NEEDS TO CHANGE.

You should also write me if you ever wanted to be in a rock band when you were a teenager. Because I did, and I’m still waiting for Axl Rose to call.