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25 F Buffalo, NY

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 20–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Aug 26
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Not at all
Other, but not too serious about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
May 24th 2014: Just added four games to my board game list at the end of my profile, as well as rearranging them a bunch. If this is your first time visiting my profile, this information is pretty much irrelevant to you. :P

I'm polyamorous, and seeking partner(s) to enjoy life with!

Most importantly, however, I'm seeking community members to join my community (which will not be formed anywhere near Buffalo, NY). As of May 2014 I'm extremely close to being ready to form my own sustainable community. More on that later on in my profile.

I'm many different things, and I've been many places, but the most important things about me are thus:

I am always striving to become a better version of myself. I am always remolding my views, my life, my habits and everything around me to suit my newest grandest vision of myself and my life. I like to travel, especially with friends.

Finding the most loving and complete truth within myself is exciting to me. I love to discover myself best through interacting with other people. I especially love to interact with others via games. I love strategy games as well as party games. But not drinking games.

I am a board-game enthusiast and designer.

If you can figure out how to find and answer OKC questions I've authored, super kudos, btw. Please let me know how that is done. :)

Notes on Polyamory: Polyamory is not about having sex with multiple people at once, or about "cheating" while your partner knows about it. Polyamory is loving multiple people at once, completely transparently. There are no secrets, and there need not be any secrets when all actions are in love.

When you open your mind and your heart to love, you find that it is natural to love many people, just like mothers love all of their many children, just like a person can love many siblings, or many aunts and uncles.

I am a relationship anarchist at heart and in theory, but I believe some polyamory hierarchy is somewhat inevitable just due to how much time and investment is put into one relationship versus another. This beautiful short comic shows the different relationship types very clearly, easily and quickly (please do check it out!):

Note: The farther away you live, the better. I need excuses to travel the world!

When I first became active on OKCupid in 2009, I made a quiz. December 2013 I gave the quiz an overhaul. If you enjoy probing questions, self-discovery, or are simply very interested in me, try out my Preferences and Perspective Quiz here:

Including a link to your test results in your message to me definitely gets you kudos.

However, before messaging me, please read the "you should message me if..." section. If you don't qualify, your message will be deleted.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
What I'm doing with my life is forming a sustainable community. I'm not into inefficient, wasteful, unnatural living... And to be frank, that is what most modern "civilized" life is about.

In America, it takes the average people 60% of a home's lifespan to be paid for... Yet, if you build a house with traditional cob methods, it takes less than 1% of the lifespan of the home to pay for it. Besides, you get a house that is fireproof, highly earthquake resistant, hurricane and tornado resistant, nearly soundproof, warm at night, cool during the day, and cob homes are beautiful!

Cob is a careful mixture of clay, sand and straw. Clay and sand, unlike wood, are geological materials that take millennium to wear away. This is why the oldest buildings on the planet are made out of geological materials. Wood, however, can be eaten by bugs and tends to rot over time. Why are we taking down forests for inefficient ugly homes?!

Each member of the community will take part in building their own custom apartment out of cob. Each person gets their own beautiful little space in addition to sharing a large living area, dining area, kitchen, library and so forth. Of course, at first, we'll need to start small.

Someone asked me, "What shape will the house be?"

My reply: Form follows function. Meaning, the house is the shape that best suits all of the functions I need for it. Simple examples:

1. Windows in the south for best passive solar heating (in you live North of the equator, which we do anywhere in the U.S.).
2. Living roof (covered in plants) for great insulation, most ecological (aside from thatch), beautiful appearance, and a lot of flexibility. Less expensive than most forms of roofing titles. Also produces clean roof-run-off water.
3. Window niches looking out onto beautiful garden views created out of sculpted cob. A perfect reading spot with natural lighting, fresh air, and sculpted to provide best reading posture with minimal needed cushions to be arranged.

I have a few dozen people deeply interested in this project and a 20-page document outlining every detail of how the community will work. I've been reading books on the topics and attending relevant workshops for years.

The only thing I'm "waiting" for is the perfect opportunity. Once again, I don't like things to be inefficient. There is probably already a community-minded person or couple or triad out there that owns a fantastic bit of land that is just dying for us to come along and build a beautiful community on their land. I plan on traveling September 2014 through April 2015 until I stumble upon the perfect place, and founding the community in May 2015. If you want to be part of the founding group, let's start the dialogue. If you live anywhere in the U.S. mainland, I could potentially meet you on my road trip.

What else I'm doing with my life:

Experiencing. Being.

Hiking, drawing, reading, writing, dancing, singing, ice skating, meeting new people, healing people of chronic conditions with foods and other natural therapies, giving talks on nutrition, increasing my awareness, meditating, sewing myself organic cotton clothing, buying local, and eating organic!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dancing with abandon
Expressing myself
Board games
Preparing gourmet-quality healthy meals and desserts

Why I Like Board Games So Much
I get asked about this a lot. I found a great video on youtube that says exactly all that I want to say on the topic:

If you can tell me what games are photographed when the text says "dig for gold" or "ride on dolphins" I'll be in your debt! :) (These are around the four minute mark.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My radiant personality. People often say that I have very bright eyes, or a glowing aura.

If I'm wearing clothes that I made, often I'm asked about them.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Feel free to skip this section until after we've exchanged a few messages.

Steven Brust's books, especially his "Vladimir Taltos" series
Flatland by Edwin Abbott
Karen Miller's "Kingmaker, Kingbreaker"
Naomi Novik's "Temeraire" Series
Erica Jong's "Isadora Wing" novels
Carol Berg's books, especially "Flesh & Spirit" and "Breath & Bone"
Jean Auel's "Earth Children" series
Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead"

"The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Hand-Sculpted House" by Ianto Evans, Michael Smith and Linda Smiley
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn
"The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff
"Conversations with God" (the trilogy and the books that follow) by Neale Donald Walsch
"Sugar Blues" by William Dufty
Joan Grant's "Far Memory" books, biography and "Many Lifetimes"
"The Art of Happiness" by Dr. Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama

Note: I'm not a TV person or a movie person. I like to read and to go out and get active.

Anime Movies
Spirited Away
Howl's Moving Castle
Ghost in the Shell: Innocence
Full Metal Alchemist

I listen to music I can dance to, relate to, meditate to or have sex to. I like things ranging from Japanese music, to folk music, to gypsy punk, to modern pop, to oldies to lots of stuff.
Mostly I like good conversation.

Indian classical is the only music I can listen to for hours without becoming annoyed or depressed by the music.

Pomegranates! I love fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and all the incredibly creative things that can be done with them. I make gourmet specialty health foods as part of my business and lifestyle. Some examples:

— The noodles are made from zucchini sliced thinly to make wide thin lasagna noodles.
— The tomato sauce is made with sun-dried tomatoes, fresh basil, spinach, cilantro, parsley, onion and garlic all blended in the food processor.
— The "cheese" is made with cashews that have been soaked, drained and rinsed and then blended with rosemary, dill seed, fresh lemon juice, a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, and sometimes spices such as paprika or cayenne.
— The lasagna is layered several times in a glass container and then I put a lid on it and put in my dehydrator to warm. I never heat it above 120 degrees to retain its full nutrient content.
— This lasagna is gluten-free, sweetener-free, vegan, raw and highly rich in nutrients.

— The crust is made from blending almonds, dates and sea salt together in the food processor. Sometimes I like to add carrot pulp to the crust to give the crust a carrot-cake feel.
— The "cheese" layer is made from soaked cashews, dates and vanilla powder. This comes out rich, creamy, and very much like "real" cheesecake.
— The topping is made from frozen berries, raisins, and sea salt. This gives it a colorful and flavorful contrast.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

My Six Favorite Activities

1. Public Speaking
2. Board Games
3. Dancing and/or Sex
4. Swimming in the ocean
5. Reading and/or Writing and/or Editing
6. Trying something new and interesting
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Finding fun people to learn from. I want to offer more people my gifts, my company, my knowledge. I want more people to travel with, to talk to, to learn from, to play with.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to fulfill my dreams, goals and fantasies.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
. . . designing a board game, out dancing with friends, traveling and visiting clients and/or family, attending a potluck, playing board games, sewing clothing, sleeping, or reading.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I believe in angels, ghosts and aliens. Also, I could define Statutory Rape at ten years old.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to be friends &/or be a part of my community:

1st You're willing to answer these questions in your opening message:

1. Are you interested in living in an cob apartment attached to a few dozen other amazing people in a thriving community? (Rural and self-sustaining, but not necessarily off-grid or remote. This would include high-speed internet.)
2. What struck you most about me while reading my profile?
3. What is the most positive radical lifestyle change you've ever made?

2nd You don't smoke.
3rd You enjoy board games, yoga, spirituality, raw vegan cuisine and/or self-improvement
4th You're willing to meet as friends with no expectations.
5th You're always interested in becoming a better version of yourself.

These must also apply if you want to date me:
1st You're physically fit (Men: six-pack please. Women: flat stomach is preferred, but I'm willing to help you lose weight if you have 40 or less to lose and we're a great match.)
2nd You're polyamorous and not a jealous person.
3rd You have at least a 75% match with me.

Optional bonus: You include a link to your test results from this quiz in your message:

Note: You don't need to read my anything past this point in order to know me well enough to write me a letter. :)

My Full Board Game List: Ranked
Roughly organized with games I most want to play right now (May 24th 2014) towards the top.

* = played
** = own
*** = WANT to own in particular
no stars = heard of it, interested, have not yet played

VivaJava: The Coffee Game***
Power Grid*
Race for the Galaxy**
Stone Age*
Carcassonne: The City**
Le Havre**
Apples to Apples**
Voice of Conscience: Ruby Deck**
Voice of Conscience: Emerald Deck**
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder**
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Card Game**
Voice of Conscience: Sapphire Deck**
Terra Mystica***
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder**
Priests of Ra***
Notre Dame*
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Board Game***
Through the Desert*
Ticket to Ride**
Blue Moon City*
Chicago Express*
The End of the Triumvirate*
Caylus Magna Carta**
Lost Cities*
Traders of Carthage*
For Sale*
Fantasy SG**
Piece o' Cake*
7 Wonders*
Diamonds Club*
Buffy the Vampire Slayer**
Starcraft: The Board Game**
Stratego LOTR**
Chinese Checkers*
Last Word*
Kanasta, Rummy, Spades, Hearts, etc, etc, etc**
Magic The Gathering*
Lunch Money*
Four Square**
Catch Phrase*
Scene It*
Arkham Horror**

El Grande
Puerto Rico
Tigris & Euphrases
A Game of Thrones
San Juan

Games I've played and wouldn't want to play again: Risk (dice-based and dull), Monopoly (overly long and dice-based), Chess (overly long and monotonous), Cards Against Humanity (unpleasantly graphic about some of the worst things in humanity and choked full of references I don't get and don't want to get), Fortress America (too many dice, aesthetically unpleasing), Zombie Dice (dice-based), battleship (boring, mostly luck)

Note: I've played dozens more games that I don't recall the names of.

PS: Yes, I'm vegan. I don't like to make a fuss of that in particular though because I know LOTS of vegans, and I'm not like most of them. They just don't get that just as many animals are harmed in the production of plastic and cars as in eating meat. Stopping suffering is much bigger than avoiding animal products. It's about shopping less in general, about treating your fellow man right, about taking good care of yourself and your possessions.

I don't want to be mistaken for one of those women who goes nuts just because someone eats an egg in front of her or something. I mean, if I threw a hissy fit every time somebody did something bad for the planet I'd have died of a heart attack a long time ago.

PSS: You can increase the accuracy of your rating with an individual by going to "the two of us" tab and then going to answers "she cares about" and then answering some of those that also are important to you. That can make a huge difference in just 10 questions.

Other notes:

My partner's profile is here:

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

My quizzes (made in 2010)
Preferences & Perspectives Quiz

How Taboo & Kinky Are You? Test

"Justice is often just rationalized revenge." ~ Me