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26 Buffalo, NY Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20–55
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
May 24
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Not at all
Other, but not too serious about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Less than $20,000
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Updated 5/24/15.

I'm seeking and creating change in my life right now. I'm in Maryland at the moment and expect to be in Vermont, Maine, New York and Washington before the end of winter 2016.

I'm actively interested in new romance in my life. Someone who can travel, is interested in big changes in their life, is fit, and is very into me.

I love intimacy. I love seeing others as they truly are, with their guard down. I like revealing myself and feeling accepted for my naked, true self. To be seen and to see, deeply, through the heart, is what I want from romance, love, relationships and sex.

I'm polyamorous. I've had the same male partner for the past five years. He's high introverted, whereas I like a lot of attention, cuddling, talking, and sex. It's not in his nature to keep up with me. I need more people to turn to.

Yes, I have friends. But the conversations one days during daylight hours over a cup of tea are quite different than the ones one has at midnight after two rounds of sex. I've an okay amount of the former and am craving much more of the latter.

I have zero interest in a casual-sex relationship. I crave connection. Feeling understood is an aphrodisiac for me.

I'm self-centered in that I'm centered and interested in my self. I am giving, in that I love to give of myself and my talents, which I do best when I center my focus around my own well-being first. I wish more people were selfish, in the sense of actually seeking the truth of themselves.

I love authenticity and honesty, even when the honest truth is that you have an emotional problem with short people and you're madly in love with your sister. Whatever your truth is, I've lived and loved with someone crazier. The hidden parts of people are the most fascinating parts.

I enjoy reinventing myself and exploring unconscious realms. I love tracing my emotions back to the first memory, the first time I felt that way.

Psychology, hypnosis, shadow work and consciousness awareness techniques fascinate me.

I'm a board game designer. It's what I do for fun. I do all the artwork myself. I grew up playing video games and board games, so designing them comes naturally.

This profile is like an analogy of me, where "me" is my ego. My ego is an analogy of my real me. My "real me" is an analogy of the universe. These statements are an analogy for the nature of the universe – expounding on each reality through another analogy.

[About Polyamory]

Polyamory is loving multiple people at once, completely transparently. It is about being your full self with more than one person.

I am a relationship anarchist at heart and in theory, but I believe some polyamory hierarchy is somewhat inevitable. Whomever you have more time and investment with will undoubtedly be dearer to you, right?

This beautiful short comic shows the different relationship types very clearly, easily and quickly (please do check it out!):

[Before You Write Me]

Please read the "you should message me if..." section. If you don't qualify, your message will be deleted.

I meet people every day who I don't have a lot in common with. When it comes to someone I'm seeking on OKCupid, it is important to me that we share a lot in common.

I'm interested in traveling to meet someone special, and potentially molding my life around such a person.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Lately I've been getting to know myself on a deeper level than I realized was possible. I've been using an emotional processing technique that delves into established physical and emotional patterns. The technique finds the root of these patterns and allows you to see and connect with the root... It allows you to accept and forgive yourself in ways that self-help books, talks and documentaries have not allowed me to do. (At least, not on such a scale.)

This, I believe, is critical in my transformation and development as someone who can be a leader. Forming a sustainable community (location not yet decided) is a very dear to my heart intention, but it is a huge endeavor. It isn't happening overnight.

I'm saddened by inefficient, wasteful, unnatural living — the staples of modern "civilized" life.

In America, 60% of a home's lifespan is expended before it is fully paid for... Yet, if you build a house with traditional cob methods, it takes less than 1% of the lifespan of the home to pay for it. Besides, you get a house that is fireproof, highly earthquake resistant, hurricane and tornado resistant, nearly soundproof, warm at night, cool during the day, and cob homes are beautiful!

Cob is a careful mixture of clay, sand and straw. Clay and sand, unlike wood, are geological materials that take millennium to wear away. This is why the oldest buildings on the planet are made out of geological materials. Wood, however, can be eaten by bugs and tends to rot over time. Why are we taking down forests for inefficient, ugly homes?!

[My Dream]

Each member of the community will take part in building their own custom apartment out of cob. Each person gets their own beautiful little space in addition to sharing a large living area, dining area, kitchen, library and so forth. Of course, at first, we'll need to start small.

Someone asked me, "What shape will the house be?"

My reply: Form follows function. Meaning, the house is the shape that best suits all of the functions I need for it. Simple examples:

1. Windows in the south for best passive solar heating (in you live North of the equator, which we do anywhere in the U.S.).
2. Living roof (covered in plants) for great insulation, ecological efficiency (only second to thatch), beautiful appearance, and a lot of flexibility. Less expensive than most forms of roofing titles. Also produces clean run-off water.
3. Window niches looking out onto beautiful garden views created out of sculpted cob. A perfect reading spot with natural lighting, fresh air, and sculpted to provide best reading posture with minimal needed cushions to be arranged.

I have a few dozen people deeply interested in this project and 40+ pages outlining every detail of how the community can work. I understand that all of my plans are really just a rough draft for what will happen in reality. I've been reading books on the topics and attending relevant workshops for years.

The only thing I'm "waiting" for is the perfect opportunity. Once again, I don't like things to be inefficient. There is probably already a community-minded person or couple or triad out there that owns a fantastic bit of land that is just dying for us to come along and build a beautiful community on their land.

[Things I Am Doing]

Hiking, drawing, reading, writing, dancing, singing, ice skating, healing people of chronic conditions with foods and other natural therapies, giving talks on nutrition, increasing my awareness, meditating, sewing myself organic cotton clothing, buying local, and eating organic!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dancing with abandon
Expressing myself
Board games
Preparing gourmet-quality healthy meals and desserts

Why I Like Board Games So Much
I get asked about this a lot. I found a great video on youtube that says exactly all that I want to say on the topic:

If you're interested, ask me about my online diary.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My radiant personality. People often say that I have very bright eyes, or a glowing aura.

If I'm wearing clothes that I made, often I'm asked about them.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Feel free to skip this section. I think the novels and music someone loves is more interesting after we've exchanged some messages and gotten to know each other.

Steven Brust's books, especially his "Vladimir Taltos" series
Flatland by Edwin Abbott
Karen Miller's "Kingmaker, Kingbreaker"
Naomi Novik's "Temeraire" Series
Erica Jong's "Isadora Wing" novels
Carol Berg's books, especially "Flesh & Spirit" and "Breath & Bone"
Jean Auel's "Earth Children" series
Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead"

"The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Hand-Sculpted House" by Ianto Evans, Michael Smith and Linda Smiley
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn
"The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff
"Conversations with God" (the trilogy and the books that follow) by Neale Donald Walsch
"Sugar Blues" by William Dufty
Joan Grant's "Far Memory" books, biography and "Many Lifetimes"
"The Art of Happiness" by Dr. Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama

Note: I'm not a TV person or a movie person. I like to read and to go out and get active.

Anime Movies
Spirited Away
Howl's Moving Castle
Ghost in the Shell: Innocence
Full Metal Alchemist

I listen to music I can dance to, relate to, meditate to or have sex to. I like things ranging from Japanese music, to folk music, to gypsy punk, to modern pop, to oldies to lots of stuff.
Mostly I like good conversation.

Indian classical is the only music I can listen to for hours without becoming annoyed or depressed by the music.

Pomegranates! I love fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and all the incredibly creative things that can be done with them. I make gourmet specialty health foods as part of my business and lifestyle. Some examples:

— The noodles are made from zucchini sliced thinly to make wide thin lasagna noodles.
— The tomato sauce is made with sun-dried tomatoes, fresh basil, spinach, cilantro, parsley, onion and garlic all blended in the food processor.
— The "cheese" is made with cashews that have been soaked, drained and rinsed and then blended with rosemary, dill seed, fresh lemon juice, a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, and sometimes spices such as paprika or cayenne.
— The lasagna is layered several times in a glass container and then I put a lid on it and put in my dehydrator to warm. I never heat it above 120 degrees to retain its full nutrient content.
— This lasagna is gluten-free, sweetener-free, vegan, raw and highly rich in nutrients.

— The crust is made from blending almonds, dates and sea salt together in the food processor. Sometimes I like to add carrot pulp to the crust to give the crust a carrot-cake feel.
— The "cheese" layer is made from soaked cashews, dates and vanilla powder. This comes out rich, creamy, and very much like "real" cheesecake.
— The topping is made from frozen berries, raisins, and sea salt. This gives it a colorful and flavorful contrast.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

My Six Favorite Activities

1. Public Speaking
2. Board Games
3. Dancing and/or Sex
4. Swimming in the ocean
5. Reading and/or Writing and/or Editing
6. Trying something new and interesting
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why aren't people selfish enough? Your world revolves around you. That's great! It should!

Taking care of your needs, getting what you want out of life and being compassionate for yourself is sexy, healthy and beautiful.

It is a lot easier to help others and be compassionate for others when you're really good at helping yourself and loving yourself.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
. . . designing a board game, out dancing with friends, traveling and visiting clients and/or family, attending a potluck, playing board games, sewing clothing, sleeping, or reading.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to be friends &/or be a part of my community:

1st You're willing to answer these questions in your opening message:

1. Are you interested in living in an cob apartment attached to a few dozen other amazing people in a thriving community? (Rural and self-sustaining, but not necessarily off-grid or remote. This would include high-speed internet.)
2. What is the most positive radical lifestyle change you've ever made?

2nd You don't smoke.
3rd You enjoy board games, yoga, spirituality, raw vegan cuisine and/or self-improvement
4th You're willing to meet as friends with no expectations.
5th You're always interested in becoming a better version of yourself.

These must also apply if you want to date me:
1st You're physically fit (Men: six-pack please. Women: flat stomach is preferred, but I'm willing to help you lose weight if you have 40 or less to lose and we're a great match.)
2nd You're polyamorous.
3rd You have at least a 80% match with me.

Optional bonus: You include a link to your test results from this quiz in your message:

Note: You don't need to read my anything past this point in order to know me well enough to write me a letter. :)

Board Games I've Played: Ranked
Roughly organized with games I most want to play right now (January 8th 2015) towards the top.

* = own
*** = WANT to own

Race for the Galaxy*
Lewis & Clark
Heir to the Phoenix Crown*
VivaJava: The Coffee Game***
Power Grid*
Stone Age
Carcassonne: The City*
Castles of Burgundy
Le Havre*
Apples to Apples*
Dominion* (I own Intrigue, Prosperity & Alchemy)
Red 7
Voice of Conscience: Ruby Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Emerald Deck*
Aye, My Overlord
d0x3d! – A Network Security Game*
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Card Game*
Love Letter*
Pounce* (Standard deck of cards game)
Tiny Epic Kingdoms
Decisive Desserts*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Voice of Conscience: Sapphire Deck*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Priests of Ra***
Notre Dame
Through the Desert
Blue Moon City
Chicago Express
The End of the Triumvirate
Caylus Magna Carta*
Lost Cities
Traders of Carthage
Guggenheim* (Requires only pen & paper)
For Sale
Ticket to Ride*
Fantasy SG*
7 Wonders
Piece o' Cake
Diamonds Club*
Buffy the Vampire Slayer*
Starcraft: The Board Game*
Stratego LOTR*
Chinese Checkers*
Last Word*
Kanasta, Rummy, Spades, Hearts, etc, etc, etc*
Magic The Gathering
Lunch Money
Four Square
Catch Phrase
Scene It
Arkham Horror

Games I've not played but have particular interest in playing:

Terra Mystica
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Board Game
El Grande
Puerto Rico
Tigris & Euphrases
A Game of Thrones
San Juan
Games I've played and wouldn't want to play again: Risk (dice-based and dull), Monopoly (overly long and dice-based), Chess (overly long and monotonous), Cards Against Humanity (unpleasantly graphic about some of the worst things in humanity and choked full of references I don't get and don't want to get), Fortress America (too many dice, aesthetically unpleasing), Zombie Dice (dice-based), battleship (boring, mostly luck)

Note: I've played dozens more games that I don't recall the names of.

PS: Yes, I'm vegan. I don't like to make a fuss of that in particular though because I know LOTS of vegans, and I'm not like most of them. They just don't get that just as many animals are harmed in the production of plastic and cars as in eating meat. Stopping suffering is much bigger than avoiding animal products. It's about shopping less in general, about treating your fellow man right, about taking good care of yourself and your possessions.

I don't want to be mistaken for one of those women who goes nuts just because someone eats an egg in front of her or something. I mean, if I threw a hissy fit every time somebody did something bad for the planet I'd have died of a heart attack a long time ago.

PSS: You can increase the accuracy of your rating with an individual by going to "the two of us" tab and then going to answers "she cares about" and then answering some of those that also are important to you. That can make a huge difference in just 10 questions.

Other notes:

My lifetime partner's profile is here:

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

Including a link to your test results in your message to me definitely gets you kudos.

My quizzes (made in 2009, updated 2013)
Preferences & Perspectives Quiz

How Taboo & Kinky Are You? Test (2010)

"Justice is often just rationalized revenge." ~ Me