Creative, attentive, successful, devoted, and punctual; staunch friend; tireless colleague; ravenous intellect; dashing adventurer; charming companion; consummate lover; stupendous human. Unconventional, progressive thinker. Outstanding contributor to the field of excellence.

I am Einsteiny, Casanovaesque, and Adonislike

My biographers have taken refuge in insanity, leaving me to improvise. I apologize in advance.

My mind is voracious and agile, delighting those around me, while my body is a symphony of musculature, restrained power, and effortless grace.

I journey far and wide, always encountering grateful aboriginals whose lives I saved during my earlier adventures.

I am frequently knighted and given honorary degrees.

My personal effects have been deposited on Mars by the Spirit rover, along with a plaque commemorating my achievements.

I wear black and move in a mysterious shadow world of espionage and intrigue.

I sculpt marble figures of surpassing angst, and my paintings adorn the walls of kings and Bono.

My philanthropic organization provides peanut brittle to the disoriented.

My personal staff of hundreds reveres me and I am godfather to most of their offspring.

Twitters relating to my daily tie selection are read by over three million people.

I have counseled Nobel laureates, solved the riddles of sphinxes, and roadied for Spinal Tap.

My lovemaking has inspired both delicate haikus and epic Norse
myth-poems.

I never use elevators, preferring either to race up the stairs or
scale the building's exterior. When I leave, I use a hang glider.

I am able to calm agitated monk seals with my mellifluous flute solos.

I love the finer things, for I drink only meltwater from
icebergs or Scotch that predates the Civil War.

I am sought after by women, who crave my charming attention, my sensual touch, and my utterly disarming puppet shows.

In my spare time I have mapped most of the sea floor and sketched the interiors of many Gothic cathedrals from memory.

I receive fan mail from the Finnish Dairy Council, the Bibliotheque Nationale, and the Illuminati.

My clothing is styled by druids and then heat treated by Jet
Propulsion Laboratories to take into account my kinetic energy. My shoes are stitched in deep Romanian salt caves by a clan of half-blind proto-Neanderthals.

I am frequently hired as a skywriting editor, forever flying in after the lead plane and correcting spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.

I communicate with otters and porpoises, and I am impervious
to lightning, malaria, and vampire bats.

My blood pressure is 110/70.

Scattergories; cooking Cajun food; drawing; nonsense; befriending animals; traveling; listening; empathy.

My latest reviews are in:

“Sleek, agile, muscular ... superb handling. An adrenaline rush!” – Motor Trend

“The feel-good date of the century!” – Rolling Stone

“Once every decade, we witness a paradigm shift – a revolution in the way we view dating. This is that moment, and this is the man.” – The Economist

“If you date only one man this year, make it this one.” – The New York Times

“Dreamy!” – Tiger Beat

All the writings of Mark Leyner and David Sedaris. _This is Spinal Tap_. Tangerine Dream. A shrimp po-boy sandwich.

bunnies
kitties
puppies
horsies
ferretties
marsupials

I'm insatiably curious about the world, its origins, its composition, and how it will end. The sleeping brain, hypernovas, Antarctica, the Renaissance, cooking with cayenne, subatomic particles, gargoyles -- it's all fascinating and delicious.

I also read political blogs and donate to progressive causes. Freedom of thought is the issue most dear to me.

Working out at the gym, then relaxing.

I deliberately misspelled a word during the Dallas city-wide spelling bee in 8th grade, because I feared I would win and have to go on to the state match. I often fear my own excellence.

You are improbable, unique, with a creative spark and unusual interests;

with an artist's soul, a traveler's mind, an odd sense of humor;

a worldview encompassing other cultures;

easygoing, with passions tempered by sweetness;

open minded, active, curious, sensual, tactile, feminine;

love to wear black.