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39 F London, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:35am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Update - July 2014 - I am conducting a teensy experiment, please be a chum and lend a hand...

As a girl on this site, one tends to get a lot of traffic (this has little to do with my wit, charm and looks and more to do with my gender; I get this) but what I am interested in is what makes some people stop & message and others run off into the night (we've all thought this, don't pretend you haven't)..

Of all those who message me, I probably reply to um, like, 3%.. and that's not because I am a grumpy sausage pants, but because we have Nothing Whatsoever In Common.

Or they've just said 'hi' and expected me to wet my knickers (oh dear lord).

Or they've exceeded my exclamation mark threshold.

So, my thoughts are that there must be others out there who I would love to converse with late into the night via a steaming hot laptop of discourse, repartee and Spaced quotes.

So, my simple request to you all is this: if you are about to pass me by, please send me a message just giving 3 words as to why, whatever the reason.

Be nice but I *am* interested.. so, y'know... Not my type, too many wigs, not tall enough, too many words, prefer her brother... don't worry, I won't start stalking you. I am just interested.

Ooh, I may even publish the findings. Y'know, like a proper survey..


I have spent years being told I am 'feisty'. I hate this word, everyone knows I hate this word. However, I have just looked the word up and synonyms include spirited, energetic and aggressive. Oh hell, maybe I am feisty. Although could we change the word aggressive to assertive please? So much more socially acceptable.

As with any woman, nay human, I am a mass of fabulous contradictions and confusion. I possess an ability to move from quiet, spiritual contemplation to dancing like bambi on acid in the time it takes for someone to shout "hey are they playing 'walking on sunshine' by katrina & the waves?".

I no longer listen to or watch the news. It's all just bad, sad, evil, negative and glorified for the sake of Daily Mail readers who want to hate and be angry. I feel happier for it but it does mean I am rubbish at pub trivia or topical conversation.

I am okay with this.
What I’m doing with my life
I work in a theatre making things happen - festivals, shows, salsa parties.. ah, the stuff of life.

I am also a Clinical Hypnotherapist, which basically means I help amazing people access their own amazing inner resources in order to transform their lives and do amazing things.

Currently also trying to branch into new adjectives.
I’m really good at
Using bullet points


What I'm not so good at

finding bullet points on a keyboard

That is all.
The first things people usually notice about me
energy, life, beard

the wig

the corset

lately, the hat (trilby, top hat...)

body paints (there is surely no better way to make friends at a festival than by painting a nice sunshine on someone's face)

most of these probably wouldn't apply if you first saw me in sainsburys

in fact, I doubt you would notice me at all, so consumed would my attention be by the cheese counter
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books by my bed right now include stuff by Mark Gatiss, Sandi Toksvig, a collection of bisexual women's erotica, a shamanic healing book and some Natural Health magazines. Mm, not sure if these necessarily define me. Christ, maybe they do.

My film viewing tends to lend itself to the french arthouse genre. Like hell it does. Basically, 10 years ago this list would have read like some posh swanky film nerd's list but at present my favourite films tend to have a plotline that moves something along the lines of girl meets nasty boy, girl gets dumped by nasty boy, girl meets another much more socially adjusted boy, something prevents the second meeting of boy and girl (missed train, death of a small child, some crazy mix up in communication...) and having forgotten to exchange any kind of contact details they lose touch (which also serves to make her rather bitter and distrusting of all boys due to her experience with 'nasty' boy to add to all this), years later they meet again at a charity fundraising event where she wins him in a slave auction and all that sillyness of years gone by is forgotten in a final kiss, oh and a wedding (obviously).

Am willing to be converted on the above.

Mid profile update: After having occasionally glanced over my own profile for what... months now... I have only just spotted my incorrect spelling of the word 'silliness'...

"Oh what a terrible shame; she would've been perfect were it not for that classic y/i mix up. Sure we could date, but it would always be on my mind".

I have recently discovered the rather delicious form of dance known as bachata and suddenly life makes sense. Basically the man has to sort of pop his leg between the woman's legs whilst they both do lots of wiggling of hips/bottoms. Those with a knowledge of the dance may feel I have left some of the finer details out. So, this kind of music now sits alongside all my old rock, soul, pop, blues, new country and the soundtrack from shark tale.

Sometimes chilli makes me hallucinate and I am always keen to replicate this experience.

Just been having a Chris Morris night and nearly did a wee...
The six things I could never do without
La Rueda

...oh, and the kids I guess.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I don't. I have the attention span of a gnat. But I am rather partial to a good list.
On a typical Friday night I am
Eating Christmas pudding.

This will still be applicable in June.

Update: It is June. It is still applicable.

Update #2: It is still June and I had some Christmas pudding today. It didn't feel right.

Update #3: Right, let's just forget the whole Christmas pudding thing; it's no longer working for me.

Update #4: November and I am feeling the urge... may just pop out for mince pies and break myself back in slowly.


Oh god I haven't had Christmas pudding in *months* and feel I just want to delete EVERYTHING. But, oh the *waste*.. all that history right there, on the page... new visitors may never know...

August 2013: it's a bit nippy out tonight and I am starting the countdown...

Fuck it, the fire is lit. It'll be October in a few days. Man, that's pretty much Christmas, right?

March 2014: Shit, looks like I'm back on a dating site.

July 2014: oh look, back again. Well that went well didn't it?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
'Live & let live' is a motto I live my life by but when confronted by the sight of by very fat people in tracksuits (velour preferably), eating burgers, I kinda feel the urge to shout something iniquitous.. if they could be hanging around outside an Asda then all my social prejudices combine and I generally need to wash.

People who apply the phrase "well if i told you then it wouldn't be private" are missing the point somewhat and I shall never marry them.

I am 39 but I look and act absolutely fuck all like I am 39.

Just sayin' ... y'know, to all you 40 year old men out there who would date a 22 year old (*squeak... akkk*) but GOD FORBID you would ever have to clap eyes on the soiled crumpled flesh of a 39 year old.

Yeah, you know who you are.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 36–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You have an interest in the natural world that extends further than liking the Meerkat from the TV ad

You are ginger or ginger-at-heart (y'know, a bit spiritual/tree huggy/good to your mum/kindsexyclever/openly weeps when king kong gets killed/dancing queen/always wondered if maybe you were just a tiny bit gay...) UPDATE: absolutely nobody I have fancied this year so far has been ginger. Apart from that guy in that bar. But he left before I could turn on the allure. Oh, and one other. *sighs*

Your body knows how to dance. Not just your feet hunny. Anyone who can Salsa, Kizomba or Bachata can queue jump (oh get me)

You understand that just because I've listed casual sex, it isn't a promise; it's a potential. Just something i need to clear up... y'know, because i often meet someone who has listed 'long term dating' and assume we're launching into a long term exclusive relationship.

Your search criteria age range extends both below AND above your age. If I haven't replied to a message, check your settings (and your motives)... I don't need to compete with girls young enough to be my daughter. I am far too interesting for you, thank you.

you are planning to use more than 7 words for your opener and none of them involve the phrase "hi bunnie wanna fuk?". Come on, pretend you are the clever ones... this isn't pof for Christ's sake.