1. I love my independence. If you think i will devote all available time to you and only you then be ready for disappointment.
2. I will pay for almost everything. Meals, drinks, parking or even household items. Unfortunately, a new $6000 handbag isn't one of em.
3. I love concerts and i like attending them with like minded friends. I may not invite you solely because you have no idea who the band is.
4. I will listen to your problems and not comment if you're venting, but if you ask my opinion, then accept it instead of hoping I'll side with yours.
5. I won't lie to you. I will tell you the truth about everything. Don't get mad if you ask me if i think the girl at the bar is pretty and i say yes.
6. I hate doing any form of physical work. Putting together an Ikea cabinet is fine. Putting up an entire house full of Ikea products is ridiculous.
7. I'm sarcastic and I will make fun of you in a funny way. And sometimes in a mean way which i will apologize profusely after. I have a knack for digging my own grave. I'm trying to kick the habit.
8. I won't carry your handbag while you go to the bathroom. I will leave it on the bar and stare at it with hawk-eyes till you come back.
9. I will open doors for you. Car doors too! its not because of chivalry, but because sometimes you slam the door too hard.
10. I will tweet about you. I won't name you but you'll know its you.
11. I don't cook but i have a kitchen so you can.
12. I don't wear shorts because i have skinny legs. I've gotten over it, so should you.
13. I like kids as long as they're not mine. I like the option of giving em back to their parents when they become unruly/crying/need a diaper change.
14. If I'm out with friends and don't text you its not because i don't care. It's because I'm having too much fun.
15. If I talk to girl in front of you its not to make you jealous, its simply because I find what she said interesting and that's it. If I'm with you, I'm WITH YOU.
16. There will be times when I will hang with my friends because I have more fun with them than staying home and watching a DVD with you.
17. I wont cheat on you. My father was an adulterer and I promised myself not be like him.
18. I run my own business. It needs me and I need it. Without it, I'll be living in my car. Don't get mad if I dedicate a majority of time to work. It pays for our dinners, holidays and my CD collection.
19. I'm not ashamed to admit that cockroaches scare the living daylights out of me. Especially the flying ones. If you like role-play, this is the time to be Xena.
20. When I travel without you, I may check in sporadically. I'm a very out-of-sight-out-of-mind person. I'll text daily to check-in but if there is a 15 hour time-difference then it's gonna be difficult.
21. If you don't like my friends then we have a problem. They are important to me and I would like for everyone to co-exist since you're a big part of my life.
22. I'm still close to a number of ex-girlfriends, ex-fling's, ex-fuck-buddies. They are JUST FRIENDS now. Nothing more. So there is really no need to be insecure.
23. I will spoon you when I fall asleep. I like the feeling of skin on skin so take off your clothes.
24. I may grope your tits in public. It's like my safety-blanket.
25. I drink too much sometimes. Well, maybe not sometimes.
26. Partying till 7am is nothing new. I hope you'll be with me but if it isn't your scene then don't be upset if i come back late.
27. Don't force me to do something that doesn't interest me like watching polo unless there is horse tranquilizer for me to snort.
28. My friends are idiots and some are quite frankly, retarded. I know that but i love em anyway.
29. I like sitting around and making up stories about other people in the room. Its fun and I hope you do too.
30. I've been alone for a long time. It may take some time for me to be the boyfriend you want and I hope you have the patience to put up with my nonsense till that day comes. There are rubies in the saddle.
This was written maybe 3 years ago so certain things don't apply as much as they once did.
Except number 24. That's still a thing. :p