For those of you who have read my previous posts I have GREAT news!
HE HAS CHANGED! A little, but its better! He has switched shifts at his minimum wage job so we are now on the same shift spending MORE time together! Gotten a raise! Which is better then nothing! Started helping out around the house A TON more! Paid ALL our bills and then some ( like if the bill was 190 he put 200 down.) I knew he could change and he is! All I did was talk to him and basicly tell him that "everyone is telling me to leave you and your not giving me any reason not to" and he snaped outta it like THAT! I'm very happy with this turn around. I'll keep you ALL posted on new happenings!
The only down side to all of this was among our fighting he let it slip that my engagment ring is FAKE!!! I had it tested and true enough it is. He has said we'll go shopping for a "REAL" one soon! All in ALL I don't mind because I didn't really like this one very much to begin with... I'm not much of a yellow gold person...

I have a shitty soap oprea life! Wanna hear some more!
My dad hasn't wished me happy birthday in 7 years- he's spent the last 4 of them in jail
I have a half brother that I went to school with but didn't know he was my brother until SENIOR year!
My dads a meth addict.
my momscrazy on more levels then any human can imagen.
I have bi-polar disorder "so they say"
I push everyone I love any and hold on to everyone who couldn't give a shitless
I use to light things on fire , including the trailor I grew up in.
My younger brother thinks hes emienm.
I have met some of the weirdest crasiest people working the front desk at the bigest hotel in a tiny town. plus much much more!

Well my fiance has fucked up gain and I'm about two steps from the door.
He didn't pay the eletric bill which is only one of the TWO bills I ask him to pay. So its getting disconnected tomorrow. Why did he not pay this you ask? GOOD FUCKING QUESTION!
He just said that he "didn't have the money" which I think means "i spent it on weed" I'm soo tired of this shit... I'm about ready to snap.
Why does he do this to me? Am I not worthy of his affection? I am not pretty enough? Or smart enough? I feel pretty fucking dumb for taking care of his for all this time.
I work 40 hours a weeek so that he can dick off at his burger job! And he thinks hes got it sooo bad working 20-30 hours a week at fuck BURGER KING!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do I have to love asshole. Why can a nice guy thats good to me come along.
IF YOUR OUT THERE PLEASE FIND ME! I don't want a prince. Just not an asshole!

I want someone who will watch anime with me and not get mad when I ask questions.

Someone who will go out to dinner with me somewhere we don't have to take it home in a bag! I WANT TO SIT DOWN DAMN IT!

Go to the movies with me.

Go out to play pool and have a couple drinks.

Someone who will be HAPPY to see me when he gets home, not push me away because his bong in more important.

Someone who will just love me for who I am.
Are you out there? Anywhere?

With a BANG!
Okay not so much of a bang.
Today is like any other in this humdrum life of mine.
My fiance and I got into a fight again. This time it was in regards to the fact that he REFUSED to pick me up from work because the heat is out in his car. Up until a month ago we had one car and that was my baby (a 1994 toyota celica.) I let him take it EVER WHERE. We share'd been sharing this car for about a year. Well he finelly got a car about 3 weeks ago. Then last week I was cruising down the highway and my car goes BOOM! Come to find out all the times I'd asked him to put oil in the car he had forgot. No my baby needs a new engine, and he's keeping his car to himself like a god damn kid holding on to candy. Its it really so much to ask for him to let be borrowand/or drive me to and from work? Did I mention I make all the money?! I pay all the bills and put gas in his car. He works a shitting minimum wage job! GR I have a right to be pissed right?
The good news is my new bestest friend and I have been spending LOTS of time together. She's great he's helping me out A LOT with these marriage stuff and fighting and making up. A question I brought up to her yesterday was this: Is it wrong that I ONLY want to have sex with my fiance for the rest of my life? He seems to think that I fucking crazy to think this. Even askig permission to FUCK some WHORE at his bachlor party.
I don't know if this marriage is such a good idea any more......