i just want someone to share in my secrets... and not run away.

you should message me if:
1) you're cool with chatting and possibly even meeting up for "fun timez"
2) you want someone to talk smack with [i want somebody to talk smack with].
3) you're really, REALLY bored but are NOT boring.

if you don't mind someone who is maybe a little strange, then you're probably on the right track. i am a little strange. there are probably other words i could use that would sound more complimentary, like "unique" or "exquisite" or something, but no - i think 'strange' is most fitting.

but i say this mainly because i've spent my whole life not really fitting in with other people. i've never really belonged to a social group, i have always been a loner. and i'm not sure if i savor up my alone time to this day because i had to get used to it as a child? or maybe i've somehow alienated myself from all my peers because of my strong desire for "me time"? geez, it's kind of like the chicken and the egg riddle!

being alone has never bothered me much, but i'm not anti-social. i like being around people. a lot of folks say that "they hate people", but people make me happy, usually.

so it's too bad i'm such a poor conversationalist.

no, i shouldn't say that. actually, i can be a lot of fun to talk to, i'm just very reserved, and i hate small talk.

i'm hardly ever serious. seriously! i'd almost always much rather be silly and giddy than serious. i use humor to brighten any dark situation, and i sing when i feel like crying.

okay, enough stream-of-consciousness talk. here are some Fun Facts About Ashley:

+i don't wear makeup. i really hate the stuff.
+i'm obsessed with pretty stationary, zines, postcards, calendars, cards, notebooks... anything paper really. i spend far too much money each month on it.
+speaking of zines, i'm writing one now. it's a short story zine, and the theme is fairy tale. it's been really fun writing it. i love zines, because like snowflakes, no two are the same, it's non-profit and made with love, and it's all so i can feast my eyes on it's creative goodness. there's something admirable in that.
+i'm left-handed!
+tornado's scare me more than your average joe. i used to have vivid dreams involving tornadoes [of all shapes and sizes] on a regular monthly basis, but it's stopped the last couple years. weird. i can't imagine what it signifies.
+my voice makes me sound about 12-years-old, but i swear i'm not.
+i have a loud, embarrassing laugh.
+i crack my knuckles like crazy.
+i'm obsessed with bath & body works lotion, but i hate the body sprays.
+i don't like perfume. i think it all smells like shit.
+i've been known to haunt the bookstore. i'm the kind of girl that will sit there all night, leaning against the wall with my nose in a book, and then promptly buy it as soon as it's finished. i prefer to read in book stores. they always smell good, and they're filled with quiet, thoughtful people. see, i told ya i like being around people, even if we aren't talking!
+i name all my gadgets and stuffed animals. my laptop (Clementine because it's orange), my iPod (ivory), my elephant Wee, and my teddy bear Lollie. though not my cell phone.
+i'm way open about music and film, but i tend to like what i call "vaginal music", and i'm quite fond of dark, morbid comedies, like Fargo.
+i'm fascinated with all things from the 18th and 17th century and i have an obsession with fairy tales stories. i read a lot of period piece novels.
+i am freaking obsessed with online shopping. some of my favorite internet shops are Parcellpress, Etsy, cutxpaste, bangbangyourethread, Torrid, and Elsewares.
+i'm really bad at faking, which is why i hate small talk. if i don't like someone, it's practically impossible for me to hide it, though that doesn't mean i'm a bitch that goes around starting shit all the time either. i just don't believe in being all sweet to someone and then talking about them behind their back. i'm even more of a closed book around people i do not like, and do not lead people on. this is a trait of mine that has always annoyed the shit out of my Mom, who believes i should make nice with everybody. but ah well, fuck it.
+i'm very inconsistent. i change my mind more than i change my underwear. it drives my boyfriend crazy.

i attend college. i'm going to be a school teacher! i started my college education a bit on the late side, but it was mostly because i had no idea what to do with myself. i guess it's sort of ironic that i struggled with school as a child and now i want to spend my days in a classroom. i think it sort of dawned on me how rewarding an experience it would be to teach a child that has a hard time learning and comprehending [the way i did!]. if there is one childhood memory i'll never forget, it's the 5th grade. the teacher was awesome. i'd like for at least one child to say that about me someday.

my day job at the moment is a monotonous office job, to do with nothing that interests me, but it pays the bills, has great benefits, and i have an awesome boss and great coworkers, so all is not lost. i hope to stay there until i graduate college.

i've sort of got a "five-year plan" going on. whereas, hopefully, in five years, i'll: be a college graduate with a teaching certificate (yay!); live with my boy toy in our own place, where we can buy lots of cute things for our apartment, like prints and spoons; spend my nights correcting papers, cuddling, laughing at bad movies, knitting, watching films, or reading.

reading people, or i like to think so. and i'm a fabulous listener. (even if i might interrupt you a zillion fucking times to ask questions).

probably my large breasts, or the fact that i'm a little nervous (i usually am when i meet someone new). sigh.

books:
right now i'm reading The Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami. i tend to have a soft spot for the classics, though. favorites below!

favorites include!
wuthering heights - emily bronte
the catcher in the rye - j.d. saligner
the little prince - antoine de saint-exupéry
she's come undone - wally lamb
the curious incident of the dog in the night-time - mark haddon
american psycho - brett easton ellis
norwegian wood - haruki murakami
kafka on the shore - haruki murakami
the elephant vanishes - haruki murakami
girl with a pearl earring - tracy chevalier
the great woman of china - xinran
the bell jar - syliva plath
the great gatsby - f. scott fitzgerald
maus - art spielgelman
the lovely bones - alice sebold
shirley jackson short stories
& the harry potter books!

films
amelie, the virgin suicides, pans labyrinth, breakfast at tiffanys, aladdin, king of kong, rosemarys baby, the descent, secretary, the station agent, american psycho, ghost world, sophies choice, spirited away, children of men, welcome to the dollhouse, adaptation, chinatown, glengarry glen ross, paper moon, united 93, y tu mamá también, suddenly last summer

music
regina spektor, patty griffin, kate bush, joanna newsom, joni mitchell, lemon jelly, 5 of 6, liz phair, ani difranco, hanne hukkelburg, air, belle and sebastian, carla bruni, laura veirs, catherine feeny, the dixie chicks, the divine comedy, fiona apple, natalie merchant, suede, tegan and sara, tori amos

television
six feet under, spaced, buffy the vampire slayer, angel, fat actress, southpark, 30 rock

food
chocolate chip cookies. fettuccine alfredo (though i've kind of went off it now because it never agrees with my sensitive tummy). my mom's budka bread (it's a family recipe, and it's phenomenal). chicken tenders with extra honey mustard. veggie pockets with mushrooms and cheese. crab rangoons. egg drop soup. chicken mcnuggets (i'm not proud). mint chocolate chip and coffee heath bar ice cream. peaches, plums, pears. green grapes. broccoli. green bean casserole. turkey. dumplings. CHEESE.

grapes, boyfriend, internet, stimulating conversation, memories, orgasms.

things that make me smile. i smile a lot out of nowhere. no kidding, people often catch me in the act.

groping around for some loose change to tip the pizza boy.

not that long ago, i made my own envelope. i just felt like it. i took a piece of wrapping paper, made folds in it by examining another envelope i had taken apart, and then sewed the sides together so it was durable.

it came out an awful, wrinkly old mess.

you are a girl.

you like a lot of the same music as me, (Regina, Patty, Joanna, and the other gurlz!)

you got some sort of tingly feeling while reading my profile.

you know how to knit.

you read a lot of books, or watch a lot of films and are open-minded about them.

you are a fan of etsy, cutxpaste, bangbangyourethread or any of those other cute online shops.

i'd rather you only message me if you have something interesting to say. i don't want to sound intimidating. it's not like i consider myself incredibly smart or clever, i just don't want to talk to someone that has nothing to say. at least skim the profile first! what's the point in talking if we have nothing in common? FYI: saying "how are you tonight" and stopping there is a dead end conversation.