If you liked me and would like me to message you, delete some messages so your mailbox has space for me to send a message. ;)
UPDATED: DEC 2015
I returned to California mid November after two years in Las Vegas. Still not sure if I was in Abu Dhabi, Deadwood or Mayberry. Why did I take my native California for granted? It's been 3.29 months since my last relationship (which lasted a year). I feel like I'm in a 12 Step Program to Remain a Single Guy ... and stepped into absolutely the wrong meeting. I seek to cautiously develop friendships that in no way compromise my career or my recovery. Of course most take that to mean I'm talking liquids or substances, LOL! This is why I mock people for a living. Many people are attracted to me ... then want to change me, change the very things that fuel and deliver the funny, outgoing personality people seem to enjoy. I possess monumental trust issues. I've lost the desire to prove I'm romantic. Just let me be me. You'll have to chase me without getting TMZ creepy. Demonstrate a little curiosity. Prove yourself to me. Or treat me to a day at LACMA or The Getty. You're liberated, right? Sorry, but when I can again afford to nearly make the USA Today Valentine's Day issue for how romantic I can get with money, it will be too late for me to divine whether I can trust you when the zombies come. I sleep at night because instead of stealing or selling or banking or waging war I entertain humans. For this moral decision I suffer temporarily financially. To do otherwise is an example I'd hate to give my son. So if your profile has "seeking financially stable..." I encourage you to read Candide, steer clear of my son, and put your phone down because I'm certain you're missing the next episode of The Bachelor.
Good luck romancing me.
Oh will you need it and how...
Other people take this to mean I live at home with my parents, party, drink, and consume prescription and illegal drugs. As a former girlfriend I met here (a rocket scientist for a well known defense contractor) put it, I'm an "AMW" (Actor, Model, Whatever). What I really do is make people laugh daily for a living as I seek gigs as a member in good standing of the Screen Actors Guild. I read. I own a .org domain I dream of one day helping to make the world a better place. Because a crisis or two of mine are universal. I struggle daily with yet to be professionally diagnosed PTSD from multiple traumas including my religious childhood, events surrounding writing and my stint in college. (See the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.) My best relationships are with my audiences, film directors and crew. Relationships with family and friends bewilder me. My randomly infrequent social drinking stubbornly refuses to mature into a healthy alcoholism. I take no illegal or prescription drugs. Taking the occasional ibuprofen I consider a major life decision. My passion to be fully lucid and sober to perform daily undermines any effort to "tune out". I envy the support groups that help people with substance abuse issues. I've yet to find the support group that addresses my apparently rather unique combination of challenges. Despite flirting with poverty since 2007, rarely with a car, I've managed to develop an IMDb with dozens of credits, I've created an improv comic character tourists and audiences from around the world love and pay for, I've written comedy lines others performed on camera for major network prime-time sitcoms, and I've dozens of Verified Accounts in entertainment, politics, media and causes following my tweets. But I'm not a DJ. Ergo, I'm a loser. See, you really didn't want honesty, did you? When I become financially attractive, it will be difficult for me to respect you. Because feminism means "I want a man who can take care of me [financially]".
Oh, and immediately losing ANY interest in those who "strongly prefer to date my own ethnicity", dislike reading literature or discovering other cultures, and have rules for the sexual & marriage choices of others.
NPR, NBC Nightly News, BBC World Update, The Onion, Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast, Marc Maron's WTF, Greg Proops Smartest Man in the World, KCRW's The Business, Alec Baldwin's Here's the Thing, Jeff Garlin's gig, This Week in Google, Lifehacker, NYT Book Review, Freakonomics, Inside Acting, Everything Acting...
LITERATURE (aka BOOKS)
[I catalog my reading on GoodReads and plan to network there for novels & screenplays I need to write.]
** Currently reading, 27+ titles include **
Infinite Tides (Christian Kiefer)
Lenny Bruce an autobiography: how to talk dirty and influence people
Life (Keith Richards)
Roughing It (Twain)
Seriously Funny: the Rebel Comics of the 1950's and 1960's
** biographies, what Christopher Hitchens called literature, other favs **
Cyrano de Bergerac
Death of a Salesman
God Is Not Great: How Religion Destroys Everything (Hitchens)
Grapes of Wrath
Great Gatsby, The
If (poem by Kipling)
Merchant of Venice...
Star Trek (Shatner, TNG & Pine), The Big Lebowski, Drive, Heat, Casablanca, Swingers, The Fifth Element, Oceans 11-13, Blade Runner, Watchmen, Meet Joe Black, [anything] Monty Python, Usual Suspects, Blazing Saddles, M*A*S*H, Kelly's Heroes...
Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, Leonardo DiCaprio, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Judy Densch...
TELEVISION & NEW MEDIA - watching Borgias, Archer, Arrested Development, just started How I Met Your Mother ... favs include Mad Men, Star Trek, House of Cards, Battlestar Galactica (w/Eddie James Olmos), Sherlock, Miami Vice, SNL, Colbert Report, The Tudors, Californication...
COMICS [again, OkCupid, no comics here? Am I here to find some sexless wretch determined that I find Jesus in a manner that might somehow forgive the sins of her father?]
Count Basie, Led Zeppelin, The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Sinatra, The Pretenders, Paul Simon, Beatles, Stones, Sheryl Crow, Royksopp...
Sexual & other physical activity
(I don't mention children or pets or Vulcans or time lords ... because they are sentient creatures, not things one owns - if you can't read, please go back to your People magazine, reality TV and whining about how men do not respect your mind and adroit analysis of Candide.)
"The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question - is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.' And we...kill those people"
That I'm not one of your fabulous gay friends ... that I might actually want to sleep with you, but these days I'm a bit more reluctant to do anything about it.
That artists tend to capture my trust quicker than those holding guns and money.
That I should read more and think better.
That I'm clearly socially awkward in America because those different from me and my experiences tend to attract, delight and embrace me.
How to encourage the artist within.
All that time in Sunday School could have been so much better spent discovering Candide, Dickens, more Twain, Zeppelin, and the glorious female form.
My dad/uncle/priest never touched me ... and I endeavor to adequately empathize ... but I'm still not them.
People who tell me I'm smart clearly have no idea how much literature, theater, comedy, music, film and life I've yet to experience.
The wives and girlfriends of employees of Arthur Anderson, Enron, Washington Mutual and Bernie Madoff investors believed their guy was financially secure.
If/when my net worth catches your attention, it will be too late for a "long-term relationship" with me ... let alone my respect.
Prostitution strikes me as more honest and ethical than many marriages .... or professions.
Free expression is never free.
You can easily visit me or I can easily visit you within 20 minutes via public transportation.
You are liberated enough to make first contact.
BORING LEGAL AND MILDLY PREACHY STUFF ...
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