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askewedone13

34 / M / Straight / Available

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

His journal posts

Saw this question and just *had* to

May 2, 2009

So, let's put up the question.... In question. (Okay, that's pretty bad, I know.)

If your partner wanted to pay for you, as a couple, to see a professional dominatrix would you go?

Had to chuckle a bit when this popped up today. Mainly because I can't see it happening. Firstly because, well, we couldn't afford it. Secondly, although I'm into kink, if it's not a portion of an overall relationship, I wouldn't pay for even just myself to do it. Thirdly, as BDSM is very sexual to me, this would rate more or less along the lines of prostitution, and I don't travel down that road. Forth on the list is that I prefer to have a strong personal connection and preferably relationship, with whomever I may be playing with. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, my partner already *is* a dominant female. Perhaps not the stereotypical leather cat-suited dominatrix with thigh-high boots, whip in one hand, and other out for financial tribute. Besides, that outfit would more likely turn me off than get me excited.

To bore further into my skull on this, I'd have a hard time developing any true sense of trust. I know that may sound a touch odd, as the person in question here would be a professional. And although to me, that would set up a sense of safety, as anyone who would be able to pursue this as a career path would have to keep their play partners intact, there's no real way of knowing if what they would want to do to me, is what I'd actually want done to me. Even with negotiations beforehand, if it's someone who would go along the lines of degrading me, and tossing me away at the end of a session so they can fit in the next appointment, just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Trust is more than just knowing that I'm not going to be hurt (too) badly, it's also knowing that they are going to be there afterwords for me in case of a "crash."

Besides, I'm happy with what it is that we do to not want to employ the services in this manner of somebody else. I may not have a heaping ton of kinks, but the ones I do have do run along nicely with my partner as it is. Even if we are looking to bring in another partner to the relationship.

~AO13
So, let's put up the question.... In question. (Okay, that's prettybad, I know.)

If your partner wanted to pay for you, as a couple, to see aprofessional dominatrix would you go?

Had to chuckle a bit when this popped up today. Mainly because Ican't see it happening. Firstly because, well, we couldn't affordit. Secondly, although I'm into kink, if it's not a portion of anoverall relationship, I wouldn't pay for even just myself to do it.Thirdly, as BDSM is very sexual to me, this would rate more or lessalong the lines of prostitution, and I don't travel down that road.Forth on the list is that I prefer to have a strong personalconnection and preferably relationship, with whomever I may beplaying with. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, my partneralready *is* a dominant female. Perhaps not the stereotypicalleather cat-suited dominatrix with thigh-high boots, whip in onehand, and other out for financial tribute. Besides, that outfitwould more likely turn me off than get me excited.

To bore further into my skull on this, I'd have a hard timedeveloping any true sense of trust. I know that may sound a touchodd, as the person in question here would be a professional. Andalthough to me, that would set up a sense of safety, as anyone whowould be able to pursue this as a career path would have to keeptheir play partners intact, there's no real way of knowing if whatthey would want to do to me, is what I'd actually want done to me.Even with negotiations beforehand, if it's someone who would goalong the lines of degrading me, and tossing me away at the end ofa session so they can fit in the next appointment, just doesn'tappeal to me in the slightest. Trust is more than just knowing thatI'm not going to be hurt (too) badly, it's also knowing that theyare going to be there afterwords for me in case of a "crash."

Besides, I'm happy with what it is that we do to not want to employthe services in this manner of somebody else. I may not have aheaping ton of kinks, but the ones I do have do run along nicelywith my partner as it is. Even if we are looking to bring inanother partner to the relationship.

~AO13
Saw this question and just *had* to
An image of VegasSpitfire *nod* Although, one of my friends IS a professional dominatrix, I certainly would not want to see one for money either alone, or as a couple. Unless to see my one friend, and then as a friend and not in her professional capacity. Although, I do have voreuristic tendencies so I might really enjoy sitting in on one of her sessions. Also, I want to add that since meeting her, my views on professionals has changed greatly. She is the real thing, not one of those immature money grubbers who uses the title of "professional domina" as a reason to keep their grubby hands out, demanding financial tributes and gifts from their numerous online wishlists. For some people, it is a passion for a job, not the other way around.

VegasSpitfire commented on May 30, 2009

An image of askewedone13 I can understand that. And perhaps my view is a bit skewed from my own run-ins from some that I've seen online that fall into the money grubbing category rather than the ones who do it more for the love of the act itself, rather than the payout. Either way it goes, though, as it currently stands, those needs are filled without having to refer to a professional. So it's not like I've been piling through listings of them to see the actual differences between the two different "sects" for want of a better word.

askewedone13 commented on May 30, 2009