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27 Chicago, IL Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Dec 15, 2014
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from law school
Seeing Someone
Dislikes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Latin (Okay), Ancient Greek (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You know what's hard? Making new friends. That's why I find dating sites a little funny. Making out with people is easy. You go to a bar (or coffee place, or park, or petting zoo...) and say some things to a person you think is hot and sometimes they let you put your mouth on their mouth.

Making friends, though, that's way harder. You can't just pop into someone else's conversation about hugging every cat and be like "THAT IS ALSO MY LIFE GOAL." Well, probably you can. Probably I'm just not as good at it as people who are less awkward than me. But whatever, that's not the point.

The point is this: young adults--we're all pretty good at getting laid. What we suck at is making friends. College forces us together, then we all move away and have to start over again alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... can I seamlessly friendzone you at this point in our relationship to avoid any awkwardness later?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Semi-pro recreational nudity.

Professional candy bowl filler.

Also, hugs.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Let's be honest here. My life skills are basically consumption (both literally in the "wine" sense, and figuratively in the "unabashed capitalism" sense), production (cookies, legal documents, body heat), and naps.

I can help you pick out a new wardrobe, and if you swing that way I'll teach you all about how to do lady things like applying makeup and wearing heels.

I can also quote things from the internet. Like all the time. One time I caught myself using pidgin in a legal document. The Plaintiff apparently can has justice.

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Saying you don't know how to answer this question is the "Hello world" of profiles.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Russian lit, Post-modern philosophy, Plath, Eliot, Sexton. I have a deep and abiding love for my Kindle.

Movies: American Beauty, Exit through the Gift Shop, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind if I’m being impressive. Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Mean Girls if I’m not.

Shows: Downton Abbey, New Girl, Community, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Frasier, Doctor Who and more or less anything funny and light that I can keep on in the background while I paint my nails.

Music: Happy indie rock. I cannot get enough of bands like Matt & Kim, The Avett Brothers, Silverspun Pickups, The Strokes, and The Naked and Famous. I also have a recent obsession with Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos who, although not happy at all, are brilliant.

Food: Yes, please. High brow, low brow, as long as it’s delicious and preferably served with wine. Also, I can cook and I am never bashful with butter.

Webcomics: xkcd, qwantz, qc, wondermark, dr. cat, oglaf (nsfw), achewood
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Australia, and Europe.

Antarctica can go fuck itself.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What to make for dinner. Is butter a carb? How to most efficiently turn regular life activities into drinking games. Can you put that in a cookie? What material object I absolutely cannot do without next. How much leg is too much leg at work? How soon until I can see my cat again. Can I nap under that? But seriously, though, I miss my cat.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Making mischief. Causing mayhem. Reading books?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My personal ideal of physical beauty really just involves me looking more like Zooey Deschanel.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to take up swing, know of a good wine-tasting, or want to reenact scenes from Downton Abbey with me. I will also accept friendship applications from people needing shopping buddies, drinking buddies, and eating out too much buddies. If you're just in it for my cookies I forgive you, they're damn good.