I'm into meaning; ennui just means something's really wrong. Take your nihilist ass to yoga or a really good music show. Along with intense joy I believe it's also necessary to experience the down side of life once in a while. It's an important way to become a better person. That said, perfect people are boring, and I take that small comfort in knowing I'll always be flawed, on rare occasions downright despicable.
I'm a single mom, and my kid is all set with a great dad who loves her, so that is not a part of the package, for better or worse.
It has been almost three years now since I split with the ex. We're on solidly amicable terms and we're fantastic co-parents.
I don't have a perfect vision of what I want to find here. I don't need another person to complete me; I'm not sure I need to live with someone and "grow old together"--maybe and maybe not.
But where it all starts is a friend--someone who is willing to share an honest connection, mutual respect and genuine affection. Add a little chemistry and it seems to me like it would all shake out from there.
One thing I'm not interested in is a casual relationship, and this has nothing to do with whatever level of commitment or physicality. It has to do with closing myself off and keeping an emotional distance from someone that I meet and continue to spend time with. I can't stay detached, and I also no longer see any reason to. I have limited time in my life, and it should be spent with people who mean something to me and vice versa.