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atomicturtle

34 M Las Vegas, NV

My Details

Last Online
Aug 17
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black, Native American, Pacific Islander, White, Other
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Dislikes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
How come whenever something good happens to me, it's always some kind of madness. Or I'm drunk. Or I ate too much candy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Drinking early in the day... by myself... that's probably not what would be considered good. But, hey... drinking alone is better than not drinking at all, right?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Journaling. Remember when we could do that here? Well, I guess this is my journal now. Mirrored in the forums, as well.
====================================
President AT's Speech in Reply to Israel, and Announcement to the World
2/22/14

In response to Greater Men Have Tried:

Dear Israel,

I am not a Jewish man. I'm not even a very good Christian man. But, unlike my recent predecessors, I understand simple right from wrong. It's not a sliding scale. It's not a gradient. It's not subjective, and at the end of the day, "politics" are irrelevant to it.

For too long, you have tried speaking of history. For too long, you have tried speaking of justice. You have tried to help people understand right from wrong, but they were unwilling to listen. Now, you are speaking to someone who does not need such things explained to him. The simple reality is, you are a nation that is constantly under attack by an ideological force that will only accept one end - your complete and utter extermination.

I swear to you, as long as I am the President of these United States, that I will NEVER allow that to happen. You, your families, your children have been under threat of attack your entire lives. That stops today.

The full weight of the United States Intelligence Agency is now directed at the Arab world, irrespective of borders. I will no longer recognize a distinction between the act of one Muslim nation from another. I will not tolerate a single further attack from the Arabs to the Israelis. They are now all effectively responsible, and equally accountable, for the acts of their brothers, or their brother-nations.

To the peaceful Muslims of the world: it is now upon you to quell the genocidal rage of your more radical brethren. Allow me to be more specific - whether it's a planned attack by a Arab terrorist organization, or the violent act of a single Muslim, radical or otherwise, against a citizen of Israel - the United States Military will join forces with the Israeli Defense Force, and we will retaliate. I will even tell you how and when.

Should I be made aware that a single Israeli is made victim to Muslim aggression, in Israel OR The United States, I will issue a 48-hour alert. These 48-hours will be the opportunity to evacuate Tehran. I do not wish to harm the innocent, therefore I give them the chance to flee. But once that countdown has completed, I will completely annihilate the capital city of Iran. Not one structure will remain standing; not one street usable; not one infrastructure remaining. Wave after wave of our combined military might will come down upon this Muslim capital. The entire city, and anyone remaining in it, will be destroyed. Your radicals may flee with your innocents, but there will be no home for them to return, and only the radicals to blame.

Do not call my bluff. And do not dare consider acts of retaliation against the United States or Israel in the meantime or afterwards - for should that be the case, it will not stop with Tehran. I will issue similar evacuation notices, and then systematically destroy your Muslim capitals one at a time. Kabul. Algiers. Islamabad. Damascus. Jerusalem. Mashhad. Medina. Mecca. All will be razed to the ground.

Walk away now, and leave my fellow Americans and our friends in Israel alone. Live in peace, and carry out your lives. But should any one of you engage in hostilities against either, your entire ideology will pay the price.

To the Ladies and Gentlemen of the United States Armed Forces: first allow me to thank you once again for your service and dedication. Without you, there is no us. Thank you. In that gratitude, and in my understanding that you are a volunteer force - as your Commander in Chief, I cannot rightfully bring myself to order your participation in this campaign. So, in the spirit of and in my eternal respect for your volunteerism, if you do not agree with my means, or if you do not agree with the ends of this campaign - I will not command you to participate. You may elect to withdraw, with full honorable discharge and my personal thanks for your service. Or, you may choose to assist me in defending our nation, as well as that of our too-long persecuted allies, against this threat. I will not order you to serve, but I will ask you - help us defend our friends.

To my fellow Americans: I apologize for the great risk at which this places us. I have levied a threat of retaliation at an ideology that has never hesitated to murder us. I bear full responsibility for the consequences, and I'll never be able to repay you should they come to be. If this costs me re-election, or even impeachment - so be it. The President is always subject to the Will of the People. But I ask you, as Americans, to stand with me and with our allies - and stand against those who would bring them harm, knowing the risk it may bring to you. I can only ask for your courage, America. I can never demand it against your will.

To poach a line: Israel is, and always will be, my friend. Most of us don't understand their history. But we should, and we should understand WHY they're our friend.

And we should defend our friends.

Thank you.

===================
National Care Bear League
10/25/13

So, there's loosely evidenced rumors and speculation now that the Washington Redskins - who have recently been under scrutiny for their oh-so-offensive politically incorrect team name, an issue apparently important enough in America that Emperor Bobo felt compelled to weigh in on it. (Yea, never mind the bottomless pit of scandals that are UselessCare/ObamaHarm, Benghazi, IRS targeting, Wiretaps on EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, Fast & Furious, Perjury from Eric Holder, GSA Party Time, Solyndra, oh my god how long does this list go on?!)

But yea, Redskins. Offensive. Because THAT'S important.

Anyway, the rumor is that Dan Synder's (owner of the Redskins) neighbor registered the name Washington Bravehearts for football related purposes. It's a weak link, sure - but an awfully suspicious one (especially because Snyder is claiming not to even know the guy, when he clearly does). But more ridicule worthy is the name itself, if true, that they're looking to change.

Bravehearts.

Yea, I get it. It's trying to respect the tribal origins of "Redskins" while giving it a more empowering (to those oh-so-offended... who again?) and politically sensitive branding. Problem is, you say Braveheart to any child of the 80s and you'll get one of two results: Braveheart, or Brave Heart.

The first one doesn't make any sense from a political correctness standpoint because... what, we're going to go from offending injuns to scots? So, common thought is going to direct us to the latter.

Care Bears.

Sigh.

OK, so which other potentially offensive NFL teams can we replace with Care Bears?

Chiefs? Sorry KC, you're now the Funshines.
Saints? How about the New Orleans Friends.
Vikings? Let's go with Minnesota Cozy Hearts.
Raiders? I think the Oakland Grumpy Bears is fitting. (Boy, what is it with those Raiders fans...)
Buccaneers? I guess they'll have to be the Tampa Bay Tenderhearts.

Of course, with all these bear names, Chicago already being Duh Bears will need to be renamed to separate them. Chicago... what do we think of when we think of Chicago. Ahh, yes, the Chicago Treatheart Pigs - seeing as how so many of its politicians (including a former senator now turned president) are loathesome gluttons treating themselves to the high life on the taxpayers dime. That seems appropriate.

Political correctness is stupid. People who think politically correctness is important are stupid. Liberals are stupid. Obama is stupid. God, what is wrong with all of them, that THIS consumes ANY of their attention when there's so much else going on to be all, "OMG WTF" about. Seriously.
====================================
Email comments.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think you're an idiot.

I'm a Masculinist. I'm not anti-women, I'm simply pro-man.

I'm not a, "I disagree with you but I respect your position" kind of guy. I'm more "You are wrong and I don't respect your position because it's wrong, and here's why."

Quote: "I can imagine AT subtly torturing animals such as dogs which can vaguely guess at his emotions, but are otherwise way out of their element and completely unable to discern what is actually happening to them." -7/2010

Quote: "AT is like absinthe. If you can't handle it, stay away from it." -8/2010

Quote: "atomicturtle: your thinking is sorta terrifying, but in a good way." -1/2011

I am a juggernaut of sin. And according to the comments in my journal, I'm shallow, cold, and soulless.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A) Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, Virtue of Selfishness... and pretty much any DC Comic book.

B) Superman, Batman, 5th Element, Equilibrium, American Psycho, Inside Man, HEAT, Man on Fire, National Treasure, 15 Minutes - anything with action and adventure, or that makes you think. Explosions and gunfire are a plus. Comedies and dramas tend to bore me. Loving the shows The Walking Dead and Alphas.

C) Anything except country. Country sucks. Also, I'm not a big fan of all this new age emo, fake-indie, MTV-radio friendly junk. I tend mainly towards Funk, Soul, and 80-90s music (I grew up with grunge rock and gangsta rap). I really like the downtempo scene too. Listening to a lot of Within Temptation lately.

D) I tend to stick to American/European foods. I can't stand Indian food, or Thai food, or sushi, or whatever. Just give me a steak and a beer and I'm happy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I've been told I should make this more interesting. OK... let's see...

My bead necklace, my car, comic books, alcohol, bass, money.

The explanation for all these things USED TO BE found in my journal - but OKC murdered those. So now you're left in mystery and confusion.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Abstract philosophical subjects. Particularly ethics. And any and every aspect of comic books.

"It's extremely cruel to be honest." Does anyone other than me know what that saying actually means? Or who said it?

Oh, and daffodils. Think about it.

==============
Previous Journal Entries
==============
Why The World Needs A Superman.
2/2/14

There's a thing about Superman. You can rattle off his characteristics - he's strong, he's moral, he's compassionate, he's the big blue Boy Scout; he's the Man of Steel; he's the Champion of the Justice League. He's what every single boy who's ever put on a bedsheet cape ever imagined himself. He's a hero and a savior and what we all secretly wish we could be. He can fly, he is invulnerable, he's selfless and modest, he's a protector - THE protector - at whatever expense to himself. He is Superman.

But that just describes Superman. It's adjectives, at best. That doesn't define Superman. It's not any of that that makes our heart skip a beat when Superman saves the day. Every single person here knows it. They've seen Superman in one form or another. Whether it's George Reeves, Chris Reeve, Dean Cain, Brandon Routh, Henry Cavill; whether it's Action Comics or Superman TAS or Justice League Unlimited - you, your parents, your children, and your children's children know or will know Superman. Why? Because Superman is something to which we all strive. He's an alien orphan that is, unequivocally, the paragon of every virtue of humanity.

He is a staple of our ideology. Of every single thing we believe and stand for. He's the superhero we all wish we could be - and wish all others should be.

And here's the twist - Superman is fundamentally American.

You know, once upon a time, when we had journals and I could link to prior posts, I asked the question of how one defines "American" as a culture, as an ethnicity, as a race. Pretty much everyone cowered away from daring to put such a thing in black and white terms - but, here's the thing: our melting pot, our nation of immigrants, our great society... it has something in common that nobody apparently wants to say: it's that we, America, are the greatest thing that has ever existed. Our people are the most free. Our way of life is the most independent and self-determined. Our morality is superior because it flies in the face of any evil, and doesn't hesitate to stop evil whenever it reveals itself. WE are Superman.

And it's why we can't watch Superman without losing our breath. He rips across the sky. He fights insurmountable odds. He suffers, but overcomes. And he wins the day. He fights for principle. And we see that, and we feel it - to the deepest depths of our soul - and, without any words, we understand it. It's who we are. Truth, Justice, and The American Way.

Everything that's good in the world. And the bastion; the savior; the hero that does, and will always, stand in the face of evil.

The world needs a Superman. If only because he gives us hope. Or inspiration. Or courage.

Or maybe only just a signpost. A plainly labelled stick in the ground that points to what's good, and to what's evil. One that reminds you that, at the end of the day, that's all it comes down to - and that you should always strive to be on the side of good.

The world needs a Superman.

The world needs Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

===

Things That Made Me Laugh Today
10/22/13

So, Playstation has come out with this great new idea to exchange trophies for exclusive in-game add-ons and downloads basically via auction. Brilliant marketing idea, and suddenly those trophies don't seem so stupid (despite my obsession with them). Their name for it, however, is even better.

Greatness Exchange.

You're thinking... what? Ahh, but go to the website for it: https://playstation.greatnessexchange.com/

Yep. You thought you were exchanging trophies for prizes. What you were REALLY doing was undergoing the Great NES Sex Change.

Hahaha!

Also...

Went to the bookstore today. Laughed very loud when I saw copies of Bret Easton Ellis books inter-spaced between copies of the newest Nonsense Feminist Ragedump posing as information, "The Book of Jezebel."

Made me laugh. Great job bookstore prankster!

ps. I've always kind of assumed Anna Holmes suffers from the worst case of literal penis envy EVER.

Also...

This.

Not only for the fact that this is a story about a police officer attempting to mace and then repeatedly discharging his firearm to deal with a squirrel - but, god, what a metaphor for the current political climate.

(If you get what I'm saying about this "Look, squirrel!" administration and mainstream media, and the idiot conservatives that immediately start shooting blindly to go after it - apparently oblivious to the REAL problems that require immediate intervention and effectively giving President Hates Americans a pass on them.)

Ahhh... good day. Funny day. I like funny days.

===

Fuck You Michelle - Freedom of Choice
10/15/13

So, among the other sin, vice and excess that is Las Vegas, we have the Heart Attack Grill, owned by a dude who straight up tells you, "This is bad for you. This will kill you. No, seriously, here are the ashes of some dude who died here, from eating my food. Want a burger? Hell, I'll put the ashes ON the burger if you want."

What happened to America that we used to see that as... y'know, a challenge. Not as some horror story segueing into a lecture about obesity and diabetes - but like, "Hey, fuck yea. Bring it on!" Anyone beside me remember the day when you could walk into a steakhouse and some guy in a 10-gallon hat would bet you the meal you couldn't finish his 60oz porterhouse? And when you DID, not only was he glad to give you the meal, he put your picture up on the wall and gave you his hat?

Does anyone beside me MISS those days?

I guess I love how this guy pulls no punches. He guises it up as this whole, "The other chains lie to you, I'll tell you the truth!" But I think the REAL message behind it is, "Bro, if you want to eat yourself into cardiac arrest - I won't stop you. Because why should I? It's your life, do what you want with it! AMERICA!"

I've always loved that sentiment. I mean, pick your subject. Seatbelt laws, helmet laws, DUI laws - man, whatever happened to the day when we looked at the idea of strapping ourselves into a rocket and pointing it at the sky - with NO idea what would happen or how, or if it would kill us and we were like, "Hey, yea, what the hell - let's light this candle!"

We used to have balls.

Now we have a fat, scowling, self-loathing, self-appointed nutrition-czar bitch barking, "LET'S MOVE!" With all her liberal lackeys sucking kale-shakes and wearing nut-huggers as they bicycle down the freeway fawning all over the idea of HEALTH - BY FORCE! Whether you like it or not!

Screw that noise. You know what I love about this country? The fact that we can serve a coronary on a plate, charge money for it, and allow people the freedom to eat it if they dare. That's cool. Freedom is awesome. Freedom to do the stupidest shit we can think of, and freedom to profit off of people's desire to do the stupidest shit they can think of - that's what it's all about folks.

It's freedom baby.

Who here is against freedom? (Other than the Obamas?)

And before any of you losers start whining about the costs of healthcare for these fat pigs - dude, which is really the problem? The fact that Fatty McFat can eat himself into a coma, or the fact that the State has to fit the bill? Who here is REALLY against the idea of saying to Fatty McFat - hey, greasepores, pay your own damn medical bills. Your bills are your problem.

I mean, really.

===

10/1/13 - Sandwiches are awesome. Feminists are stupid.

You know what are awesome? Sandwiches. You know what are more awesome? Sandwiches my wife makes for me. I don't know what it is. I mean, I make a pretty mean sandwich. But my wife can make the same exact sandwich, and somehow - it's better.

I'm personally partial to maple turkey with swiss, pepperjack, and bacon on 12-grain bread with lettuce, tomato, onion, and just the hint of finely diced jalapeno. Easy on the condiments please (I'm a firm believer that condiments will ruin the component flavors of your dish if not used VERY sparingly). Salt, pepper, and maybe a little butter or olive oil on the bread will work - no need to slather it with whipped egg and vinegar. And I make that sandwich pretty well. Hell, I've been doing it for the better part of fifteen years. But my wife? God, I don't know what she does to it, but her version of that same sandwich with those same ingredients is culinary heaven.

Maybe that's why I can identify with this NY Post story, 'I'm 124 sandwiches away from an engagement ring'.

This is a lovely article about a nice young lady who learned to make delicious sandwiches because her boyfriend loves them. Because, y'know what ladies? Men love sandwiches. We do. We especially love them when our lady makes them for us. Not because we view her as some subordinate, kitchen-bound sandwich maker (though we might make the occasional teasing tongue-in-cheek remark to that effect) - but because when a woman makes a sandwich for a man, she makes it with all kinds of love.

And you can taste it.

And we love being loved. Especially when it's so clearly expressed in something as simple as a sandwich.

Of course, with their singular mission to destroy happiness everywhere, feminists started shrieking bloody murder as their collective empty heads exploded. Yes, women came out of the woodwork to denounce this simple story about a woman having the audacity to do something nice for her man because she loves him.

"I dont even have anything witty to say about this because its so awful," says internet nobody Patty from Kansas (who clearly has some kind of grudge against apostrophes). "Instead of asking for a ring from "make me a sandwich" guy, I recommend changing the locks when he goes to work," says professional pissed off whiner Amanda Marcotte. "Wait a second: this asshole was literally waking up every morning and saying "Why haven't you made me a sandwich yet?" says androgynous PMSNBC reporter Chrissy Hayes.

How sad it must be for these women not to have a man in their life who appreciates their sandwiches. How beastly it must be for a man to request and thank the woman in his life for taking the time to make him a love-filled sandwich. Or, as Will Jacobson put it, "Really, what do you care? I thought feminism meant empowering women to make their own choices. I guess it meant empowering you to make choices for women who don't make the choices you would make."

Seriously.

I love the simple but elegant three line response Smith replied to these harpies:

"Eric is the type of guy that at least deserved one sandwich. And I'm the kind of woman that wanted to make him one. I'm no less of a woman because I decided to make him 300 after a flip joke."

Bam. Who wants to try and criticize THAT?

I suppose I particularly identify with this because, like Eric, I am more often the gourmet cook in my family. (I even make awesome sandwiches. Email me if you want recipes so I can ignore your requests and lord my culinary secrets over you.) Yep. I do the majority of the kitchen work - breakfast AND dinner (and I'm really good at it, if I can pat myself on the back for the moment). But every once in awhile on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, after having done housework or swamping myself in work I didn't bother to do during the week, I'll walk into the kitchen and my wife will say, "Sit down honey, I made you a sandwich."

And every single time that sandwich is awesome.

Because a sandwich made by your lady is... well, it's beyond words. It's just that good.

It's a sandwich made of love.

Who could possibly begrudge that, and why?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...it depends. If my buddies are interested, we'll go relax at the bar. If not, I'm fine with just chillin' at my place by myself watching a movie or playing vids. Sometimes I'm just dog tired and want to sleep.

Oh, and dude - don't insist on taking me to a club. I'm a grown-up now. College has been over for ten years. Bar, yes. Lounge, yes. Club, no. I don't understand anyone over 25 that's still into that scene.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a serious serious comics/cartoons addiction. I mean, SERIOUS. Take whatever you're thinking and times it by ten. Even my cell phone ringtone is a personally customized track from Justice League Unlimited.

Not so much the anime though - except maybe for Vandread. It's one of the only things that tends to pull a genuine smile out of me.

↓ Totally f-ing gay how this screws up your journal browsing ↓
↓ (Y'know, when we had journals.) ↓
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