Rather than that, there's this:

I took a gun from the piled-up assortment on the kitchen table. It wasn’t the most impressive certainly, a small dark gray Luger, in a hermetically sealed package. But it seemed sufficient. As I was fumbling with the bag, trying to open it, the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it,” I said as I walked to the front door, ripping an opening in the package with some difficulty.
“But you don’t know who it is,” said one of the friends, “It might be someone weird.”
“It’s o.k.” I said, “We’ve had a string of weird people coming here all day.”
I opened the door, and as I now had the gun in my hand — worried it might appear menacing — held it like I would a typical kitchen utensil.
On the outside stood an orange dwarf clutching his matching orange pet, some sort of creature that looked vaguely like a large koala. I tried to contain my bewilderment.
“You’re here for the search,” I mumbled.
“We saw the ad,” said the dwarf.

I'm the design director and owner of a company that does cool stuff on the interwebs. I love to draw, paint, take photos, make music, and make art in many other ways. I like to explore and travel, when possible. I enjoy making people (and myself) laugh.

Imagining.
Designing.
Improvisation (comedic).
Articulation.
Finding out what's wrong with something and finding out how to fix it.
Draw-Ring.
Sex. No, really.

I have never asked. Since I have to guess: Long hair. Skinny. Green eyes. Paleness. I'm funny. Excellent diction.

David Bowie. Lolita. Blade Runner. Tom Yum Bouillabaisse. Echo and/or the Bunnymen. Kurt Vonnegut. Shellfish, Sushi, Salads, Steaks. The Big Lebowski. Cocteau Twins. Killing Joke. Talking Heads. Lots of books about art & design. 2001. Apocalypse Now. Eggs. Philip K. Dick. What a weird list.

Beauty. Music. Some consistency + a little variety. New adventures. A good computer. Paper & pencils, maybe an eraser.

Design. Movies. Impressions of actors in movies. Sex. Women and what they're wearing. People and their motives. Why people act the ways that they act. Colors. Art. Story structure. The meanings of song lyrics. How people interact with people, and/or machines. Media. Social Media. How people and culture will change in the future. Pondering the meaning of the universe (though not constantly). What happens next. Occasionally, what happened in the past. Hopefully, what's happening now.

Disco dancing, planning the big takeover, watching the detectives, rockin' out, or having a nice dinner with my pals.

You are smart, caring, hot and/or cute, at least a little hilarious, creative and/or driven, and are looking for someone like me.