Is the lack of hormones. I didn't realize I was sooooooo emotional while ovulating. And so fucking obvious that I'm ovulating.

This new job has been really difficult for me the last several weeks. There was a point at the beginning of the fall where I was crying frequently (like 2 or 3 times a week) about work going to shit. The chief of the service was behaving very selfishly and politically as it concerned other departments, and it drove me to the edge.

One day he stopped by after hours on a day that he wasn't supposed to come in, and he must have heard the generalized complaining about his behavior. He came in with a completely different attitude the next week. He responded to a page I sent him a few days later, and at the end told me I was doing a good job. I was so flustered by the praise that I thanked him and hung up.

He's started back up with his selfish behavior and political jockeying lately. But that's not the rant, it's more like, we could have used his help today, and he ignored it. I don't know why. Maybe he felt like we were being frivolous. Uh, no. The 8 am case didn't go back to his room until well after 6 pm. It's just stupid.

The main thing I'm having an issue with is the person who trained me to do the scheduling. I went camping about a month ago with a friend from work, and threw out my back on the trip. I took some time off to recover, and when I got back, everything that I had worked so hard on was fucked up. So, now I feel like I can't take any time off work unless I'm at death's door, they catch me with H1N1 and won't let me back in the building, or my trainer is off as well. That's not right.

I don't trust her at all. If she said the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, I'd plan for heavy rain. There's reality, and then there's her exaggerated version, and trying to translate from the latter to the former is mentally exhausting.

She doesn't want to work. She doesn't want to do scheduling again, but she wants to be in control of it because she is the kind of person who has a deep need to feel important. Like other people can't function without her. And when she schedules, she tries to make it so that other people can't function without her. I mean, it's understandable given her personal history, but that's personal, not work

Today, it took continuous effort to be civil to her and resist a sarcastic cut down that would have felt great for about 30 seconds but turned a bad day into a horrible day. I'm mentally exhausted from the effort of giving a shit about her marital problems. She was completely unprofessional. For fuck's sake, she tried to get a case cancelled so that she could get out of work EARLY to go on a date with her husband. Strangers that she's never met before and will never speak to again knew that she had this important date and had to get out early.It's not fucking professional, and to have your boss tell you that sorry, but it's not a priority of his that you go on your date because this case is urgent and needs to be done is ... wow. Really really inappropriate.

That's not what you signed up for. Part of the trade off of not working weekends or holidays is that sometimes you have to stay late on a friday night. Sometimes that's just what happens. And you deal with it, like an adult. If I have to hear one more time about how I owe her a little more respect because she's old enough to be my mother, fuck it. If she acted like a grown up, I'd treat her like one.

My problem is mostly, I don't know what to do about her. She's almost done with her probationary period, and once you make it through that unscathed, you have to be grossly negligent or criminal to get fired. So on one hand, I feel like I should just keep my head down and do my best to stay out of her way so that her behavior will bite her in the ass and she'll finally see some consequences. And on the other hand, maybe I'm being vindictive because I feel like she sabotages my work. It could be unintentional and she's just too shortsighted and self-absorbed to understand how it could be seen as sabotage. Maybe she just needs a private wake up call to snap out of it. But she had one of those back in the late spring just before I started. And she's right back at her old behaviors. I don't know which route would be most effective at changing her behavior.... and I'm not sure that it's possible to know. It just sucks. /vent

I just got my first retirement fund statement. It's made 23 cents since June.

The woman OhioGuy was cheating on me with was cheating on him. He found out by going through her MSN chat logs. I didn't think I'd ever be over him, but yeah. I'm totally over him. And it's great. Aretha Franklin is singing "Freedom" in the background. :)

that maybe you should find a new job is if your metric for a good day at work is "did I cry about work today?"

I just checked, and am apparently 2.2% less desiring of sex. W.T.F.??!?!?!?!

Maybe I'm just sooo ramped up after that date with the 6'3" brick layer at the prospect of having sex with someone other than my toy. Who knows? Guy better call me tomorrow is all I have to say...

Hee. I have a date tomorrow. He's kinda cute. Like, out of my league and OMG 6'3" cute. Just needed to share, since I can't put it on facebook. And no, I didn't take off work just for this. I took the day off way before setting up the date.

I am covering for a supervisor at work who isn't here this week to help train three new people in the department. Unfortunately, I've been stuck with the problem child, because scarily enough, I'm the person with the most experience after the supervisor on vacation. (I've just started in June, though I worked in 2 different departments for most of last year.)

This new person is already driving me nuts. She was driving me nuts after 45 minutes. No flexibility, not open to learning anything new, not open to learning, period. She thinks that she's got a handle on what's going on, but everything she touches turns to crap because she doesn't know all the intricacies and exceptions to the rule. See above about not wanting to learn. Honestly, I can't remember a time in the last few years I've wanted to quit more than tonight. I don't want 8 or 10 hours of overtime this week because I can't do my work and supervise every single glacially slow keystroke that she makes at the same time.

Sadly, suggestions of

• drinking more
• taking some xanex
• committing suicide &/or homicide (manslaughter, really)
• or just ignoring the problem

are not workable solutions.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Have any useful advice?

There are some serious WTF, OkC? moments below. Seriously. WTF? It's time to start fresh.

More than the mean:

• compassionate (15.6%)
• into drugs (28.6%)
• socially free (4%)
• good (33.7%)
• independent (8.2%)
• indie (8.9%)
• introverted (1%)
• desiring of love (1.2%)
• experienced in sex (22.6%)
• political (17.6%)
• competitive (0.8%)
• artistic (2.3%)

Less than the mean:

• dorky (-25.9%)
• economically free (-12.9%)
• greedy (-5.9%)
• old-fashioned (-23.8%)
• optimistic (-36.8%)
• planner (-27.2%)
• pure (-8.4%)
• confident (-22.4%)
• spiritual (-18%)
• violent (-2.8%)
• romantic (-36.6%)

0% traits:

• adventurous
• ambitious
• athletic
• charismatic
• creative
• cool
• energetic
• experienced in love
• friendly
• giving
• kinky
• lawful
• life experience
• lonely
• mathematically inclined
• radcliffy
• verbally inclined
• literary
• scientific
• seriousness
• sloppy
• spontaneous
• thrifty

Dear lying sack of shit,

You have some fucking nerve to txt me today. I would rather abstain from sex and masturbation, or anything remotely pleasant for the rest of my life than spend even an hour in your presence again. When I said that all I wanted from you was to never speak to you again, did you think I was joking? I wasn't. It would be easier to make the argument that Nickelback is a musical genius on par with Beethoven and David Bowie than to convince anyone that you are a decent person worth knowing. Please forward all txts to 616-fuck-off from now on.

Thanks. No reply necessary.