My profile was just viewed by someone who scored 0% Match 0% Friend and 96% Enemy. And YES, they are of the opposite sex!!! Why would anyone even think otherwise? Ninety-six percent enemy? Really? What did I do??? I mean I was nowhere near their Wheaties - honest! I really didn't think that was possible. Wow talk about live and learn. Maybe if they are reading this we can make up somehow. 

Lyrics to the great Elton John Song:
Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better

And while I'm away 
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man

Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself

I have started reading, again, Sun Tzu's classic The Art of War. It isn't as bad as it sounds since the true art of war is to win without conflict. The version I am reading is translated by Thomas Huynh and annotated by the author and the editors from Sonshi.com. 

Early in the book I came across an interesting annotation regarding The Way (moral purpose). It says, "The Way is what causes the people to have the same thinking as their superiors; they may be given death, or they may be given life, but there is no fear of danger and betrayal" (my emphasis). 

Huynh's annotation reads, "The fear of betrayal mentioned here is not the people betraying the leaders, but rather the leaders betraying the people by not acting in the people's best interest." 

Now I can't speak for anyone else, but this sure rings a bell with me. 

4/24/11 

            Okay so for Easter I went to a church where English is not the language spoken during the service. But, they have a translator who does a pretty good job but sometimes it gets a little strange. Let’s face English is not all that easy a language to learn.

            The translator is doing his thing and I’m fine with it until he starts talking about a raisin savior. Oh God forgive me! Pfffffttt goes the sermon right out of my mind and imagination takes over. For me this is never a good thing.

            Suddenly I am picturing this raisin attached with a straight pin to a cross that is made of two popsicle sticks. Uh oh. The brain goes nuts. I see this street corner evangelist waving this strange crucifix over pedestrians on a busy downtown street corner haranguing passersby about the raisin savior. I fear this is going to become some kind of a cult. I see people waving raisins over other people and crying out “Heal!”

            The next thing I know I am in a church where the California Raisins are the praise team dancing on the stage and singing lively modern Christian praise songs.

            Then it gets ethnic. There is a debate about the race of this raisin and I picture a chocolate covered raisin savior. Considering the color of most raisins this seems redundant to me. Then a white chocolate covered raisin enters the picture. What is this all about? I mean really, isn’t a raisin just a raisin at least sometimes? Does the coating on the raisin really matter? I think not.

            Suddenly I realize that maybe I am on a fast track to Perdition as I barely stop myself from shouting out “God is grape!” right there in church.

            It is enough. Blinking my eyes I manage to bring myself back to the sermon. The preacher has moved on and the raisin savior is no longer the topic.

            “Yikes,” I think to myself, “much more of that and I am going to hell.” Unless, of course, God has a sense of humor and I am pretty sure He does. Thank God.

Yeah I know it’s weird but they haven’t found a cure for me yet. Maybe someday.

So okay, I'm not sure I like having the only options available in the quiver to be interested or not interested. I have found a lot of ladies on here to be interesting but don't necessarily want to send them a message. I feel bad when I have to enter "not interested," because it seems to be a disservice to them. 

Maybe I am being overly concerned here since the so called "not interesteds" will ever know. Still most times, I review the ads just to see what tests have been taken and if I find one that sounds interesting, then I take it. 

Now the problem with that is some have taken many tests and I don't have the time or desire to take the tests right at the moment I find them so I let the profiles ride. But, if they ride too long then they disappear. 

So honestly maybe this is a problem of my own making and of no concern to anyone else. But if it is, it might be fun to discuss it. 

10/18/20

   So late last week, I get news that one of the folks I had an interview with at Boise State has applied for an opening as Assistant Vice President over the department I work in. I would have reported to him directly if I had been offered the job at Boise, now he stands a 1 in 3 chance to be a part of my chain of command where I work now

            How odd it seems how things cycle around. My sister’s old boyfriend from high school finds me and gets in touch. He wants to know how she is doing. I had to tell him I really don’t know – it seemed I was always the one to initiate emails to her. She would answer (out of some sort of familial obligation I suppose) but would never initiate contact with me. So, I gave up. But who knows? Perhaps someday out of the blue she will send me at email. Then I will have to decide if I should tell her that I had heard from her old steady and start another cycle spinning.  Perhaps I won’t. She is happily married so why be a conduit that could lead to who knows what? If things are meant to be then they will happen.

            Anyway I have come to accept these occasional appearances. Things run in cycles it seems. I have learned to take life as it comes and that God has a sense of humor. A better job, an old relationship renewed, a new boss – this is how life goes it seems. All things will come in time. I have decided to let it flow and take what comes as it comes – let things play out as God intends. Patience, I have heard, is a virtue. Sometimes it is interesting just to wait and watch and see how things go. If it is meant to be, it will be no matter what we may do.

            Selah -  “God only knows/ God makes His plan/The information’s unavailable/To the mortal man” (Paul Simon). Meditate on these things.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my journey. Who I have met, what I have done, those crossroads that I have encountered that made a difference in the path I took. Here I am thinking of springtime as a time of renewal, an opportunity to restart, to find new friends and ideas and to renew old friendships with a fresh outlook. Maybe having a chance to take the good that was lost, nourish it and begin anew. This is a work in progress so please be patient with as I wander. And feel free to comment. 

The Approach of Spring

            It is the season of renewal, rebirth, and starting over. Under the cold earth of winter a seed lies, carrying within itself a memory of what had been and of what can be. The ice melts, the earth warms, and soon a sprouting that, if nurtured carefully, can blossom and bring dividends. And it can heal. 

            It is as the I-Ching says “ . . . the season of new relationships. In the bounty of good times, new bonds form effortlessly. Relationships born in spring can serve well to warm the following autumn and winter.”

            Isn’t that why we are here? 

"Unable to express the sadness of your parting,

Darkness without end.

You come to me in a dream.

I am flooded by thoughts of what should have been.

But I find it here, with you, goddess of my heart.

A sudden sob wakes me from my dream.

Alone again."