It's sort of hard to summarize yourself. Since you want to walk the
fine line between bragging and humility, anything that's running
through my head right now will either sound pretentious or
insecure. That's why I'll let my official biographer do it for me:
"A_____ was born as the heir of the Salzb-" He quit. Right there.
Even he couldn't go through with it. I'm told I don't really age.
What I’m doing with my life
I read a lot of books. I watch a lot of documentaries. I've got a
day job that's fun and fulfilling and well-paying and I've got a
semi-regular-hobby-come-night-job that's also fun and fulfilling
and less well-paying than the day job but it doesn't matter because
I said it's fun and fulfilling. These keep me busy and happy at the
expense of all those other little unfinished things that I want to
do, but I think that's OK. Those other things will come when the
time is right. When not working, I bicycle to places to enjoy the
company of the Irish and the fine beverages of their island nation
or their importers from Stamford, CT.
I’m really good at
Useless knowledge and word thing stuff making. NYC History. Really
good at that. Screw it. All history. "It was before my time" is not
a valid excuse for not knowing something. 99% of recorded history
is before your time.
The first things people usually notice about me
Wit, wiseassery and wocabulary. German.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BBC Documentaries, classic movies, popcorn movies, the four B's of
Bob, Beatles, Beethoven and Bruce. Apparently anything featuring
alliteration, too, I guess.
Duh. Add Bach to the list. History books. Things about cryptography
and Bletchley Park.
Moderately obsessed with anything including Steven Fry.
The six things I could never do without
Aluminum bottle of water, sunglasses, (don't hate me) laptop, a
flashlight, a knife, genetically proven charisma. And a bike.
If I were to do an optional wise ass list I'd go with: electrons,
Newtonian physics, calories, lysosomes, ozone, synaptic pulses and
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Speeches I would give if I were in Congress. Excuses I would give
if subpoenaed by Congress. Half-finished inventions. Half-finished
story ideas. Half-finished... well it's all pretty much
half-finished. Except the Guinness. That's finished. And trivia
questions. I write a lot of trivia questions. I think it's stupid
to call it a corn maze when you can call it a maize maze.
On a typical Friday night I am
maybe at work on the later side. Maybe out early for drinks then
home early because Fridays sometimes suck. Maybe out with friends
late. I don't know. Don't judge me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I ran down a vagrant in my Dusenberg while Chaz and I were on the
long journey home from the Harvard versus Yale football contest.
Why my Dusey walloped the traveler like a Yalie freshman on the
field of play. We wrapped the hobo's lifeless form in our raccoon
coats and rolled it into a gully. We sped north to Chaz' lodge in
Saratoga and vowed never to speak again of that night unless
referencing those scoundrels at Yale and their ignominious 7 to 3
defeat at the hands of our beloved Crimson. That winter, at the
salon in the Hotel Grand, we shared a meat pie with that cracker of
a fellow Herman Ruth.
You should message me if
Anything I've said is moderately interesting. I know it's not,
because it's all broad brush strokes of mundane chit-chat. But
hell, maybe you think my picture is decent. Your call!