In some ways this says it all: http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=460.

I'm a parent. I used to have two small children, now I have two medium-sized children, and eventually I expect to have to large children, who will then, presumably, become adults.

I'm a husband. I have two wives, you can find them here as jeliza and soeursansmerci. They know I'm here. I know they're here. They are awesome people.

I have a job writing code for a large Internet company. I'm good at it, but I'm not in love with it anymore. However, it allows me to take care of myself, my immediate family, and sometimes other people, and leave a little left over for fun. And it leaves me with enough time and energy to be a good parent and a good husband and pursue some other interests.

I spent 2012 learning to write shitty first drafts. I wrote something on the order of 400,000 words of fiction between November 1st of 2011 and November 30th of 2012. In 2013 I hope to produce at least another 100k words of first draft material, but more importantly, to learn enough about editing and revising to turn some of what I've written into things I'm willing to let other people see. Then I'll get feedback from my friends - many of whom I know to be honest, insightful, and merciless critics - and revise again.

A variety of factors have kept me from being particularly social in the last nine years. I'm working on changing that now, and slowly succeeding at it. If I sent you a message, it's because I think we can have at least one good, interesting conversation that will take us through a meal or a drink or coffee. I might also think you're potentially hot and we might in some way be a good romantic and/or sexual match, but I really don't think anyone can tell that without meeting - and if I'm going to take the time to meet someone, I want to have a good conversation with them.

Writing shitty first drafts. Sometimes parenting. Usually software engineering - including both the parts where I have to write code, and the parts where I have to decide what code to write.

I'm not as good a pianist as I used to be, but I can still play a few things reasonably well. I took classical piano lessons for twelve years, and my teacher informed me I was her second-best student at the time. I'd like to learn a different style, say blues, or maybe just learn more ragtime pieces. I can sing well. If I've heard a song a few times I can make up a harmony part to it. I'm a reasonably good hand percussionist and can play guitar in a pinch.

I used to be an academic, studying cognitive psychology, neuroscience, and language. That still informs a lot of my thinking. I left that field for a variety of reasons, chief among them that I was interested in too many things to focus so much on *just one* to the level I would have needed to to be successful.

If they're noticing me visually, my hair. It is somewhat long, and very curly, and reddish-brown.

Otherwise, it could be my laugh. I sometimes have a very *large*, loud laugh, particularly if you catch me by surprise.

One of the best books I've read this year was "The Fear Artist", by Timothy Hallinan. I picked it up on the recommendation of my mother. The viewpoint character is an American expatriate living in Thailand who gets accused of a murder he didn't commit. The best non-fiction book I read this year was "How Fiction Works" by James Woods. It changed how I think about first and third person writing.

I grew up reading science fiction and fantasy, starting with all the books my mother had collected over the years. By the time I was twelve I had read the intersection of books-I-wanted-to-read (it took that long because Mom had a *lot* of books) and books-she'd-let-me-read and had to start getting my own books from the library and bookstores. It was a bit of a shock to discover that not all SF and fantasy were good - my mother had, of course, kept the best ones for her collection. I still read a lot of SF and fantasy, but I'm now actively trying to read in many other genres as well.

Movies and TV shows I use mostly for escape. I'm partial to Leverage and Castle. My wives have slowly gotten me to see that a good movie can be a transcendent piece of artwork just as much as a good book can, but that's still not what I look to film for. I do really enjoy live theater and am making an effort to see more of it.

I'm partial to certain varieties of electronica and folk music, and I just came off a five-year long hiatus on folk (which is all I was listening to for a while before that.) I wish I were performing music right now, but I'm not making that a priority. I love 'classical' music, by which I mean not just Classical but some Baroque and Romantic and Modern and Contemporary as well. I'm really looking forward to all the Beethoven in the Seattle Symphony's lineup this coming year.

My favorite foods are Indian, Thai and Italian, but I'm flexible. I *love* spicy food, but my spouses are not as fond of it as I, so I'm perfectly willing to eat mild stuff as well. If I don't eat something really spicy at least once a month, though, I tend to get grumpy.

Parenting, which in turn makes me think about ethics, anthropology, and feminism. Did I mention I'm a feminist? I'm a feminist. Given my wives, my children, my sister, my mother, and my friends, I feel like my choices are feminist or traitor. To quote realultimatepower.com, it's a pretty easy choice if you ask me.

Writing, including plot, characterization, setting, theme, description, word choice... I often think about writing while I'm reading, although I find that the books I'd most like to learn from are the ones that catch me up in the words or the story so it's hard to pay attention enough to learn.

Software engineering, what with that being my job and all.

I want to make my own transcranial magnetic stimulation rig so I can temporarily lesion my own cortex. I can't quite understand why more people *don't* want to do this.

Did you know you can't *not* put dates in the "Ages" boxes in the "I'm looking for" section? If you try to leave them blank, it says you're looking for people 18-19.

You should message me if you can be comfortable with the fact that it might take me a while to respond, and that it can be very difficult for me to schedule time to see other people. This doesn't mean I don't want to talk to people and meet them. I do. I'm trying to become more socially active, and slowly I'm succeeding at it, and I'd love some help and encouragement with that.