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axe_personified

30 F Ludlow, MA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:43pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Seamstress. Tailor. Business owner. Muppet maker. Lover. Hater. Psycho. Sweetheart. Survivor. And I sure as sh*t don't roll on Shabbos.

I'm a socially adept nerd. I attend Super Megafest annually. I love Star Trek.

So yeah, I'm an adult with a real career who has no kids, my own place and loves the Bruins and Jack Daniels. I'm basically perfect.

In my free time, I enjoy shaming sluts.

Fun Facts:

- If I could show my 17-year old self what she'd be like in thirteen years, she'd likely laugh, cry and then punch me in the face.

- Everything I'm good at, I taught myself how to do.

- I'm one of those "indoor kids." My idea of hell is camping. Activities like hiking and rock climbing don't appeal to me whatsoever.

- I detest baseball, football and basketball... but LOVE hockey (Bruins) and could easily speak for hours on the subject.

- I'm the biggest misogynist I know.

- I'm terrible at cooking.

- There is nothing hotter than receiving a grammatically correct text message.
What I’m doing with my life
I've worked really hard cultivating my own special brand of cool sophistication and biting wit, but found that neither of those things paid my rent.

So a couple years back I taught myself how to sew/tailor. I custom alter/tailor clothing, make plush toys, pillows, quilts and also cross-stitch. I own and operate a local alterations shop and do it all by myself.

I also moonlight as a DJ.
I’m really good at
Making something out of nothing, in more ways than one.

I also have an encyclopedic memory when it comes to quoting the first ten seasons of The Simpsons.

And not to brag... But I'm pretty awesome at 1/8" hems on button-up shirt cuffs. And yes, it's as impressive as it sounds.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I "look angry".

Funny thing is, I'm usually not at all. Apparently some guys think it's a clever pick-up line.

It isn't.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I have a BA in English, so reading and writing still hold a special place in my heart. And on my foot. There you will find a tattoo that says "So it goes." Also love Capote and Plath.

I don't own a television and mainstream movies bore the living hell out of me - I am, however, a HUGE fan of Breaking Bad and try my hardest not to miss a Bruins game.

I'm a Jack of All Trades when it comes to music; I range from metalcore to ambient to 50's rock 'n roll to live jazz.
The six things I could never do without
My Janome MemoryCraft 6600.
My Bernina 2500DCE Serger.
My cat.
Riker's beard.
Black low top Chuck Taylor's.
Back to the Future.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Work, my business, work. And when I have a spare minute, cross-stitching.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm really over the whole "going out to party" thing. If you're my age and you insist on spending every weekend getting hammered, then you're likely compensating for something pivotal missing in your life, IMHO.

So on a typical Friday night, I'm on the couch cross-stitching.

Occasionally I'm coerced into making a cameo at the local youth hang-out, as I do love to dance and will have a drink, but it's not detrimental.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was 16, I weighed 230lbs. With that, I was constantly picked on for being the ugly, fat girl. If I could go back and change that, I wouldn't. It's made me far too appreciative of what I have now.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 28–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
- None of your profile photos feature you without a shirt on. I sure as hell don't care about your 'roid usage.

- You understand and accept the fact that you will only ever be second place in my heart because Tuukka Rask is first.

- You can tolerate that I work A LOT. My career is the most important thing in my life. Bonus points if you're the same.

- You're 28 or older. I've found that dudes any younger than that are too unsettled, unfocused and indecisive.

- You've read a book in the last month, and no, Reddit and Playboy don't count.

- You're actually emotionally available and not still hung up on the ex who dumped you four years ago.

- If your username is "redsoxfan23435", "italianstud69", "ilovebeer5" or the like, we probably won't get along.

- YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. Don't like 'em, ain't having 'em. I'm fixed. Looks like you'll have to plant your seed somewhere else, Farmer Bob.

- You don't mind a little insanity.

AND HEY. If I don't respond to you, I likely won't. No need for repeat messages. And if you do, they'll end up on my OKCupid's Most Pathetic blog where I post all the illiterate, insulting and degrading messages I receive.

Also, a tall, bespectacled, baby-faced nerd with interesting tattoos would be nice.

So what say we am-scray outta here and have a wild wing-ding at the Cyclotron, Doctor?