nullius in verba
Much of my life has been spent seeking wisdom, answers, and awareness, sometimes haphazardly, sometimes successfully. I'm a philosopher and a dreamer to the core. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, often it gets me nowhere, but from time to time it pushes me past the barriers of ordinary consciousness and ego, and propels me into a space hardly describable in words. It's profoundly beautiful, illuminating, and liberating.
As a dreamer and a thinker, I naturally do not feel entirely at home fastened to society's flagpole. That sounds cliche, I know, and saying that it sounds cliche only makes it sound more cliche, but to say that saying you're cliche is cliche is also somewhat cliche. Cliche. Cliche. Cliche. Now it doesn't even look like a word in the English language. Well, it did originate in the French language, so I guess that makes sense...
I used to take a somewhat bitter slant towards things, which has changed for the most part, but it can still slip through sometimes. The world can be a very cruel place, and that solemn truth is a weight that I will always carry.
I've always had a susceptibility to depression and anxiety; I have struggled with both for most of my life. I'm a little bit OCD and more than a little bit of a hypochondriac. Lately I've been working really hard to overcome them. With enough meditation and exercise, they usually drop to a minimum.
I tend to overthink things.
I am a slacker artist. I like to draw (even though I don't know how), love to write (you know, in my head) and I especially love to write music (let's just say I've never taken any formal lessons). The creative process is extremely gratifying and exciting to me, and I'm always striving to improve my creative abilities.
I love listening to music, playing video games, and watching movies. Maybe a little too much. I'm fascinated with video games, to the degree that I'm considering a career in game design. I definitely have an escapist streak in me. I'd choose a night at the films with a friend or two (or yes, completely alone) over a crowded party any day of the week.
I'm a very laid back, introverted person. I can also be quite empathetic and compassionate when I want to be.
I'm no fan of small talk. I prefer honest, personal conversations. I'm always trying to understand the other side of the issue. It takes a great deal of courage to admit defeat, and I have immense respect for people who can. I like to debate (even with myself), and I find it most satisfying when both participants maintain a calm, open approach towards the subject with the goal of attaining a greater understanding of the issue at hand.
I'm an INFJ/INFP, leaning more towards the former, for those of you who are into that sort of thing
I really want to travel the world, but I don't have the money. I really want a job, partially for this reason, but I don't have one. Holding a job sounds extremely unpleasant to me. I know it's necessary to get by, and I'm determined to get one, but I'd much rather meditate and make art all day. Oh, and I'm pretty damn shy. That probably has something to do with it.
As you've probably deduced by now, I'm also deeply interested in the mind and the nature of consciousness. I consider myself a psychonaut; props if you know what that implies. Another one of my dreams is to conduct research in the field of parapsychology.
That's enough for now, right? I think I've done a finely mediocre job of this, if I do say so myself.