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ayn12111

30 F Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:53pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Diet
Strictly vegetarian
Smokes
Drinks
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Available
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Things I do and/or dream of doing
Model for an artist
Have a torrid affair with said artist
Speak French
Mount an art show
Fall in romantic-chemical love as many times as I can find it
See the Northern Lights
Learn acupressure
Be a yogi
Write an autobiography
Visit the Galapagos
Be generous without giving it a second thought
Watch the sun set every day
Teach a child everything I've ever learned
Adopt a toddler to be the beneficiary of that knowledge
Never get stuck on the principle of the thing ever again
Be perfectly rational
Believe every human is doing the best they can
Know that doesn't make me as vulnerable as it seems it may
Find my karaoke song
Have a contented half smile all the time
Believe this whole ordeal means nothing
Believe my own happiness means everything
Be friends with my mind
Read non-fiction
Be a brilliant business person
Ask for help that is needed
Offer help that is unexpected
Make it all prettier
Disappear from everything for a year or more
Go on 3,000 mile 10 day motorcycle adventures
Wear silk
Forgive my parents
Forgive myself
Be inspired by minds like Hitchens, Darwin, Rand, and Sagan
Sing along
Get distracted by flowers
Get distracted by colors in the sky
Understand that whatever I'm getting distracted from is the true distraction
Wear clothes that make me feel beautiful
Know feeling beautiful doesn't have anything to do with my clothes
Walk everywhere
Binge work for 20 hours straight and then take two days off
Sleep under the stars
Sleep in the forest
Sleep in the desert
Sleep on the beach
Cook over campfires
Take pictures everyday
Feel like a superhero on a motorbike
Dance until 3 am and then get pancakes
Be freedom
Roll a perfect cigarette
Feel like the strong one when someone needs me to hug them while they cry
Feel like the small one when I need someone to hug me who feels safe
Follow my breath
Be grateful
Find teachers in the most unlikely of places
Be a teacher whenever the opportunity arises
Organize my closet according to colors of the spectrum
Cuddle in the back seat of a car
Sit silently in the car forever after parking at home after a long day
Be impeccable with words
Tell inspiring stories
Shake out my hair after I pull off a moto helmet
Experience everything and nothing with shamanistic substances
Feel like the most insignificant spec of biological matter
Feel like the unbounded wholeness of everything that is
Book a last minute international flight and have an adventure with nothing but the clothes I'm wearing and my wallet
Own a Volvo 240DL Wagon
Own a Datsun 240z
Own an M coup
Own a Jaguar two seater
Stop wanting cars that are a horrible idea
Be the most awesome Aunt Ashlee those little buggers could ask for
Admire the way sunlight hits the soft white hairs above my knee
Hide from the world in my cozy cave
Hide under piles of coats
Hide under the hair that falls in my eyes
Hide in romantic philosophical ideals and beautiful fiction
Stop hiding once in a while
Make up words
Speak gibberish to folks I adore
Act silly in the shower
Light candles
Kick ass at Ms. PacMan
Kick ass at Dr. Mario
Kick ass at life
Make food that is beautiful
Eat food that is delicious
Adore Modigliani
Loathe museums
Smile and say thank you when someone inevitably says, "You're really smart."
Quietly think to myself, "I know."
Understand how little that matters
The first things people usually notice about me
Whatever the first thing is people usually notice, I don't think it has much to do with who I actually end up being to them.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't practice emotional or physical monogamy. If there was the option the little box up there would say "Seeing someones".

I believe every human's highest responsibility is creating and maximizing his or her own joy.

As simple as that sounds on first read, it's not a philosophy that jives well, or actually at all, with the Western (and especially American) Prince Charming ideal of relationships. The entire premise of "finding the one" and promising lifetime monogamy, or even entering into successive serial monogamous relationships, is built on the foundation of another human accepting responsibility for your happiness, and in turn, you accepting responsibility to provide for theirs.

Love must come from what you admire about another person. Not from what you're willing to NOT do, just to please or protect them. Love has to come from a value or action, not from a zero or non-action. Love does not grow from sacrifice. Love grows from admiration.

In the grand scheme of things, our lifespans on earth are nothing but the blip of a nanosecond. There is no "the one." And I value, very highly, the joy of sharing consciousness with humans I admire.

I don't expect others to make sacrifices to provide for my happiness, and I refuse to make sacrifices to provide for theirs. If a person I love finds that rare additional human who challenges him/her, engages his/her interests, and helps him/her squeeze as much happiness out of life as possible, it's completely flawed to expect him/her to NOT have some sort of relationship or exchange with this other human.

While physical interaction can sometimes be part of what I'm talking about, it by no means is capable of encompassing the depth of human connection people are forced to abandon in exchange for monogamy, jealousy, and promising to act in accordance to a sole significant other's insecurities at the expense of their own joy.

It's silly to take things personally, to think another human's quest toward the fully realized potential of their self should be pursued in a universe centered around you. You get to be the center of one universe: your's. Understand that you're perfectly complete as you are, without someone else making sacrifices to their own life experience just to prove you're worthwhile.

Anyhow, that's what I've learned about relationships so far in this short life of mine. What the world tried to teach me, just didn't work for me. So, I decided to believe something different. And, personally, I'll tell you, it's a hell of a lot more fun than running after that elusive Prince Charming.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 21–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You know the secrets to your universe. Or you like to spending your time searching for them.

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