I'm super lame and spend loads of time on the computer, I like to cook and I'm unfortunately domestic. (Think half aprons, heels and an ironing board.) I just learned how to play mini golf, and I'm pretty terrible at it, but I really enjoy it the same. I'm a late bloomer in some respects since in addition to just learning to play puttputt, I didn't learn how to cartwheel until I was 18! But I can make an awesome souffle, so that makes it all better, right?

Update!!:

I'm feeling very cynical right now. I'm entirely too sex driven, though okc disagrees. Talk to me for five minutes and you'll know I'm right. I'm always right. I'm shallow. I'm lazy. I love to get and reply to messages. Though I'm not going to send them myself usually. I like to karaoke and drink. Preferably at the same time. I can drink without singing but I can't sing without drinking. I'm very generous with my time and money when I have it. I don't expect anything in return, and I can tell when I'm being taken advantage of.

I'm in a serious relationship. I'll talk to you but I don't want a relationship with you. Don't get your hopes up if I chat you up. I probably just want to have a new conversation with someone new. I like talking to people, hearing new ideas and learning new things and seeing things from a different angle.

Odd little thing, I don't want kids but I love them. I don't think I could give a provocative reason as to why I love children. I suppose it really boils down to if you smile at them, they'll smile back. If you get down to their level, make eye contact, they see you, they know if you're good or if you're bad. They're not muddied by narrow-minded societal mores. They're utterly fascinated by lengths of string. I honestly believe that there are no bad children, from my experience I've learned that any child that is misbehaving is only doing so because they just want someone to really notice them, get down to their level and just give them the piece of mind of knowing that they aren't alone. This is silly but I remember one time I was standing in line at the grocery store and there was a little girl one line over and she was just being a terror. Whining and grabbing things. I just looked over at her and gave her a little smile and when she noticed that she wasn't invisible to everybody she calmed down. By the time we made it through our lines she was smiling a laughing and behaving.

Living each day. Trying to work up the drive to save for a car. Oh yea... being a damned fine waitress. I like it. Please don't ask what I'm going to with my life as a "real career." It's offensive and somebody needs to serve your goddamned food with a fucking smile and it might as well be me.

Cooking, babbling nonsense, massages, hugs and kisses... I don't who I'm kidding making a list. I'm Mary fuckin Poppins, practically perfect in everyway. Oh yea, I forgot, I can talk shit better than most. Haha I can babble nonesense and talk shit! I'm multilingual like that.

My bambi eyes. Of course that's the default, "everyone always notices my eyes always and never looks at my rack first" answer. Which we both know is a damn fool lie because if I walk up to you with an almost indecently low top on (which is highly likely, because according to my dear sisters and closest friends I dress like a floozy when I go out. Which is just not true.. they all dress like nuns.) you're not going to be checking to see if I have brown eyes or green. Btw, they're brown Thumper.

Or you might notice that I never wear tennis shoes/sneakers/athletic shoes unless I'm at work. I'm almost always in heels. If I'm not in something with at least a three inch heel I'm not dressed. I have been known to call lower heeled shoes (ie under three inches) walking shoes. If I'm not in heels then I'm in flip flops. Cheap two dollar flip flips. They only last one season whether they cost two dollars or forty anyways. I never wear close toed shoes unless I have to (work). Even in the dead of winter. Unless the outfit calls for sexy kneehigh boots.

(a) pretty much anything with a plot... okay that's a lie.. I have incredibly delicate sensibilities... I don't like horror books or mysteries or anything where there might be a bloody scene... I know it's just a book but I don't like to have to imagine it.

(b)Secretary among many others... I like comedies and love stories, but not really romantic comedies... oooh.. the Black Dahlia I enjoyed except I spend a good portion of the movie hiding my eyes. But Scarlett Johansen is so smokin hot that I can't not watch it.

(c) Amy Freakin Winehouse, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, The Bastard Fairies, The Streets, UB40, BT, Lasgo, 80's stuff, country music, KARAOKE!! "Oh God, I love this song and I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics, but I hate baseball cards." I'm pretty openminded about it. OH! Really operatic, over the top rock. Queen and Meatloaf. I love to get all into it and goofy.(When I'm alone. Psh. Dancing around in my underpants pretending to be Freddie Mercury is for my eyes only.) What's not to love about the cheese? Seriously. <3

(d) Anything prepared well. I like to try new things. Plus I really like meat. I love to cook. I cook really well, but that goes with the classically trained cullinary student territory. I spent $40,000 to attend a le cordon bleu school. Don't ask why I'm a waitress if I went to cullinary school. I don't care to explain it. Is beer a food? I like beer. If there was a professional beer taster job that would so be my perfect job. Wow... that makes me sound like a drunken hillbilly. It makes me feel better to say that I seriously dislike mass produced american pilsners and lagers.

my laptop, sex, sunshine, air conditioning, my family, sleep

more than anything, my family. Seriously. I'm not one of those people that just say that, I seriously spend five or six nights a week with my mother and sisters. I actually work with one of my sisters and do so very happily. We're creepy like mormons. Haha not really, we just get along better than any family ought to. I just don't get how people can fight with their siblings and parents all the time.

...sex and cooking. What the fuck I did in the parking lot. More than anything I think about how long a I going to be in this dead end job with the asshole boss, waiting on people who I actually have gotten very close to over the last year and a half that I have been there. My customers are the only reason that I stay. They make my deadend waitresss job so worthwhile. Except for the douchebags. Oh the douchebags... all you poor tippers and picky ass "this salad is not like the greek salad I had in greece" or "can i have this item completely different than stated on the menu. Please? I'm a regular i swear." assholes can go to hell.

Around, sometimes at work, sometimes at the movies, sometimes just at home. Mostly just at home. I need to get out more.

Editors

• Sabersoul

I love to play in the park like a little girl. I'm a sucker for swing sets and merry go rounds. Anybody know where I can find a good merry go round. I think most of them are gone because they unsafe. Psh. What's so unsafe about spinning around so fast it feels like your eyes are going to pop out, clinging to slippery metal bars? It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then they rip all the fun out of public parks so fast your head spins, and not in any fun ways.

Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes, 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...

"iF U tAlk lyk dis" don't fucking message me.