Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name's Stephen. Pronounced Steven.
I was born and raised in Hayward California, but went to high
school in Dublin.
After high school in 2008 I joined the Marines and I now live in
I'll defend my beliefs strongly, but that doesn't mean I wont
listen to you.
I have irrational fears of spiders and giant squids. I've actually
fought a Tarantula with a shovel before. Scariest moment of my
I'm more sarcastic than you.
I'm a massive nerd.
I want a Mantis Shrimp.
I want to take Muay Thai but I never have time.
My car is a Decepticon. Don't piss it off.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm planning on getting out of the Marines and becoming a
professional competitive shooter while going to school.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being sarcastic, being redundant, turning everything into a joke,
shooting guns, mountain biking, picking things up and putting them
down, and making ridiculous metaphors. I like to cook, but I can't
really say if I'm good at it. I try though, just pretend it's
Christmas if I make you dinner. It's the thought that counts.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My right nipple is always hard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite book is Unintended Consequences by John Ross. Not a lot
of books really catch my attention.
I'm not a big movie buff, but I'd have to say Braveheart, Troy,
Gladiator, 300, and Tristan and Isolde are my favorites.
Music? Pretty much any kind of Rock I can listen to. But I prefer
I love red meat, and bacon. I fuckin' love bacon.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-Do the Swiss issue Swiss Army Knives?
- Looking back at the Transformer movies, the Decepticons are
actually the good guys.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
-Do blind people see their dreams?
-When I get depressed why do I listen to depressing music? You'd
think that I would listen to something to try to cheer myself up
but no, seems pretty counter productive....
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint
and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I
first saw it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
-If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting?
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in
the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to
go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so
incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from,
this shouldn't be a problem....
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing
anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that
I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the
phone and run away?
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what
do to with it.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet
my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone
they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites and Tequila than
-The answer to life, the universe, and everything.
-The Zombie Apocalypse. Are you ready? Whats your plan?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Depends where I am, or who I'm with.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You can say what you want, you don't fuckin' scare me
You should message me if
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