Hi! Here is what you need to know about me right up front. Note: this is a work in progress, as am I, as are you. Caveat: I don't believe in absolutes. Take it for granted that everything I write here should be prefaced with a qualifier. Usually, mostly, predominantly, etc.
First off, I'm a human man. Seems obvious, but we can forget that behind these profiles are real people. I'm infinitely more complex than anything I can possibly write here. I have hopes and dreams, thoughts and feelings, fears and ambitions. I make mistakes and learn from them. I can be bold, and I'm not afraid of going out on a limb and getting my heart broken, and I'm not afraid to bail out of a relationship that just isn't working for fear of loneliness. On the other hand I can be shy and slow to approach you even if I like you. It depends on the day. Don’t be afraid to come and say hi to me first!
What am I like (as opposed to what do I like/what do I do)? Well, I'm very tactile. I like records better than CDs because I can hold them. I like to taste and smell the ingredients I cook with. I have to write things down so I can see the idea. I’d much rather meet you right away (instead of a long text/email thing) so I can see you, smell you, hear your voice. I like to kiss, I like to touch and be touched. I’m sex positive & ggg. I have a very low tolerance for pseudoscience, conspiracy theories, religious dogma, etc., and I will call bullshit when I see it. I am an atheist and a humanist. On social/environmental issues I'm a lefty; on financial issues I'm more centrist. I’m a jack of all trades. Everything is interesting to me, and I want to try everything and know how everything works, which makes it a little hard to focus. A friend once quipped that I have no taste filters. That's not true; I just like lots of different kinds of (fill in the blank). Music, food, adventure, etc. As a result of this I probably have way more shoes than you do. Running shoes, climbing shoes (several), biking shoes, hiking shoes, summer hiking boots, winter hiking boots, snow shoes, ski boots, tele boots, xc boots (several), ice climbing boots, mountaineering boots, rubber boots (regular), rubber boots (steel toe, lined, good to -40). If your shoe collection looks a bit like this as well you should definitely message me!!
Next, some clarification on what I'm looking for. In a nutshell I'm looking for a life partner, but I'm not going to wait in celibacy until I find her. I don't believe in soul-mates, or love at first sight. It takes a long time to figure out if someone is right for you for the long term. In a lover I’m looking for someone confident, a woman who feels sexy in her own skin. In a friend I’m looking for compatibility of interests and ideals. In a partner I’m looking for all of that, plus that little bit of magic.
On open relationships/polyamory... In the end I want a monogamous partner, but I'm aware that to get there one must navigate the spectrum of dating lots of people (you gotta meet a lot of people to find the few where there is a spark), to dating just a few, to dating just one, to committing to just one. As we progress I'll try to be clear and honest about where I'm at (i.e. am I still dating/sleeping with other people?), and I expect that in return. Taking the step to being monogamous is a decision we’ll make together.
I hesitated about checking off 'casual sex' in the list of options because taken out of context that could give the wrong impression. I am sexual. I enjoy sex, and I happen to be a pretty good lover. So if I write to you it could be because I think there is potential for a long term relationship, or just because I think we’d have a nice romp together, or maybe a bit of both. Sex is fun :-)
Conversely I chose not to check off looking for friends. That doesn't mean that if there is no chance of romance I don't want to be your friend, I have made some good friends here. But I'm predominantly an introvert. If you're into the Myers-Briggs thing I'm an ISTJ (89%, 12%, 25%, 67%). I have never needed or wanted a large circle of friends. I tend to have a very small group of close friends. Outside of that it's a fairly steep drop-off down to acquaintance. So don’t say ‘let’s just be friends’ unless you really, honestly want to be a good friend, and will put in the work necessary to infiltrate my inner circle.
A tachyon walks into a bar...