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40 Parksville, British Columbia, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Jan 23
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Atheism, and very serious about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Science / Engineering
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs
English, French (Poorly), German (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
... and the bartender looks up and says "we don't serve faster than light particles here!"

Hi! Here is what you need to know about me right up front. Note: this is a work in progress, as am I, as are you. Caveat: I don't believe in absolutes. Take it for granted that everything I write here should be prefaced with a qualifier. Usually, mostly, predominantly, etc.

First off, I'm a human man. Seems obvious, but we can forget that behind these profiles are real people. I'm infinitely more complex than anything I can possibly write here. I have hopes and dreams, thoughts and feelings, fears and ambitions. I make mistakes and learn from them. I can be bold, and I'm not afraid of going out on a limb and getting my heart broken, and I'm not afraid to bail out of a relationship that just isn't working for fear of loneliness. On the other hand I can be shy and slow to approach you even if I like you. It depends on the day. Don’t be afraid to come and say hi to me first!

What am I like (as opposed to what do I like/what do I do)? Well, I'm very tactile. I like records better than CDs because I can hold them. I like to taste and smell the ingredients I cook with. I have to write things down so I can see the idea. I’d much rather meet you right away (instead of a long text/email thing) so I can see you, smell you, hear your voice. I like to kiss, I like to touch and be touched. I’m sex positive & ggg. I have a very low tolerance for pseudoscience, conspiracy theories, religious dogma, etc., and I will call bullshit when I see it. I am an atheist and a humanist. On social/environmental issues I'm a lefty; on financial issues I'm more centrist. I’m a jack of all trades. Everything is interesting to me, and I want to try everything and know how everything works, which makes it a little hard to focus. A friend once quipped that I have no taste filters. That's not true; I just like lots of different kinds of (fill in the blank). Music, food, adventure, etc. As a result of this I probably have way more shoes than you do. Running shoes, climbing shoes (several), biking shoes, hiking shoes, summer hiking boots, winter hiking boots, snow shoes, ski boots, tele boots, xc boots (several), ice climbing boots, mountaineering boots, rubber boots (regular), rubber boots (steel toe, lined, good to -40). If your shoe collection looks a bit like this as well you should definitely message me!!

Next, some clarification on what I'm looking for. In a nutshell I'm looking for a life partner, but I'm not going to wait in celibacy until I find her. I don't believe in soul-mates, or love at first sight. It takes a long time to figure out if someone is right for you for the long term. In a lover I’m looking for someone confident, a woman who feels sexy in her own skin. In a friend I’m looking for compatibility of interests and ideals. In a partner I’m looking for all of that, plus that little bit of magic.

On open relationships/polyamory... In the end I want a monogamous partner, but I'm aware that to get there one must navigate the spectrum of dating lots of people (you gotta meet a lot of people to find the few where there is a spark), to dating just a few, to dating just one, to committing to just one. As we progress I'll try to be clear and honest about where I'm at (i.e. am I still dating/sleeping with other people?), and I expect that in return. Taking the step to being monogamous is a decision we’ll make together.

I hesitated about checking off 'casual sex' in the list of options because taken out of context that could give the wrong impression. I am sexual. I enjoy sex, and I happen to be a pretty good lover. So if I write to you it could be because I think there is potential for a long term relationship, or just because I think we’d have a nice romp together, or maybe a bit of both. Sex is fun :-)

Conversely I chose not to check off looking for friends. That doesn't mean that if there is no chance of romance I don't want to be your friend, I have made some good friends here. But I'm predominantly an introvert. If you're into the Myers-Briggs thing I'm an ISTJ (89%, 12%, 25%, 67%). I have never needed or wanted a large circle of friends. I tend to have a very small group of close friends. Outside of that it's a fairly steep drop-off down to acquaintance. So don’t say ‘let’s just be friends’ unless you really, honestly want to be a good friend, and will put in the work necessary to infiltrate my inner circle.

A tachyon walks into a bar...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Bit of this, bit of that, bit of the other. I told you I’m a jack of all trades…
Being a dad to my kids.
Going on adventures (I like rock climbing, skiing, mountain biking, yoga, etc.).
Listening to music (I collect records).
Playing music (I’m in a band now; I’m excited to see where that goes. I play bass, guitar and a few other instruments. I've recorded CDs with two bands, rock & blues).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making chili (I have a trophy to prove it!). Poorly performed puns alternating with awful alliteration. Getting stuff done, except when I'm procrastinating.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably either the curly hair & beard or that I'm quite tall. Someone that I first met in a busy airport (in Frankfurt) later said that the first thing they had noticed was that I was the only one there who seemed calm!

But what's more interesting (and more useful to you when evaluating me as a potential sex/life partner) are the things that people who really know me (i.e. past sex/life partners) notice about me. Here are actual things that I've been told recently in conversations with ex’s. This is a montage of snippets from lots of different conversations with different people not exact quotes, and yes, I’m on good terms with ex’s.
“You tempered me, taught me patience and acceptance. Goodness and balance. You showed me that I can expect more from a relationship than I thought possible. More love. You made me feel so special. You are a great lover, and an incredibly loving partner; you have so much affection to give.”

Holy crap, I wish I could date me, I sound awesome!!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Rock, blues, punk, metal, some jazz, some classical. Best show I've seen recently would have to be Big Sugar with Wide Mouth Mason. Best show ever: Metallica in Frankfurt (there was a lightning storm behind the stage! Awesome!)
Books: I read a lot of non-fiction (science/politics/environment etc), sci-fi and witty humour. My favorite authors are Douglas Adams & Christopher Moore, my favorite magazine is National Geographic.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. If you don't mention the things that are so basic that they don't need to be mentioned, they get taken for granted. So I'll lump them all into #1: clean air and water. Nutritious food. Shelter. Love.

2. - X. The rest is what makes life worth living! In no particular order and not limited to "6" by "the man" (I'll add to the list as inspiration hits me):

-A dram of cask strength single malt
-Taking your time to wake up on Saturday morning and then drinking tea in the sunshine
-Singing at the top of your lungs when your favourite song is on the radio on the drive home from work
-flying down a hill with no thoughts other than your own rythm and breath and the wind
-the moment of silence just after your baby stops crying and finally goes to sleep
-Watching a school of manta rays fly in formation over you while under your feet is nothing but 10,000 feet of inky blackness
-pizza and beer
-laughing so hard you can't breathe and your ribs ache
-falling hard and walking away from it in one piece. With help if necessary.
-playing in front of a crowded dance floor
-standing on the top of a mountain, regardless of which route you took to get there
-drifting off to sleep in the arms of your lover
-re-telling the story about the road trip from hell. Again.
-Anomalocaris. Lucy. Heizenberg's uncertaintly principle. Wave-particle duality. The Brandenburg concerto. La Sagrada Família. Stairway to Heaven. Apollo 11. The underground railroad.
-When your kid hits a home-run, or paints a picture, or teaches themselves a song on the piano, or sneaks into your bed at 6:00 in the morning for a cuddle and then lets you go back to sleep be continued
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life. The universe. Everything. But not necessarily in that order.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Chillin' like a villain. Hanging out with the kids (I get them on the weekends).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a cunning linguist.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You’d like to meet me!