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33 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:14pm
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from law school
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Korean (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'll be in Cape Town for two weeks, from February 10-23, 2014. I'm from Chicago, and am just seeing if anyone is interested in showing off Cape Town to a visitor from a far-off land. (And no, "showing off Cape Town" is not meant as a euphemism.)

[My profile has recently been deemed 100% dead-on accurate by someone who's met me in real life. What you read is what you get.]

I moved to Ravenswood as of June 28th, and I'm still discovering it. Want to help show me around the neighborhood?

Problem: Too many lawyers in Chicago. Solution: go to South Korea.
Update: Korea was really great, but I've returned to Chicago now (for over a year already). If you like what you read, send me a message.
So I realize this combo is an epic stretch, but I'm keeping this paragraph on here because you just never know who will see it.) My dream girl: Someone who likes Mystery Science Theater 3000 AND American football (or other sports to a lesser degree). If you think you have that mix, then here's...


I was personally insulted by Dane Cook (crappy American comedian who I used to think was hilarious) for wearing a hawaiian shirt (he later autographed it).

My eyes have been complimented by heterosexual waiters in Paris (ok, one waiter).

I was hit by a bus, but sustained virtually no injuries.

I once fell off a stage in front of about 7,000 people. You 'd think that'd be embarrassing, but no, it wasn't.

I try to twist almost everything into a joke. That has about a 48% success rate, but it goes up to 62% once people know what I'm talking about (percentages based on numbers that sounded good at the time of composition).
My sense of humor favors humor that requires some critical thought and discovery on the part of the audience, and stems from critical observation on the part of the comedian. In other words, the things I find funniest are observations and jokes that make me see things from a new perspective or in a new light. However, I'm also partial to puns that straddle the fine line between stupid and clever. Eddie Izzard, Louis C.K., Demetri Martin, Eugene Mirman, Jim Gaffigan, Patton Oswalt, Lewis Black, John Oliver, Todd Barry and Hannibal Buress are among my favorite comedians. I list them not only to let you know I like them, but to give you actual examples of what my sense of humor is like.
I'm pretty mellow and relaxed, and I don't stay angry or upset for very long when things don't go my way.
I also love The Bugle podcast, satire, Richard Cheese, traveling, going to concerts, live comedy, and the rush you get when you hear a good band hit a good groove and just tear into it, building the energy until it breaks over the room like a wave breaking on the shore, kicking everyone up a notch.

When I was in Korea, I liked hiking mountains in, and traveling all over the country and around Seoul. I also liked finding examples of oddly used English on t-shirts and signs, and now that I'm back in the U.S.-- and more to the point of this section--I really enjoy watching college football and college basketball.
I'm a big Wisconsin Badgers fan, but will accept fans of other schools, as long as you can take it and dish it back out.
I played tuba in high school and in the UW marching band in college, so if you're a band person too, I think we'd have a common point of understanding (but it's not a big deal if you're not). I also like to do various other physical and cultural activities such as going to concerts, plays, comedy shows (improv and standup) and art museums, but I don't see the point in trying to be specific here. You name it and I'm almost always down for it.

I am enthusiastic, logically funny, and open-minded.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm document reviewing, and learning korean so I can get the high paying foreign language document review jobs and fund my world travels. As a contingency, I'm also looking for a job that will allow me to travel and visit all the far flung friends I made after a year in Korea.

Additionally, I'm always looking for ways to fight on the side of goodness and justice against douchebags, cocksuckers and unethical sleazebags. If you think you could help with that, let me know.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh, including you. And after talking to me, there's at least a 98% chance you'll walk away having learned something you didn't know before.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes are definitely the first thing people noticed in Korea, as blue eyes stick out here. Back home, people also seem to notice, in a complimentary way, is that I apparently look like a bouncer or a Prohibition-era Al Capone goon.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Podcast: THE BUGLE, by far. You get extra points if you have your own hottie from history and can explain your choice.

TV: Archer, Parks and Recreation, Breaking Bad, Community, 30 Rock, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report Louie

Books: "Good Omens," by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman;
"Hyperion," by Dan Simmons; Pratchett's Discworld series as a
whole; just recently, a rereading of Tom Robbins' 'Still Life with
Woodpecker' gave me a new appreciation for that book. Also, the
Hunger Games trilogy makes for a pretty gripping read. The movie was garbage, though.
Movie: "The Big Lebowski"

Music: Janelle Monae, Ben Folds Five, Lupe Fiasco, The Roots, Medeski Martin & Wood, Michael Franti, Robert
Randolph, The Flaming Lips, Richard Cheese, and Ego Wrappin', The Rock Tigers, and Perfume (a Japanese jazz/ska band, Korean rockabilly band, and J-pop girl group, respectfully)

Food: Grilled steak and my mom's potato salad, spaghetti &
meatballs, Korean food, Greek food, Mexican, Italian, mediterranean, sushi and most Japanese food,
burgers, nearly everything else except most of what's
featured on "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This section is pretty irrelevant, at least for getting profile viewers to look at you favorably. If they haven't already formed a positive opinion of you by this point, this part's not going to change their minds. I've never read this part of a woman's profile and thought to myself, 'Whoa, stop the presses. She can't do without friends and chapstick? Well this changes everything! I've just GOT to message her now!'

That being said, here's my list: Wisconsin sports (football and basketball), good cheese, stand-up comedians, books, good beer (especially New Glarus), the internet, friends, tacos, warm weather at some point in the year, breathable air, drinkable water, properly functioning bodily systems, photosynthesis (we all could never do without it), airplanes, public transportation, music and witty observations. That's obviously more than six things, but arbitrary limits can also be arbitrarily disregarded.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I want to have a fancy dinner party on an L platform (when it's warm out). I've given this some thought, and I believe it could be feasibly done.

Making an 'it gets better' video for apartment hunters.

And also, how I can make myself more interesting and experience more of the world. How nice it will be to understand more Korean. Future trips. (So far, my long range plans consist of Holland, South Africa, Australia, China, and the United Kingdom. The first four places I have couches to crash on, and the U.K. is on the list for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.)

Also, why? WHY would you do that?! Why would you WANT to do that? What the hell were you thinking? What was your motivation?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to get out as much as possible.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I want to have a fancy dinner party on an L platform (when it's warm out). I've given this some thought, and I believe it could be feasibly done.

When out drinking, I know I've hit peak fun for the night when I stop caring about being out and start seriously considering what cheese I'm going to eat when I get home.

I think I secretly want to be a writer, or a stand-up comedian. I may try some open mic nights in the near future.

There comes a point every winter, usually around the third week of February, when I get so sick of snow just hanging around that I wish I could bring it to life, just so it could feel the pain I want to inflict on it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you have a penchant for punnery, like this:

Also, if you can give as good as you get, and know how to wield your wit, and if you want someone to join you in a battle of sarcasm (whether as ally or opponent is an open question). Additionally, if you also want to travel as much as possible. If you want to, or know someone who would want to help me learn Korean. If you have any job tips for a lawyer with "teaching" and "international" experience. Or you're into comedy, or Badger sports (huge bonus points), or college sports in general, or all of the above. Even more bonus points if you enjoy any of the specific comedians I mentioned above, double those bonus points if you like Richard Cheese and triple the bonus points if you have a good command or---even mastery---of sarcasm and irony.

And now that it's getting to be college basketball season again, you should message me if you actually want to watch a Badger basketball game.