Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm not great at describing myself; I'm too close to the
My obsessive need to represent myself accurately leads me to
contemplate a rewrite of this profile every time I log on. Should I
talk about my charm and wit, or does that sound too
self-aggrandizing? Do I list my flaws, or does that make me sound
sad ? Am I self-aggrandizing and sad? As far as I can tell, I'm
good at keeping the conversation going, quick to say yes to a
social opportunity, and a lot less invested in what other people
think than I used to be.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Figuring out what's next. I've had many opportunities to do many
weird and wonderful things with my life, and I try to march through
the interesting doors when they open. My endeavors include
reviewing the fashions of The Cosby Show
/), writing plays, hosting sing-alongs,
recapping TV shows, and becoming a pretty damn fabulous drag queen
). As a result of that
last one, the amount and placement of my body hair is subject to
frequent and significant change.
I was a barista for four years, then worked in HR consulting for
nine years, then freelanced for a year, dipped my toe into the
exciting world of regular service industry employment, and am now
back on the freelancing track again. I can't tell if I'm doing
great or just, like, pre-homeless.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I am one of the fastest walkers you know. I'm funny. I kick ass at
Boggle. I am SO GOOD at crying at movies. My stove-top popcorn is
top-notch. I will happily make a god damned fool of myself at
karaoke. (A karaoke bar might be the only place in the world where
"god damned fool" equates to "really good.") My grammar is pretty
great. I cut my own hair, but I don't think I can accurately list
that skill in this box. Also, while I'm great at napping during the
day, I suck at falling asleep at night. So, if we get to the point
where we're sleeping in the same bed: super sorry.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You look familiar" happens a lot. Probably half the people I meet
are convinced that we talked at a party one time or took a class
together or something. "You look like Winona Ryder" happens less
frequently these days, but is still occasionally mentioned.
You will probably also notice that I am not "masc," if that's one
of those things you're into. I act like a man in that I am a
male-identified human who takes actions, but my definition of
"masculine" isn't as boring as some people's. I have malleable
levels of butch and swish depending on the day, and we can all be
reasonable about that I think.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Toni Morrison, Lolita
by Vladimir Nabokov, House of Leaves
Mark Z. Danielewski, and The Mysteries of
by Chris Van Allsburg. Also, I'm a total
teenaged geek for Harry Potter
The Wizard of
of the Dog
, Wet Hot American
, Donnie Darko
, anything by John Waters
, and especially Girls Will Be Girls
, Kylie Minogue
, Toad the Wet
, Dolly Parton
, Jill Sobule
, Aretha Franklin
, Whitney Houston
Knight and the Pips
, Florence + The Machine
and lots more.
TV: I don't watch a lot of TV, but am hopelessly addicted to
. I'd count Arrested Development
, and The Comeback
as perhaps my favorite
FOOD: Pretty much anything vegetarian. I'm often eating. I tend to
go for six or seven smaller helpings throughout the day rather than
three standard meals. I'm like an anorexic hobbit.
There's no question about theater, but here is as good a place as
any to mention that I'm obsessed with Sleep No More
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- a first-world bathroom
- an artistic pursuit
- positive reinforcement
- internet access
- white noise while I'm falling asleep
(I used to mention delivery burritos here, but my renewed focus on
personal health and fiscal responsibility has changed my priorities
significantly. Also, I'm pretty sure I've lived without all of
these things at some point, so "never" is kind of strong.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
EVERYTHING. Seriously, brain, shut up already! I'm trying to sleep.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
somewhere laughing. Potentially at something no one else thought
was funny. This might mean singing stupid songs at a piano bar,
watching bad reality TV at a friend's apartment, or just browsing
YouTube at home. Sometimes sitting alone in your room is just fine,
OK Sally Bowles?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
What do you want to know? I don't have abs; my midsection is all
squishy. (I refuse to call myself "skinny-fat" because EUGGHHH.) I
play video games sometimes. OK, maybe more than sometimes since
discovering Skyrim. I'm a bottom with an occasional versatile
streak. I'm tempted to browse people's hard drives if I get left
alone with their computers, but I've gotten better at resisting the
urge. I lip sync to Whitney Houston when I'm alone in my room. The
list goes on.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm sure you've already figured out if you're going to message me.
The pictures were probably a large part of that decision; after
that, you were just checking the text for obvious red flags. (Don't
be ashamed, we've all done it.)
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.