Okay, so like, let me first start off by saying that I'm totally
okay with the idea of dying alone. I mean, I've thought about it,
and at first I was all, "I don't really KNOW if I'm okay with
that?", but then I was all, "No, I am. That's totally fine. I'm
okay with that." So...I'm not on here looking for someone to die
with. That being said, let's say we meet up at some point and we're
driving somewhere, maybe to dinner or drinks or a comedy club or
something, and we're doing the whole semi-awkward small-talk
get-to-know-you thing -- you're like, "Sooo...how many OkCupid
dates have you been on so far?" and start to perspire as I tilt my
head and begin to deeply ponder the question; perhaps I even glance
down to my hands and start counting on my fingers, or mouthing
names to myself, etc. -- and all of a sudden there's a ton of brake
lights in the traffic ahead, and you turn to me and are all, "OH MY
GOD I'M FLOORING THE BRAKES AND NOTHING'S HAPPENING!!!", and I'm
all, "HOLY SHIT!!! 17 dates btdubbs...", then suddenly a Mack truck
comes out of NOWHERE and is all, *HOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKKKKKKK*
with its ridonculously blinding lights, and we turn to each other
and are both like, "O_O .... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" and then it
just like, SLAMS us and we're both dead and stuff? If THAT happens,
I wouldn't be in Heaven going, "Damn it, I really was hoping to die
alone and not with that OkCupid girl." I mean, if it happens, it
happens, ya know? You should probably get your brakes looked at
though, cuz I'll be honest with you, that's NOT how I'm trying to
check out. You never know, maybe we'll fall madly in love and then
I'll go crazy and forget who you are, and we'll eventually peace
out spooning in some old fogies home Notebook style. Or spooning on
a floating bed aboard the Titanic as our room floods with freezing
water. Well, not THE Titanic, cuz like, that already happened...you
know what I mean. The point is, if your brakes fail and we die on
our first date we could be missing out on those other more romantic
options. But I really am okay with dying alone, so no
Here are some things about me:
-I like playing tennis. I started playing when I was like 7. Took
lessons, played in tournaments, school team, etc. I even string my
-I once played and recorded all the parts to "Where Is My Mind."
You know that song at the end of Fight Club when all the buildings
come crashing down?
-One time I tried playing saxophone. I spent about 30 minutes
blowing into it while pushing every button combination in existence
only to produce a single tone. It was totally broken.
-I think things like laser tag and go karts are fun. And paintball
too. Because who doesn't like shooting people up with little balls
-Tweek is my favorite character on South Park. "Ahhh it's too much
-My favorite concert was the Eagles at Hollywood Bowl.
known to frequent classical ones as well. The sound of strings
warming up is quite nice. Rock, rap, country, jazz, whatever. Just
as long as it doesn't scream it's cool beans.
-Cooking is the best. It always tastes better when you make it
yourself. Who needs Burger King to have it your way?
-I'm a championship winning card player. I've been told that makes
me a professional.
-I took home first place in a baby contest. I still have the trophy
for it. If you want to know what it was in you'll have to ask!