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balderdasher

27 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:53am
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Chinese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In my heart of hearts, I've always pictured spending many of my nights with close friends, in my home, in front of a fire; We'd all be having a glass of wine or cocktail, listening to trendy music, dancing, laughing, and playing video games or playing a board game.

But online dating hasn't lent itself to fulfilling this reality thus far, and I've sort of become an unintended free spirit as a result. I don't have a strong circle here in San Francisco and spend many days doing my own thing. You're welcome and encouraged to change that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Focusing on career, socializing, and looking for something more; and I'm a print journalist.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
"Really good," hmm. How about just what I like? I like writing. I like creating things. I like kissing, cuddling. I like pretending my daily workout regimen of playing "Just Dance" and doing 40 push-ups is legit. I was forced to keep an active lifestyle growing up, so there are probably lots of things you do that I have done, and still enjoy doing, too.

I like wandering around cheap department stores looking for home accents or affordable designer clothing. I like eating, everything. And I like starving myself afterward.

I like meeting guys for spectacularly awkward dates.

I like pretending men who message "hey" or "how are you?" are a foreign species attempting to communicate, and I like to respond in kind, in their own language. ("Hi." "I'm fine.") My favorite are the guys who message "?" in response to something I said that they don't understand. I reply with lots of other punctuation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Hours, A Visit From The Goon Squad, The Martian Chronicles, 1984, Bonfire of the Vanities, Grapes of Wrath
Movies: Closer, Cloud Atlas, Vanilla Sky, Contact
Music: Bach, Muse, Foo Fighters, and whatever plays on my Britney Spears Pandora station
Food: Almost everything. That's right, I'm a fattie.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Family, good food, literature, music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
People. Myself. Interactions between myself and people. Cultural commentary in the form of movies, television shows and literature.

The following could be a direct stream of consciousness:

"That reflection makes me look good."
"I really should be working on something."
"I wonder who's online to chat with."
"Is there anything new in my email? I already responded to that."
"Did I just touch my hair for no reason? Did someone else notice me touch my hair for no reason? Why did I touch my hair for no reason? Is there a reason I'm not considering?"
"No seriously, is there anything in my email?"
"That guy is cute. Oh crap, he noticed me noticing him. But he's still looking at me. This is making me nervous. Walk away."
"I don't understand why she can't be nicer."
"The sky is pretty. The chair is pretty. That clump of clothes in front of my bed is pretty. The world is so romantic."
"I wonder if in say two years time I'll wake up old and ugly and have missed the chance to be young and cute and stupid."
"That reflection makes me look awful."
"One day I'll show you. I'll have a powerful job that offers me the flexibility to spend free time with my amazing husband. I'll live in a fabulous place far away from here and I'll never come back."
"So I certainly don't see anything in my email. But if I send something to say, these five people, maybe I'll get something back."
"Did I just touch my shoulder for no reason? Did someone see me touch my shoulder for no reason?"

I often wonder if I can pull a Meredith Grey, sidle up to a bar by myself, drink, and have a guy strike up a conversation with me. But it is just, so, awkward, sitting there alone.

Guys whose main profile photos include someone else in the picture, but they're not looking for a throuple. I'm sure the other person pictured is like, "OMG! I'm on your dating website profile? That is SO adorbs! BFFs for life!"

San Francisco men who have one of those absurdly high-paying engineering jobs -- and yet, still, somehow, they cannot invite you over. "Roommates! You know how it is."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Touching myself. But that's every day.

If you're doing something interesting on a Friday night -- and you give me something caffeinated -- I'll reluctantly join you. I love doing stuff but hate it on work nights.

On weekends, I brunch.

I like sleeping, and a metered amount of daily television time. Adventures are nice, too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not your bro or the kind of guy who says "hey dude" or "hey man."

I sometimes look at your "tests" section or "the two of us" to see if you revealed your sexual position. (I'm a bottom.)

I have this nagging concern about never being in debt to anyone. I don't like wedding invitations, for example, because that's $200+ someone is spending on just me, and I don't know what I did as a friend to deserve such an extravagance.

I save a lot of my emails like writers keep notebooks; I feel they hold important thoughts, emotions, and breakthroughs. But I cringe at every previous thought I've written and at the past as a whole, so I almost never open any of my saved documents.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 21–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know this is a means to an end and not a photo gallery. I tend to gravitate toward men who want to grow their family and shy away from phrases like "really independent" or "I already have the best group of friends ever."

On that note, really would like to find some new friends who invite me to low-key house parties, afternoon tea, beach bonfires, gallery openings, and concerts. A date or two is also welcome.

I sort of feel like it's not gonna happen if we've stalked each other's profile a thousand times and neither of us says anything. So, say something, please.