When I look through the match questions, I always find myself wishing there were other answers, or at least a field to explain my choices.  A simple multiple choice answer isn't always good enough.  For example, there's a question that asks which makes for a better relationship: dedication or passion.  The most appealing answer, to me anyway, is passion, but how far can passion alone carry you?  The honeymoon phase in relationships invariably wears off, and passions will always cool.  When that happens, the only way to stick with the love of your life is to be dedicated, both to your lover and to the love you share.  That might mean doing your hardest to reignite the passion that makes your relationship fulfilling, or it could mean sticking together when times get really tough.  Without dedication like that, any relationship is doomed to fail eventually.  That's why I chose dedication. It's not because I don't value passion.  It's because a short, passionate affair dependent on the whims of two lovers doesn't appeal to me as much as a life that both partners consistently do their best to make as amazing as they can, even when the natural passion provided by the initial rush has long since died away.

This is cross-posted from my other blog.  If the title didn't tip you off, you should know that the contents of this blog are a little vulgar in places.  You've been warned!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Major banks make 74% of their revenue from overdraft fees, and they've woven a complicated web to make you think that's OK.  If you didn't try to spend money you didn't have, you wouldn't be charged.  Obviously, it's your fault, right?  That's a terribly one-sided way of thinking that ignores all the steps the banks go through to make sure that you'll wind up paying these fees as often as possible.

Bank of America, for example, systematically rearranges your transactions so the largest are posted first.  That means the $4 transaction you made on Wednesday, which you had enough to cover, will yield an additional $35 overdraft fee after the unexpected $10 automatic withdrawal on Thursday, all because the Bank intentionally reordered your transactions.  Instead of paying one $35 fee, you'll wind up paying $70.  Matters are made worse if there are multiple small charges that wouldn't have overdrafted you, say $1 each.  After that $10 automatic withdrawal, you're now responsible for paying $35 for each of them.  If you've made 7 of these "good" transactions, you'd owe the bank $280 after all the fees, due to what's, in reality anyway, a single $10 overdraft.  Banks expect you to learn and abide by their system if you want to keep your money, but realistically, who's thinking about bank system mechanics while they're out buying a latte they know they have enough money for?

The fees don't stop there.  If your account is negative for more than a very short period of time, they start charging you additional $35 fees.  So, if you made  those 7 good $1 transactions and couldn't afford the $280 in fees for a couple weeks, guess what?  You're paying even more.  And more.  And more.

This wouldnt be quite as bad if there was a little disclosure when you sign up, but there isn't.  They don't tell you about the "service" where they let you spend their money for incredible fees, nor do they mention that they actively rearrange your transactions in a way that maximizes how much of your money they can take.  They just turn it on and wait for you to fall prey, and some banks don't even give you the option of backing out.  You get all the "benefits," whether you like it or not.

Their attempts to confuse and rob you don't stop there, though.  They've got another service, called "keep the change," which they play off as a way to help you save money.  It takes the "change" you'd normally get back if you were using dollar bills and transfers it into a savings account for you.  Sounds pretty reasonable, doesn't it?  What the reps fail to tell you while they're pitching it is that it's not instant.  Their system totals up the "change" behind the scenes, sometimes for days, until suddenly you're hit with a $13 transfer to your savings account.  If you think keeping track of your account balance will save you, you're dead wrong.  Unless you diligently do some math every time you buy something, the account balance they report very well may be a lie.  One minute you have $11, which might prompt you to head out and get a burger.  Unfortunately for you, good ol' BofA was just getting ready to transfer your $13 in "change" to your "savings" account.  At least you can enjoy your $40 burger in ignorant bliss.

But let's say you've mastered the art of compulsively checking your account, and you catch the $13 transfer before an automatic bill payment, which you know is coming up, hits.  You can just transfer the money back, right?  Wrong.  The money Bank of America transfers for "keep the change" mysteriously disappears for a while, sometimes for more than a day.  Where does it go, you might be wondering?  I've been wondering the same thing for a long, long time.  All I know is it's MIA, so you have no choice but to spend "their" money instead of your own, and they can charge you up the ass for it.  Cool service, huh?  Even if the money was there, you can only transfer 3 times per month before they start charging you for it.  Of course, there's no warning telling you that the next transfer will result in a fee, but so what?  You're a big boy or girl.  You can count, right?

Bank of America isn't completely heartless, though.  If the money does happen to be in your savings account, they'll be happy to use it for "overdraft protection," where their automatic system changes a couple numbers in their database to cover your charge.  But... but but but.  (there's always a catch)  You guessed it--there's a charge for that.

Banks rape you at every opportunity.  They rape, and rape, and rape, and rape, and every time you get raped, they tell you it's your fault.  Unfortunately, people buy into this crap, and they even tell each other they should have been checking more closely.  Instead of believing those big blue eyes telling them everything they want to hear, they should be on the alert for danger at all times--just in case an unwanted dick comes flying in from the back.  That's not my philosophy.  The rapist should be held accountable, not the victim.  Bank of America, it's your fault.

I haven't been hit with an overdraft fee in a long time, but this is something I have trouble keeping out of my mind.  I've been through the hell of navigating their minefield, and I have to see my friends and coworkers fall prey to the same bullshit.  You can see their frustration, that silent rage that comes with knowing you've just been financially raped, with no financial lube or condom, and no way to express your frustrations due to feelings of shame.  Well, you shouldn't have to be afraid to speak out about it.  These cretins should be brought to justice, but that'll never happen if you keep blaming yourself and each other every time someone gets gouged.  It's not just "the way things are."  There's no such thing as that.  It's the way you allow things to be.

Remember:  These fees make up ~74% of their profit.  That's not an accident.

I've been looking forward to Mass Effect 2 for a long time, and after an incredible wait, it's finally been delivered.  I was anxious to resume my search for answers about the mysterious Reapers, a race of artificial beings bent on cyclically destroying all sapient life in the galaxy every 50,000 years.  The story in the first game was amazing, and I couldn't wait to soak in more of the same.

I was really excited when I picked the game up from Gamestop last week, but after playing it, I see it's not at all what I expected.  My character has ceased nearly all communications with his government, and he's now working for a terrorist organization.  Yes, officially, he's a terrorist.  But the (un)amazingness doesn't stop there.  I'm on disc two of two, and so far, I've only had one mission where my goal wasn't to recruit somebody to my team.

Instead of chasing leads on the Reapers, I've spent almost all of my time in the game tracking down potential members and trying to convince them to join me, and there are still a few more to convince.  Every now and then, the game throws me a (very small) bone, leaking a little bit of the story, but mostly it's just recruitment.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.  It feels like the developers have gone to great lengths to draw out the story for as long as possible, and that's truly a shame.  They could easily have made the bulk of the game about the looming threat fans of the IP have become so interested in, thrown in some plot twists, and had me pick up members along the way.  Instead, they chose... this.

When I'm playing, I don't feel like someone trying to save the galaxy.  I feel like a terrorist recruiter, an errand bitch boy trying to convince people to come along with me.  It's just not very compelling.

On a positive note, they did improve the combat system more than I could have hoped.  In the last installment, I kept playing through the repetitive and sometimes frustrating combat just to experience the next bit of plot development.  The situation in Mass Effect 2 is essentially reversed.  The story makes me want to tear my hair out, but the combat is a hell of a lot more fun.

I just hope they give me a plot worth playing for by the time they decide to throw the final boss fight at me.

I haven't used my blog here much, but I thought I'd cross-post this from my main bog.  OKCupid's blogging tools are a little restrictive, so the formatting is a little off.  Bear with me.  :)

-------------------------------------------------

Ladies and gentlemen, the geniuses at Axe have done it again.

This time, they're gracing our nostrils with the oh-so-sexy smell of "exotic leather."
I'm honestly surprised it took them this long to come up with the idea. Every woman I know would love to fuck a dead cow. You don't know how many times I've come out of the bathroom to find my date getting it on with my leather couch.

The disappointment was crushing.



Pure sex.

But no longer!
Now I, too, can reek of dead animal skin. Soon, women will flock to me from all corners of the earth like maggots to a bloated bovine carcass.


What a delightful thought.

I haven't had any hardcore, give-me-a-cigarette-or-die cravings since Friday night, but I think I prefer them to what I've been experiencing. When they're so commanding, so demanding, I feel like I have something to fight against-- a nemesis of sorts. Something to crush, to defeat, to destroy. I can do that.

But these cravings have been more insidious. I'll randomly find myself going through the first second or so of the usual thought process involved in casually deciding to have a cigarette. In a lot of ways, it's like momentarily forgetting that your best friend is dead, thinking about something you want to share with them. Then reality hits, and you realize that they're gone-- forever. That's how this feels, though not quite as dramatic.

It's not a compulsion. It's a sadness. It's a longing. It's not something to defy or crush, and then laugh at. It's something I have to endure and live through, until it fades away. I don't know how long it'll take, but I need to remain strong.

I can do this, and the support of my friends, for which I'm very grateful, is going to make it a lot more bearable.

Music is an amazing thing, but everyone has a different reaction to it. Some people listen to it to accent whatever mood they find themselves in. Others just like to get lost in the notes, whatever they might be, forgetting about the world around them. Some people, myself included, use it as a tool to change their mood.

When I listen to music, I get lost in its essence. If I'm listening to angry rock, I get cocky and angry. If I listen to soothing music, I get relaxed and happy. Whatever the beat, tone, and lyrics convey finds a place in my state of mind. It's an awesome tool for relaxing before bed, getting motivated for work, or cheering myself up.

Whatever your reasons for listening, there's a website out there that makes it easy to hear what you like. The folks at http://www.pandora.com/ have created an extensive database of relatively unimportant (unless you're like me) musical traits they use to compare songs. What this means for you is that you can create a radio station, add a song or two, and listen to music that you'll probably like. If it plays a song that you don't like, just give it a thumbs-down, and the system will listen, weeding out anything else you probably wouldn't appreciate. Conversely, you can give those amazing songs a thumbs-up, and you'll hear more of the same great sounds.

I have 6 stations that each facilitate different moods, but you can make your stations as specific or diverse as you like. If you're a music lover, you can't miss out on this.

Here's the URL again:
http://www.pandora.com/

Give it a shot!

I'd been neglecting the apartment for the past month, but I decided to go on a major cleaning spree yesterday. I made a huge pot of super-strong coffee, and I scrubbed and straightened for over 6 hours straight. The living room hasn't looked this good in over a year. It's really uplifting.

I've been meaning to make bread for a couple months now, and I finally got around to it today. It's a little sad to wait that long, but I'm happy I finally took the time to do it. The smell was an amazing accent to the apartment, combining nicely with the white-ish sunlight coming in through the windows. (It was very overcast today)

I wish it would've rained. It felt like such a tease.

Anyway, back to the highlight of my day: bread. (Ha. Ha. Ha.)
The loaf turned out better than last time. The slices are a bit thick, but they're excellent with butter and apple butter. :)

We take a lot of things in life for granted, and favorites are definitely one of them. It seems like everyone assumes that you must have a favorite, and if you don't, then it's usually assumed that you're a boring person. Why?

That's a question everybody should be asking more often, and it's a question that people with a favorite *everything* should be asking themselves. What makes your favorite color stand out to you so much? Why do you enjoy it? What does it remind you of? How does it make you feel?

I think it's important to think about these things every now and then. It brings us closer to understanding our own nature, helping us to know ourselves.

On surveys, I often say that my favorite colors are black, gray, green, and brown. But really, they're just neutral colors-- safe. Shades of gray betray no feelings, and green and brown allow some color without standing out too much. Coincidentally, green and brown are also the colors of camouflage, which I didn't realize until tonight.

My favorite color is actually deep blue.
It makes me think of the ocean and the dark night sky.
If I sit down and think about that color, closing my eyes, I can almost hear waves crashing against the shore and see moonlight reflecting off of the water's surface. Entities as vast and timeless as the ocean and the night sky make me and my life feel insignificant, and all my worries just sort of drift away.
To me, it represents rest and peace.

Why not sit down and think about your own favorite color?

I'm mainly posting this journal entry to raise my profile's completeness up to 55%. I'm not entirely sure what that will do for me, but it must be a good thing, right? Plus, completing an objective, imagined or not, is a great way to cure boredom.

I'm not one to cheat the system, so I'll write about something that's been bothering me. I've spent several years on this site, and I have only had a few good matches. I think it's probably my own fault (and lack of social skills), but I just can't seem to keep a dialog going.

How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know? What do you talk about? My life is boring, and I'm here, in part, to change that. So do I just ask questions? I don't think that's a very good approach, either.

I try to personalize every message I send, but I usually don't get a response. When I do, we wind up exchanging information, and then one of us stops sending messages.

What gives? I know I'm not bad looking. I know I'm not a jerk.
Do I appear too cold? Do I seem too methodical?

I'm always afraid of coming on too strong, because I have a tendency to do that. I hold myself back quite a bit to avoid it, but maybe that leaves me appearing too detached or empty.

Truth be told, I just want to meet anyone I talk to as quickly as possible so I can find out whether or not we're compatible. If we aren't, we can both move on with our lives and find someone who is.

And if we are... well, that's the point.