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26 F Oslo, Norway

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 1:05am
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Atheism, and very serious about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Norwegian (Okay), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

I feel like the first sentence here should sum me up, but there is no sentence that can do such a thing. So instead I'll stick to listing prominent features about myself in a semi-random order (whatever comes to mind first).

I'm detail oriented and I tend to be rather thorough. I also try to be very precise with my words. These tendencies lead me to ramble a lot. I try to avoid it, but it gets the best of me much of the time in my writing.

I think a relationship is like a house. Commitment is the walls that keep it together. Communication is the doors and windows that make it usable. Compromise is the roof that keeps the rain and elements out. And trust is the foundation on which it's all built. All of these components are essential for a healthy relationship, and as long as you have them, your relationship can and will succeed. This applies to any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise.

I like people. I'm an ambivert (which means in between introverted and extroverted; most people actually fall in this category). I don't like to be around a lot of people (at once), but I like to be around people a lot (of the time). Falling to either end of the extreme (being around people too much or too little) stresses me out.

I am a hopeless optimist. I recognize that this cognitive bias is unrealistic, but it is also psychologically healthy and beneficial. (Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophesies?) I tend to give people and situations the benefit of the doubt. I believe that humanity has a lot of potential, for both good and bad. I like to focus on the good.

I think forgiveness, gratitude, and acceptance are the keys to happiness in life. I am happy in my life.

I am an emotional and passionate person, but my emotions do not impede my ability to be rational. Until I start getting anxious. Then I tend to act in ways that are contrary to what my rational mind would suggest. I mean, my rationality is still there somewhere, I just fail at applying it in useful ways. Fear tends to dictate my behaviors, much as I try not to let it.

People make me nervous. More so the less I am around them, actually. I have a proneness to experiencing anxiety in general. However, over the years I have become more and more skilled at managing and reducing said anxiety. As long as I'm within reasonable proximity to my comfort zone, I'm pretty normal. That is, normal with regard to experiencing anxiety. I am otherwise not your average girl.

I'm generally considered pretty smart, and I like to think of myself as nerdy. I'm good at logic, reasoning, and problem solving. I have common sense and a pretty decent working memory too. I do not claim to have extraordinary wisdom, knowledge, or experience. Though I do have a few areas of expertise, there is much I do not know, and I will readily admit to my areas of ignorance. I am also very rational, open-minded and intellectual, and I appreciate the same qualities in others.

I love science. I'm fascinated with understanding how the universe works. I'm especially interested in psychology and understanding human nature, what motivates people, the biases and heuristics of human reasoning, etc. I'm also fascinated by the brain; it's such a complex machine. I'm very curious, and not nearly as well educated in science as I would like to be. That isn't to say I'm scientifically illiterate (I'm not). I simply mean that my current level of understanding does not satisfy me.

I'm a pretty ardent atheist. I grew up as a Christian, but began questioning my religion when I was about 18, when I myself was being questioned about it by my present husband (then boyfriend). I had a strong faith in God at the time, but an even stronger faith in reason. Reason won out. I hold this example as testament to my open-mindedness. I will give up even cherished and closely held beliefs if reason dictates that they are not true. I care more about the truth than in believing whatever feels comfortable. I am an honest person and value honesty in others. And I know how to be honest with myself.

It seems I tend to hold a lot of unorthodox beliefs. I do not like going against the grain, but I won't change my principles just to fit in. Sometimes I like debating, but usually I don't--especially in cases where there will be no agreement in the end and where there is a lack of mutual affection between the parties involved. I find the dissonance to be emotionally taxing and hence I try to avoid it. Unfortunately, my withdrawal from a debate can appear like I am ceding victory to the other party. I am not; I just don't have the energy to argue further. I prefer harmonious environments.

I am a very passionate person. When I love, I love deeply and intensely. I would go to the ends of the earth for the people and causes I care about. I am fiercely tenacious and determined.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I moved from my home country (the US) to Norway* in August 2010 and I'm currently working on getting settled in here. I'm unemployed at the moment, but am hoping to find a job working at a daycare once I have become proficient in Norwegian. I've completed Norwegian classes, but I still have a ways to go before I'd consider myself proficient. I'm a member of The American Women's Club in Oslo, mostly for social purposes. Occasionally I take dance classes at the gym.

In 2010 I graduated from Truman State University with a B.A. in Psychology. I currently have no plans of going to grad school, so at present this degree has no particular purpose other than to label me as educated (or, rather, schooled). Perhaps one day I will go back to school and pursue a career in counseling or do something else entirely. For now I'm focusing on starting a family. I plan to begin having children by 2015.

*If you're thinking about visiting or moving to Norway, see my "You should message me if" section.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...coming up with creative solutions to problems, keeping myself entertained while doing relatively little or nothing, dancing, gymnastics (well, I used to be, before I got old), logic, organization, English/writing, memorizing meaningless information, succeeding in school, listening, caring, being optimistic, giving massages, typing, rambling, being rational, being irrational (I can be good at both!)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The first thing you notice about me depends heavily on what YOU tend to notice about people first as well as the specific context in which you first see me. I modify my behavior to accommodate the situation (which, I might add, is not the same as changing who you are depending on who you are around--my principles and overall behavior patterns remain relatively fixed).

Generally though, I think people tend to notice that I'm quiet at first*, friendly, and easy to get along with. That's assuming they notice me at all. I don't tend to make myself stand out.

If I don't get along with you, it's probably because your personality drastically clashes with mine. Or you are mean. I dislike people who are mean (or rude/insensitive/selfish/inconsiderate). Overall I'm pretty tolerant of things that bother me, though, so you'd really have to provoke me for me to not get along with you.

*If I'm around at least one close friend, I may be talkative/loud. I know people who cannot imagine me being talkative and others who cannot imagine me being quiet. I can be either.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: [Fiction]: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, the Harry Potter series, The Farseer trilogy (Assassin's Appretice, etc.), The Giver, Holes, Number the Stars, The Lost Duke of Wyndham (and virtually everything else by Julia Quinn). [Non-Fiction]: Thinking Fast and Slow, Good Calories Bad Calories, Why We Get Fat, Unconditional Parenting, Dumbing Us Down, How Children Fail, How Children Learn, Escape from Childhood, A [New] Guide to Rational Living, Why We Can't Wait

Movies: About a Boy, Anna and the King, Chaos Theory, City of Angels, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Holiday, I Love You Man, Just Like Heaven, Little Miss Sunshine, Lion King, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Pride and Prejudice, The Princess Bride, The Proposal, The Shawshank Redemption, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Stage Beauty, While You Were Sleeping. Anything that makes you feel good, has witty humor, or is a good love story. Best yet, a combination of the three.

TV Shows: Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Castle, White Collar, Burn Notice, Suits, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Supernatural, Mythbusters, Futurama, The Simpsons, Firefly

Music: Primarily indie, but I also like alternative rock, soft rock, and some pop. I'll listen to pretty much anything but heavy metal and most rap and country.

Foods: Fresh, ripe strawberries. I follow the primal blueprint/paleo diet, so I eat a nutrient-dense, whole foods diet and avoid grains, seed oils, and added sugars. And I mean diet in the sense of food that I eat, not diet in the sense of caloric restriction. It's a lifestyle choice I make for health reasons, not a temporary aberration for the sake of weight loss. I don't need to lose weight.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Love - To love and feel loved in return is essential for life. Now that I'm with my husband, firerybird, I could no longer be without him. I love him with all of my heart.

2. Reason - Reason is how one attains knowledge, finds truth, and makes sense of the universe. It is essential for humanity and for me specifically. I simply cannot communicate with someone incapable of or unwilling to use reason.

3. Friendship - It keeps me from getting lonely and depressed. Being around people just isn't enough; I need close friends I can spend time with, relate to, and confide in.

4. Family - I come from a large family and I love it; there is no greater sense of belonging or source of unconditional love. They're not perfect, but they don't have to be.

5. Music - It is the most amazing thing ever. Music can emphasize the way I feel or alter my mood. It is a beautiful, powerful form of expression. Life just wouldn't be life without it.

6. Water - Yes, water is essential for human survival, but I mean it in the sense that it is my primary beverage. I love water.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...the fact that I need to do the dishes, but really don't want to. (I always need to do the dishes. I don't own a dishwasher, though I really ought to.)

...the things that make me anxious/stressed.

...the people that matter to me. feelings and behaviors (reflecting, analyzing).

...topics of interest to me.

This is the closest thing to a section on interests, so here's a bit I used to include in my self summary but removed because it was more about what I think about and am interested in than about me specifically:

I have a B.A. in psychology and hate the way psychology is presented in pop culture. They get everything wrong. Freud's biggest contribution to psychology was in being so boldly WRONG and unscientific that he prompted others to prove him wrong by coming up with better, scientifically validated ideas. I am a scientific-minded woman; I don't go for crackpot theories with no evidential support (especially ones that aren't even testable). I am a proponent of the Cognitive-Behavioral and Humanistic approaches to psychology and psychotherapy. They are both empirically validated and suit my rationality and optimism respectively.

I know a fair amount about diet and health, having done a not-insignificant amount of reading on the subject and browsing through the scientific literature and research (the actual research papers in the journals; not the oversimplified and generally inaccurate media portrayals of them). As a result of my self-education, I've come to the realization that conventional wisdom on diet is wrong. Like, pretty damn wrong about some major stuff (like the misguided demonization of saturated fat). The standard dietary recommendations are not based on sound science. This is an issue I've become very passionate about over the past couple years, because this bad advice has led to numerous health problems for a lot of people and a culture of blaming the victims when the reason for their obesity and poor health is that they were given the wrong advice.

I am very interested in Sudbury-type democratic schooling. I oppose laws that force school attendance, and I think that school as we know it today does more intellectual and emotional harm to children than good. I think children are born with the tools they need to educate themselves and the best thing to do for them is to provide them with opportunity, resources, and, above all, freedom to explore the world in the manner they deem most suited to them. My viewpoint is both very strong and very unorthodox/unpopular; however, it is supported by research, history, and an understanding of human nature.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am probably at home with my man, and there's a good chance we're watching TV or gaming or sitting in front of our computers. I don't get out all that much; I'm kind of a hermit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a fear of toilets. Or, rather, a paranoia and disgust about them. Not to the point I can't use them or anything. But I'm really paranoid about them clogging and overflowing or things falling into them. I always keep the lid down. I hate toilets. They bother me...
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. are looking for a friend/pen-pal and our match or friend percent is at least 70%. have some common interest with me that you would like to discuss or something to say that you think I would like to hear. have a question or comment about something in my profile.

...I have an error or inconsistency in my profile that you'd like to point out.

I'm not particularly active on this site any more, but I will respond to most messages I receive. If you've read this far on my profile, then you're probably not one of the types of people whose messages I will ignore. If you want to ensure a response from me, make sure your message is longer than one sentence and makes clear your intent behind messaging me. I'll probably respond within a week (though this isn't a guarantee).

Concerning Norway:

I've noticed lately I've been getting messages from people who are interested in coming to Norway, either to visit or to settle there long-term, and have some questions/would like my perspective. I am happy to field questions about living in Norway (Oslo, specifically, since that's the area I'm familiar with), but there are some questions I'm better at answering than others. If your interest is settlement (not just vacation), I can share with you my immigration experience and help with what to expect, but you'll probably find most of the information you need at the website for the Norwegian Directorate of Immigration (

If you're coming to Norway to visit/for vacation, I'm a bit less helpful. I don't know what the good tourist sites are, what the good places to eat are, or where you can get a good deal on a hotel. A good internet search will yield better results than what I could offer (which would be nothing). What I know is weather and prices and the sort of stuff that you learn automatically from living somewhere, even if you never leave your apartment. I'm happy to share what I know, but in some areas I'm just not very knowledgeable.