If there was a "sarcasm" font, I would be able to better express my thoughts here, there isn't, (and yes, i realize sarcasm is cheating in the sense that its lazy) and so I'll just say i am all about Good Times, both having, doing and of course the tv show. I am funny and funny looking. I silently judge people in restaurants, I say both wildly stupid and intelligent things usually in the same sentence. In fact, I am silently judging you for looking through the pictures before reading the profile...so there!.... also, why does this whole thing seem so insincere? that bugs me.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
-Woody Allen
this site can be both....

That is the question I ask myself every morning at 4am racked with insomnia. I am trying to create something from nothing and art that remains. Or, more simply, I make films no one see's, and write things no one reads. I would like to make something as beautiful as the last 20 seconds of The Graduate. You would think a writer would have something a bit more eloquent here...but how do you do that without it being wildly self absorbed or self reflexive? Wait, I think I now know..., oh, maybe not...

booze and bad decisions, ordering pizza, eating donuts, all games of chance at a county fair, in fact i kinda rule at all carney games, its kinda my special gift. I do a great Tracey Jordan impression, and Oh, i am also very good at ordering dessert- i can parallel park pretty awesome, working on my mad rap skills, i can pick the best seat out at a movie theater and i am never sick at sea (nod to the speech in Malice in case you were wondering) I dont get the whole "hiking" thing- i dont get it- i'd much rather be in a theater watching a movie,with you, and ice cream, and popcorn... oh, what else i am really good at: spotting people who try so hard to put the most esoteric author/painter/composer as if to somehow prove themselves an "intellectual" - c'mon, let that go, please.

C'monnnn what's in the boooooooxxxxx??? Ahhhh nooooo what's in the boxxxxxxxxxxxxxx???
wait, i am not supposed to do the end of Se7en here?

also, can someone please explain the pics of women with mustaches lately? is that supposed to be cool and funny and ironic? if you know, please message me....

The Sun Also Rises, Post Office, Women, Bukowski, The Rural Juror, Heartbreaking Work Staggering Genius, Hemingway, David Foster Wallace, Woody Allen, Fight Club, Vincent Gallo, Elliot Smith, Jellyfish, John Coltrane, Synecdoche,NY, Harold & Maude, Blue Valentine, Harold & Maude, The Graduate, Margot At The Wedding, Shampoo, Drive, Buffalo 66, Valley Girl (why i moved to LA) All things Paul Thomas Anderson (boogie nights/magnolia especially) and Wes Anderson. Mid Century modern furniture and architecture. John Lautner. Louie CK, Donuts, thai food, beer & pizza, ribs and a nap in that order. Bends era Radiohead, Ratt, Jeff Buckley, My Bloody Valentine, Slayer,Nick Drake, Beatles, Tame Impala, sigur ros, Bowie, Prentenders and Red Lobster. Thrift store shopping, Rose Bowl, junk and vintage stores etc. - lately, watching the film "Beautiful Girls" and if you like this as much as i do, we will get along fine...pie shops... i love pie shops, who doesnt love pie shops?

Books, cheese (i put cheese on everything) my glasses, dental floss, clean underwear, sexy girls with tattoos, grilled cheese

why i always lose at the track, or why is it all the way it is...telling Ponyboy to "stay gold" and wondering why i rushed into that burning church...or opening a grilled cheese museum-...when i say partner in crime, i mean actual crime, or swimming in a sea of brownies...i really like brownies... i would really like to be more honest and message someone "Hey nice boobs!" or "damnnn girl, you got it goin on..." like straight outta some 90s "urban" film and by urban, i mean black. i would love to say at every single art/photo exhibit i see "just because its in black & white doesnt make it exceptional, nor art." ...and whats with the "wet hair" look on every girl working at carls jr? is that a prerequisite? oh and lastly, why does every woman proclaim to be a "great big nerd?" like that makes them Zooey Deschanel or something, its kinda about 5 years ago, so please, let that one go.... also, answering "no friday is typical" isnt original. also, "i like to travel" who doesnt? really, please stop using this old line...

at the movies- Friday night is Movie night! usually at Arclight then to the pie shop or having dinner/drinks with friends- wandering around downtown LA, thinking about thinking about you...

I really enjoyed the film "The Lake House" with Sandra Bullock, for real, its really pretty good. no irony here. also, i get misty eyed when the little kid runs through the airport in Love, Actually. oh, i also have an irrational fear of being too far away from my grocery cart at Ralphs- I have no idea why, no one is gonna take my cart- yet i worry about this...and yes, i shop at ralphs and like it!

you are greta gerwig or ya wanna sleep in on sunday or monday, you want me to make you grilled cheese and eggs. if you want to bring me cookies or baked goods. if you want to break my heart. if you will bust out your good underwear for me. if you are awesome and actually inspire "awe" - if you ever used the word "mint" as an adjective, if you like to walk around downtown LA or if you enjoy drinks and films and maybe have the answer to what its all about- OR you really enjoy Buffalo 66 or if you read this and thought "why not send a note? really? he seems ok, maybe even better than ok, maybe even A-ok" yeah thats right, that just happened, let it sink in. message me if you like big soft hotel beds, room service trays- i STILL get a kick out of that...staying in. eating. watching movies. in bed. a lot.