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25 M Phoenix, AZ

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 21
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and very serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a friendly, fun, no-bullshit, drama-free, manly, and a little bit nerdy guy living in Phoenix. I like building stuff out of steel and wood, cooking awesome food, eating awesome food, hanging out in the wilderness, smoking pot, playing video games, and just relaxing.

I have little to no "swag" or "game", but if you're turned on by mild financial stability, I do have a steady job and my own apartment, and although my car died a couple months ago, I should have enough cash saved for a decent truck in a couple weeks, but in the meantime my bicycle gets me around town just fine.

Currently single, looking for a casual relationship or friends with benefits type situation - I'm definitely not looking for a serious relationship where we're expected to become integral parts of each others lives and act like we're gonna be together forever - but I'm not into random meaningless hookups with people I barely know either, so I prefer a casual relationship or friends with benefits situation, where we like each other, care about each other, have fun together, and have a little sexytime when/if the chemistry is right, but we both still have our own lives, and won't die if we're not together 24/7.

Until I figure how to write a more in-depth intro without sounding incredibly cheesy, I'll just list whatever pops in my head:

- I'm kind of a giant. 6'5" and around 285lbs - a little more meat on my bones than I'd like, but still in good enough shape that I can bike 5 miles every day going to work and back. And as long as I'm on the subject of bigness, I would like to say that I am totally down with girls of all sizes - as far as looks go, all I really need is a pretty face.

- While I'm a very friendly guy on the personal level with my friends, I strongly dislike the general public - Ron Swanson from "Parks and Recreation" is about a 99% match for me - For that reason, I'm not very big into bars or clubs.

- Even though I'm stuck in the middle of the city, I love the outdoors, camping, hiking, just hanging out in the wilderness in general where I can be away from all the hassle and business of society. I'm a natural outdoorsman having grown up in a rural Massachusetts where the most exciting thing we had to do was pull apart beaver dams, and I have an incredible MacGyver-like ability to improvise. No matter what the problem is, I can fix practically anything with coat hangars, push pins, and aluminum foil.

- I'm a pretty funny guy, but I can't be funny intentionally. My comedy mostly comes from me just saying what's on my mind, and not having much of a filter between my mind and my mouth. I may be a bit crude, but I'm always honest.

- Despite being generally considered kind of a hardass, I'm a total cat person and general animal lover. My cats, Hashbrown and Duke Armstrong, are just some of the cutest fucking cats you'll ever meet and I love the shit out of them.

- I have a pretty big nerdy side, I love learning. I can get lost on wikipedia for hours reading about space and astrophysics, I love anything about Cold War history, Norse mythology is totally badass, and I think Chernobyl would be the coolest place on earth to visit. I love video games from all eras and all sorts of genres.

- I know lots of people say it, but I truly do not care what others think of me. I accept that people are just too different for everyone to get along, so why pretend I'm anything different than who I am? I am 100% real all the time, my feeling is that if you like me, then great, maybe I'll like you too and we'll get along without anyone having to pretend to be anyone they're not, and if you don't like me, then that's fine too, we can go our separate ways, not everyone is going to like each other, why get upset over a known fact of society?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working in a warehouse doing the 9-5 thing for now, taking it easy and building up some savings to build myself a mobile BBQ rig to start a catering business, and eventually have a restaurant known for dishes so large and covered in so much nacho cheese and gravy, it'll make the Heart Attack Grill look like Panera Bread.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking. I don't do any fancy pretentious crap with expensive imported organic bullshit, I just take decent ingredients, marinate long and cook slow, and it tastes better than the restaurants.

General handyman stuff - if I can't fix it, it ain't broke! Unless it's your car, you're on your own with that one.

Anything outdoorsy.
Building things.
Getting shit done.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a giant
I love food. Alot.
I'm not a big fan of the human species.
I like weed! I got my medical card thanks to a knee injury that I sustained at my junior prom six years ago. Yep. I used to rip tree stumps out of the ground with my bare hands and lift 200lb boulders, but dancing like a white guy is what kills my knee.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: Terminator 2, Road Warrior, They Live, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, Dirty Harry, Falling Down, Saving Private Ryan, Tron, Death Wish, Windy City Heat, Home Alone, Con Air, Gran Torino, The Holy Mountain, Idiocracy, Star Wars IV through VI, Robocop, THX 1138, Dawn of the Dead, Big Trouble in Little China.

Music: A lot of stuff, but to throw out some names normal people have heard of: Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd, Twisted Sister, Jefferson Airplane, Cypress Hill, Immortal Technique, ZZ Top, Dio, Anthrax, Van Halen, Johnny Cash.
Also: Jerry Goldsmith, Hans Zimmer, James Horner, Ennio Morricone, John Williams, Bach, Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Shostakovich, Tito Puente, Franzl Lang, Slim Whitman, APM/KPM production music, Alan Hawkshaw, Keith Mansfield, Nox Arcana, Midnight Syndicate, miscellaneous indian pow wows, and I fucking love polka.

TV: Arrested Development, Trailer Park Boys, 30 Rock, Always Sunny, Parks and Recreation, Fringe, Modern Marvels, Mythbusters, Futurama, Curb Your Enthusiasm, American Greed, Fringe, X Files, Workaholics, Pete & Pete.

I'm not much for full length novels on account of my lack of free time/attention span, but I do love reading The Onion News and I can spend hours on wikipedia reading up on science, technology and history.

Food: Cheeseburgers, chicken fingers, hushpuppies, fried seafood, Philly cheese steaks, chicken fried steak, pulled pork, anything Reese's, white chocolate macadamia cookies, caramel milkshakes, carnitas&guacamole burritos, singapore noodles/mei fun, chicken saag, ban cuon, and a million other foods - from classic American to Indian to Italian to Chinese to anything else that tastes good.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My totally awesome cats
Junk food
A nice place to sit
Action movies
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How nobody wants to address the fact that 99% of the world's problems are the result of morons having kids they can't (or don't want to) take care of.

How I could make that incredible waffle I once had a dream about, but could never recreate without the captain crunch getting soggy.

The universe, from stars and black holes to quarks and gluons and shit.

Where the hell is the remote?
Who actually watches a "Swamp People" marathon?
Why isn't there a single Chinese restaurant in this city that's open past 10?
When will they stop making horrible remakes of my favorite movies?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Half the time relaxing at home with a variety of junk food, watching tv or playing video games, the other half I might be getting drunk and going bowling or having a BBQ with some friends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Although my profile says straight (because I'm not currently looking to meet any guys and don't want them messaging me), I am bisexual. My preference is primarily for women, but I have been with a guy before, I enjoyed it, and I can see it happening again sometime in the future. I'm out and open about my sexuality, I personally don't think it's a big deal, but a fair amount of people seem to think it is, so I figure I might as well put it out in the open so there's no surprises later.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're an independent, easy-going, fun girl and looking for a similar guy for a casual relationship, and/or sexy friendship. Extra points for girls who have unhealthy obsessions with 90's nickelodeon shows, certain video games, cats, Sheriff John Bunnell, Winnebago Man, Liz Lemon, or Tourettes Guy.

I'm just gonna lay out my dealbreakers/must-haves right here, I don't mean to offend those who don't fit the bill, I just feel that given my feelings on these particular issues, we just won't work together unless:
- You do not seriously follow any religion
- You can make plans a couple days in advance and stick to them. I really really really hate the whole "hey text me in a couple days and we'll figure something out" thing.
- You are 420 friendly, by which I mean you have no problem with me being "high" all the time. I put "high" in quotation marks because I'm a well-seasoned stoner who functions just fine after a couple hits, not like I'm passed out on the couch all day. I have my medical card if that makes you feel any better.
- You prefer a night in on the couch watching movies over going to bars/clubs
- You have a thick skin and enjoy offensive humor