bear-with_me
51 Decatur, AL
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bear-with_me
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My self-summary
11-17-2015 - Working on updating my profile. Check back soon.

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Dateline, DEEP SOUTH (January22, 2013) IMPORTANT NOTE: I just
reactivated OKCupid after a long "Hiatus of Pain". The "QUOTATIONS" mean I am mostly kidding. What is true is that a lot has happened since I was last on here. I've changed. I've learned some things. I would daresay I am hardly the same person. The how and the what and the why of it all is a long story. I would say the BIGGEST change is that I am in a serious, but open, long distance relationship. That has changed things for me quite a bit. It has certainly changed my mentality and goals for this site. In truth, I believe that my recent experiences have changed me so fundamentally that I need to warn you that my profile is not completely TRUE anymore. The good news is that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am a better, healthier person in a better, healthier place than I was before. The bad news is, I have to update my profile and redo my Match questions. Finally, you should know that even though I list "Single" as my status, the long-distance relationship I am in is important to me. But I really, truly, would love to make more friends and find more like-minded people to hang out with and maybe even date. Remember, that "someone" I am "seeing", a) lives far away and 2) wants our relationship to be open (and I agree). But the awesome thing is that there is NO PRESSURE to date cuz I'm pretty damn happy.

S
******ORIGINAL SELF SUMMARY FROM February 2012*******
If you were to read an article at The Onion with me as the subject, the headline would be "Area man, 47, wakes up after 25 year coma and discovers his penis."

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NEW SELF SUMMARY WHEN I IMPLEMENTED MY EXPERIMENT AFTER SEVERAL POTENTIALS TOLD ME THEY WERE OFFENDED BY MY PENIS REFERENCE. FOR THE RECORD IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY MY PENIS REFERENCE, WE'RE NOT A MATCH. I KNOW THIS NOW.
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If you were to read an article at The Onion with me as the subject, the headline would be "Area man, 47, abandons his Crispin Glover online persona, which he had tried in order to get dates, decides to actually be himself."

(3-29-2011- This is day 1 of my scientific experimentNOT SO IMPORTANT NOTE: I ABANDONED THE EXPERIMENT
What I’m doing with my life
I'm stumbling into the light after a long darkness. So now I am getting my bearings. Trying to figure out life and meaning and worth and how to be a better man. I am trying to listen to the hearts and minds of ones wiser than me so I can know how to live the rest of my life.

You know in the movie "Shawshank Redemption" when the protagonist had finally, after decades of work and planning made his escape so that he would be found, later, living a life that was simple but very, very good and rewarding? He was found sanding the hull of a boat by the sea in Mexico. That's what I want. And I don't mean sanding a boat, by the sea in Mexico (although that would undoubtedly be awesome).

What I want is to be at a place where I am content with a few things and simple pleasures. What I want is to spend the rest of my life figuring out Life. And I want to meet people who will bear with me while I figure it all out.

So I need help. I want friends, companions for the journey. Teachers and wise women (and men) with whom I can share life's greatest mysteries, experiences, triumphs, failures and pleasures. And as I figure everything out, I want to be able to do all of this without it feeling like a chore. I need to learn how to do this and be this way in a wholly integrated way, where it just feels natural and right. It's a tall order, but I am really, really excited about it.

And when it comes to relationships (or "the relationship") I am looking for the person to whom I could say "You make me want to be a better man." (Points if you know where that came from).

It's weird. Daily life intrudes. Divorce, Job, family, kids, responsibilities, money. They take my head out of the clouds. But ultimately, I dont want any of these things to be tangential to the way I want to live my life. Instead I want to live it in such a way so that all these things are profoundly effected. I want to not just change my world. I want to change the world around me and make it a better place for everyone I touch. And I am looking for partners to share this vision with me.
I’m really good at
The internet,computers and gadgets.
Cooking
Being Introspective
Being a faithful friend
Building things
Teaching tech stuff
The first things people usually notice about me
I haven't the foggiest idea. Seriously.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books
The Lord of the Rings
The Hobbit (yes huge Tolkien fan)
Just about everything from C.S. Lewis
Sex at Dawn
The Harry Potter series
Shantaram
The Ethical Slut

Poetry
PABLO NERUDA

Movies
The Matrix
The LoTR movies
The Usual Suspects
Star Wars 4,5,6 (not the new ones)
Coen Brothers movies
Tarantino films
esp Kill Bill 1 and 2
Romantic Comedies
Zombie Flick
esp Zombieland

Music
Everything except most Country.

But my favorite you have never heard of is a guy named:

David Wilcox - he is a poet and a life-guru who is profoundly good at putting beautiful melodies to his poetry. To love David Wilcox and his music is to love all the greatest things in life.

Blogs and Podcasts
Dan Savage (points if you know what GGG means)
Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Dish
Julien Smith
The Art of Manliness
The six things I could never do without
SEX. (I know this. I went a long time without and it almost killed me).
FACETIME.
ACTS OF KINDNESS.
DADDY / DAUGHTER TIME.
FATHER / SON TIME.
LEARNING SOMETHING NEW.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Becoming a Better Man.

How To:
Be true to myself
Be Unashamedly Honest
Be Unafraid
Be Good
Be Interesting
Be Fit

Touch, Intimacy, Affection, Sex, Romance.
On a typical Friday night I am
When they're with me, hanging out with the kids watching a movie.

If they're not with me, hanging out at a local place I always go to thats become my "Cheers".
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In Vino Veritas . . .
You should message me if
You liked what I wrote.
You need a friend or a date. Either one is OK with me.
You want to.
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