I don't even know who I am anymore. I go in for my first general physical since I was a teenager and the quack says I'm 5'9". I say no, I'm 5'8". He starts in on a lecture about modern medicine's advances in the discernment of height since the dark ages, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's destroying my entire sense of self-identity. What is the oneness of myself with myself if it's been off by an entire inch all this time?
To complicate the matter further my mother had a miscarriage when I was still gestating, killing my in utero twin and leaving me off by a whole half. My father nicknamed me 'a miscarriage of justice', which gave us all a good chuckle, but technically I'm a miscarriage of a miscarriage.
The only way I'm keeping anything together at all is the open polyamorous relationship I share with my partner lexilives. It's pretty fantastic.
Discovering progression by progression how beer swilling and pistol squats are inimical to the press handstand.
movies) A toss up between 1955's It's Always Fair Weather and 2005's Roll Bounce. What's the point of it all if there's no dancing in roller skates? Two movies in 50 years! Hollywood's moral decrepitude is limitless.
shows) Fishing With John.
music) I love a little bit of everything and one of the best parts about new people is the new music they come with, so here's what I know I don't like: I dread every awful note that's ever come out of Meatloaf's melodramatic mouth; Led Zeppelin would be an interesting cover band if they weren't just a band of fucking thieves; Andrew Lloyd Webber is like some demonic version of Phillip Glass, born of a strange dimension where composers are condemned to write elaborate third rate dinner theater musicals with no more than five notes.
My new favorite is Bernie Sanders' inexplicable 1987 cover of Where Have All The Flowers Gone. It's like William Shatner's 1968 cover of It Was a Very Good Year but he adds a bunch of anachronistic verses. For some reason he starts ranting about laser beams, which didn't exist until five years after Pete Seeger wrote the song. As usual, it's complete madness.
food) I like food. I like cooking food. I like offering you food. I will offer you food.
wind, a liriodendron
It's likely that the Ottomans had picked it up from further East. The MIng Dynasty had established systematic inoculation against the pox by around mid 16th century. If the early 15th century voyages of Admiral Zheng He had made a return on the investment and the Chinese were driven to find a shorter route to Europe as the Europeans were driven to find a shorter route to China, the Chinese would perhaps have colonized the Americas first, bringing their public health practices with them, which could have prevented the destruction of tens of millions of indigenous Americans and their societies by the pox, which would have prevented the worst of the Little Ice Age, ameliorating all manner of attendant famines, plagues, and wars precipitated by anthropogenic climate change back in the old world.