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30 Columbus, OH Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body type
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, German (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am real. I am so real that you can hold me up to the light and see a hologram. But the hologram is just a picture of me. But I am real. The real deal. I am so genuine that you can “ride it, my pony." That’s a reference to something kind of obscure, but not really. That’s how genuine I am. I am so legit, that I cannot quit. In fact, that is probably also my main problem. But problems mean I am real, dawg, so step off. And stepping is something I do well. No twisted ankles here. Don’t step on any cracks either, so your mother’s back is safe. But not her backside, if you know what I mean. Yeah. I am your new dad- step-dad- how does that make you feel? I am your age and I will send you to your room. Don’t you talk to me like that under my roof and I do not care whose name is on the deed, because the deed is done and that deed is your underage drinking and I also do not care how old you really are. Beep bop a doop, yeah. Put on these jammies and put down that whiskey, Santa Claus is a-comin’ tonight.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Collecting fortunes out of fortune cookies. You know they don't come true if you don't eat the cookie.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Apparently I'm pretty good at Wii Mario Kart. Came in 8th place on my first try.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Grinning, chuckling to myself like an idiot.

That I got shoes on my hands and gloves on my feet. But look closer! I was walking on my hands all along.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oh, uh, well..I, uh, wha-what do you like?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
There are six beams holding this delicate shelter up. If any one of them were to be removed, the roof would come crashing down on me, surely crushing me to death. It's all I think about.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My next great salvo of tweets.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Out with the girls! We're so quirky and our humor random; we all ride bikes of model tandem.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was switched at birth as a child and I never told my parents.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wanna make bad first impressions.

Or if you wanna get matching tattoos.